Community Chat

[Mj12]

I've never heard of this.  But I would have much preferred a dutch treat reception than the one we went to last Fall for a niece.  The bride's mother had the (bad) DJ make at least 3 announcements that guests could not go for 'seconds' of dinner, that there wasn't enough food for that. 

[missy1]

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@Lila Belle wrote:

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@NYC Susan wrote:

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@proudlyfromNJ wrote:

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@151949 wrote:

I don't go to obvious gift grab weddings and this one is screaming gift grab.Send back the RSVP that you will not be attending and absolutely do not send a gift.

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I don't know anyone who would have a "gift grab" wedding thank goodness. My friends are not like that. 

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Mine aren't either.  I've never heard the term "gift grab" except on these forums, and I've never been invited to a wedding that ever - by the wildest stretch of the imagination - felt like a gift grab.  

And I have been to a lot of weddings!!

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ITA.

I've seen the same thing said about wedding and baby showers.

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The  recent Duggar girls weddings were a gift grab imo. Everthing  probably donated (including time), inviting 1000's of so called guests, and serving cookies and ice cream. They set the bar really high.

[CalminHeart]

It sounds like the dinner was a separate thing and after the wedding reception.  It would not bother me at all to pay for my own dinner if it was me.  The reception is over.  If you want to go to dinner, go.  If not, no problem.

[Lila Belle]

Did anyone of these girls post a list of the 1000's of gifts they were able to "grab?"

Just curious.

[shoptilyadropagain]

No, I've never heard of such a thing.  If you can't afford it, the bride/groom & their family need to scale the wedding back to what they can afford without being tacky.  A friend of mine did get invited to a wedding reception that was a potluck/carry in.

Just on the principle of it, I would decline the reception but still go to the wedding.  However, if you have to travel any distance to attend the wedding, you will have to eat anyway but I'd still be tempted to not attend and eat elsewhere. 

[KathyPet]

It will be interesting to hear what the OP's friend (mother of the groom) has to say when the OP talks to her.  If a child of mine did this I would be completely embarrassed and totally humiliated.  I would refuse to provide mailing addresses for the couple to even send invitations out to my friends to this very tacky event and I would not even attend.  Someone needs to give this bride and groom a serious reality check.

[muttmom]

This is a new one for me.  Personally I think it is tacky.

Cake and punch after the ceremony would be more appropriate than asking guests to pay for the pleasure of attending and eating at your wedding.

I've always thought anyone can attend a church wedding.  Only the reception requires an invitation.

[Deanie]

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@Chrystaltree2 wrote:

Yes, it;s the tackiest thing a couple could ever do.  Hang your head in shame tacky.  I would have a champagne and cake reception before I would make my guests pay for their own meals.  

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well said

[Marianne1]

odd, but I wonder if there is a mis-communication perhaps.  Maybe they are paying for the dinners, but want you to pre-select so they sent the menu?

I don't know, just thinking out loud.  

[beckyb1012]

I miss the days of cake, punch and pastel mints and nuts at the reception.  It was all about wishing well to the new couple than stuffing our faces with food.

Would prefer just giving a quick hug and go off and spend my day or night the way I choose to.