Reply
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,394
Registered: ‎04-19-2010

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

The meaning of "the honor of your presence" has taken a major shift if invited guests are now honored via a bill for their participation. I must be totally out of step; I was not happy when invited to a bridal shower complete with the specific space in the couple's home I was buying for along with the registry from Target. Was I to be stoned if the gift did not meet the bride's expectations? I realize now that I was naive about what is apparently an acceptable practice. GoFundMe will be next (if it isn't the norm already).

 

If you would enjoy the wedding and are willing to pay for your dinner, I hope you have a nice time. Given the fact the couple sent out this type of invitation, if you don't go as a protest of sorts, it will likely go over their heads.

 

 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,536
Registered: ‎05-27-2014

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

Tacky but typical for the generation, unfortunately. 

 

dee

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,675
Registered: ‎03-28-2015

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

I was watching "Say Yes to the Dress" and a bride saw and loved a dress that was THOUSANDS over her budget. When they asked her how she was going to pay for it...she responded like a spoiled brat and said "I'll just cut people off the guest list"!!!

 

If I was invited to THAT wedding and saw that.....there would be no gift or attending from us....

Honored Contributor
Posts: 21,016
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

Everything costs too much anymore...graduations/proms are out of sight on what they do now, and I'll bet weddings and receptions are very expensive too.

 

What would each one of those cost today? I can't begin to imagine.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,344
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???


@Lucky Charm wrote:

At first I thought the theme of the food would be 'Dutch' dishes/desserts.  I couldn't even think of what country it would be from!

 

Totally forgot about 'going Dutch' --each pay for their own, or whatever it's called.


I thought the same thing.  

 

We once received an invitation to a wedding that included a little card saying something to the effect of "if you are going to be so generous as to gift us, we would prefer it to be a cash gift"!

 

No, we did not go!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,681
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

priorities,  in this entitlement society,  i guess newlyweds feel that others should support their wants.  guess they didn't save up, huh?  well, nuh-huh, not here.  better to do what you can afford, and do it well.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 36,947
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

It is like they are putting on a play, and you are supposed to buy your ticket and be entertained by "honoring" them and being delighted that you are there and "honored" to get a seat.  You are an audience member at that point NOT a guest.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,019
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

[ Edited ]

@Lila Belle wrote:
I take it back. I've been to a few wedding suppers
for friends that married right before deployments and money was tight. Good times, good memories and not an imposition, imo.

Whole different scenario, with the deployment involved, and not unreasonable at all in those cases.

 

Otherwise, I'd say just have some cake and coffee in the church fellowship hall and forget trying to get others to pay for a higher class reception that the bride and groom (or families) can't or don't want to afford.

 

All this wedding hoo haa that people kill themselves over, just isn't worth it. The size/expense of the wedding and reception have no influence on the strength and length of the marriage. People should spend more time, effort and money on the selection of the right mate, and strengthening and preserving the  marriage, than the ceremony and the party afterward.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,287
Registered: ‎01-24-2013

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???


@NYC Susan wrote:

@proudlyfromNJ wrote:

@151949 wrote:

I don't go to obvious gift grab weddings and this one is screaming gift grab.Send back the RSVP that you will not be attending and absolutely do not send a gift.


I don't know anyone who would have a "gift grab" wedding thank goodness. My friends are not like that. 


 

Mine aren't either.  I've never heard the term "gift grab" except on these forums, and I've never been invited to a wedding that ever - by the wildest stretch of the imagination - felt like a gift grab.  

 

And I have been to a lot of weddings!!


```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

ITA.

 

I've seen the same thing said about wedding and baby showers.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,331
Registered: ‎01-09-2011

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

 

A "Go Fund Me" wedding is next....

 

I won't be attending nor will I be sending a gift.

 

 

"Cats are poetry in motion. Dogs are gibberish in neutral." -Garfield