Community Chat

[circles]

MomOf4.....love that line...."We can forgive, if we can remember without pain.."

Though my pain was long ago....I still can't forgive...as I can't remember without it still being painful...your line fits we perfectly....thanks...lol...

[sylviahomeatlast]

on the Catholic TV network, I heard that we should forgive BUT we need to be prudent----we don't have to interact with those who harm us ----take care of ourselves

[voyager1980]

On 8/17/2014 dooBdoo said:

I think the act of forgiveness is separate from "forgetting."

Holding onto resentment hurts the person feeling the resentment.

(Remember the adage, resentment is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.)

As I wrote on another thread yesterday, forgiveness doesn't mean what the other person did was okay. Forgiveness is a gift to ourselves.

But we don't suddenly have amnesia. I think remembering, without anger or upset, protects us from being hurt in the same way in the future.

Good point about the acid.

[colliemom4]

On 8/17/2014 sylviahomeatlast said: on the Catholic TV network, I heard that we should forgive BUT we need to be prudent----we don't have to interact with those who harm us ----take care of ourselves

I totally agree with that.

[foundinlv]

On 8/17/2014 Catfancy1 said:

Have you really forgiven if you can't "forget"?

No, but life goes on and bad memories get replaced with new happy ones.

[Suziepeach]

NM

[Elstongunn]

Well, I guess I'm the only one who never engages in hand-wringing over forgiving or not forgiving.

Seriously, it doesn't bother me one whit not to forgive someone. I don't lose sleep over it, it doesn't burn in me like acid, I never feel sad over it. It just is. And I go on with my life being happy and light as a feather (emotionally) over it. It obviously doesn't burden me as it must a lot of people.

I guess if people are so torn up over it that they need to "gift" themselves by forgiving someone, that's great. I've just never felt those kinds of burdens or needs.

[ROMARY]

On 8/17/2014 sylviahomeatlast said: on the Catholic TV network, I heard that we should forgive BUT we need to be prudent----we don't have to interact with those who harm us ----take care of ourselves

I like that way of thinking. Take care of ourselves, keep out of trouble, if possible.

[sunshine45]

i can forgive and try to mend something bad that has happened, but i dont EVER believe in forgetting......i think if you forget it makes you weak and more susceptible to pain and problems again.

[ShowMe]

On 8/17/2014 Catfancy1 said:

On 8/17/2014 Lion said:

It's not possible to really forget unless we have amnesia.

I think a better definition would be not dwelling on it, leaving it in the past.

True! I just have trouble letting go of some things.

I think this happens to all of us at one time or another.......