FORGIVE AND FORGET..... - Page 7

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

As someone commented, It is easy to semi-forget if the person is making a very sincere effort to right his/her bad (or whatever) behavior.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

KathyPet · ‎03-09-2010

Well now my 20 year old son was shot to death in 1999. In order to forgive his killer am I supposed to forget the circumstances of my son's death?? I don't think so.

skuggles · ‎11-20-2013

That's terrible ((KathyPet)). I am very sorry for your loss. No you aren't supposed to forget it. That's impossible, and puts into perspective what an onerous task it is to forget a deed so devastating.

NC Bandwagon · ‎05-03-2014

I think maybe a better way of saying it would be "forgive and don't hold a grudge." I don't think it's possible to literally forget what happened. But if you don't hold a grudge and don't bring up the offense, then over time, eventually you just won't think about it anymore. It also depends on the person. If they keep treating you bad, then you can forgive, but you can't forget, even if you want to. Just my opinion.

@KathyPet, I am very sorry about what happened to your son. I think in yours and others' case, there's really no forgetting.

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LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

On 8/18/2014 KathyPet said: Well now my 20 year old son was shot to death in 1999. In order to forgive his killer am I supposed to forget the circumstances of my son's death?? I don't think so.

No, never. You will never forget and IMO something like that is impossible to "forgive." I know a lot of people say they can forgive someone like that, but I can't believe they truly do. I can't even imagine the horror of what happened to your son, and my heart goes out to you having had to suffer the worst a parent can imagine.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

lulu2 · ‎03-09-2010

On 8/18/2014 KathyPet said: Well now my 20 year old son was shot to death in 1999. In order to forgive his killer am I supposed to forget the circumstances of my son's death?? I don't think so.

KathyPet, each time I read about your son's tragic death, I want to scream. I cannot imagine the pain you and your family have endured. ${#emotions_dlg.sad}$

pinkskates4 · ‎03-10-2010

If the hurt is deep and painful, it may not be possible to forgive until some healing has taken place.

That doesn't mean the person has to apologize and atone - that may never happen. But if you have a raw open wound, it doesn't help to be told to "just get over it and move on." That just doesn't happen easily.

And if the person does apologize - but then continues to repeat the hurtful behavior - as if it doesn't really matter, I don't see forgiveness happening there either.

voyager1980 · ‎09-14-2013

On 8/18/2014 KathyPet said: Well now my 20 year old son was shot to death in 1999. In order to forgive his killer am I supposed to forget the circumstances of my son's death?? I don't think so.

(((((((KathyPet)))))))))))

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

On 8/18/2014 kdgn said:
I neither forgive nor forgive. Instead I attempt to let go. To say that I forget would be impossible. I remember, sometimes with a greater understanding, it would be impossible to forget.

Bingo! At last somone who isn't pretending to be a Saint. Some things I can forgive. There are some things that just cannot be forgiven and quite frankly shouldn't be forgiven. But if the person sincerely apologizes; I can put it aside, make a conscious decision to let go of the anger and resentment and move forward with the relationship. But moving on does not always mean I've forgiven.