Dutch Treat Reception ??? - Page 25

KALLIE · ‎02-17-2016

@Marianne1 wrote:
Why do others call opinions and customs of others "tacky"?

While we are all allowed opinions, I just think there has to be a better way to state them without insulting other people's choices and customs.

Think of all the hurt feelings your words may cause- there are people here that may just have had the kind of wedding or custom that you are calling "tacky".

The FIRST sentence of post #240 explains it.

Deanie · ‎03-09-2010

@missy1 wrote:
@151949 wrote:
@Marianne1 wrote:
Why do others call opinions and customs of others "tacky"?

While we are all allowed opinions, I just think there has to be a better way to state them without insulting other people's choices and customs.

Think of all the hurt feelings your words may cause- there are people here that may just have had the kind of wedding or custom that you are calling "tacky".

People here love to call others tacky - thinking it somehow elevates them when , in fact, nothing could be more tacky than calling someone tacky, or mocking some other person's lifestyle. Because my DH and I stay in a trailer in the summer I frequently get the "trailer trash" BS here, and they have no knowledge whatever how many posters may live in a trailer. Clearly there are many posters here who think that because they have money they are classy - they haven't a clue what makes a woman a lady - and that it has NOTHING to do with money.

It's the actions (whatever you want to call it) that are tacky, not the person. What other word would like to use instead of "tacky"?

Looked up some synonyms of tacky in the Thesarus, since, there was a discussion by the pc crowd on the term. The online thesarus lists many and they are much worse IMHO.

Marianne1 · ‎04-16-2013

Obviously, the point of my post was missed. It was not so much the word "tacky" as the putting down different customs or practices while stating an opinion.

The word was the example. There are many posts that do not contain that particular word, but still denigrate other people's customs, including, but no limited to: cost of celebrations, registries, wedding styles, gift types....

I just feel for the people that may read here that their celebration or custom was "wrong".

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

@KarenQVC wrote:
@Carmie---Speaking of, have you seen the registry for this couple? I bet it is an eye opener.

I don't think there is a registry. It is common in our area to only give cash gifts so a registry isn't needed.

There might be one if she is having a wedding shower. I haven't been invited to a shower and my friend ( the grooms mother ) hasn't mentioned going to one.

The bride is originally from Vermont and we are in Pennsylvania, so maybe her folks are having a shower for her in Vermont.

There is no wedding party, just Best Man and Matron of Honor. It looks like a small affair.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

While some may not wish to hear what others think of their choices, those who want to make a good impression, need to make a good impression perhaps for their career or to be accepted by people they value, it's exactly what they should want to hear.

Surely, most of us want to avoid embarrassing ourselves by behaving inappropriately. Being told anonymously on a BB has to be better than finding yourself unpopular and wondering why.

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

Wow, what an interesting update! I could just feel how shocked she was at seeing the conditions on the invitation!

Good for her stepping up. Maybe these kids just didn't realize that this was inappropriate at all. I guess that's about the only way to describe it, eh?

Glad things will be fixed and hope the wedding is wonderful!

RazorSharp · ‎02-20-2016

@occasionalrain said it best when she reminded us that any kind of registry is not a demand for gifts from tacky, entitled people. It's just a suggestion to help the wedding guests who are looking for ideas. People of every socioeconomic background use registries. If you don't believe it, Google famous wedding registries, and you'll see examples. I'm sure we've all been in positions where we've asked someone what they wanted for their birthday or Christmas and they say, "It's okay, you don't have to get me anything," and it drives you nuts, because then you have to ponder some fantastic gift to buy them. So, if you want to buy the bride a cheap, cut glass punch bowl from evine instead of something on the registry, go for it, but don't say she's tacky or entitled for having the registry to try to help you out.

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

While I am one of those people who could not feel comfortable about doing a gift registry (for my benefit), I do understand that it's not just a blatant grab. Sure, it is a solicitation but if it's for a wedding, where gifts are traditional (unless somebody requests no gifts) anyway, I think it's appropriate - for other people, though, not me.

I think (hope) most people can see it from both sides. I would participate in it for somebody else but, OTOH, I would not have one for myself just because any kind of gift solicitation (with me on the receiving end) makes me profoundly uncomfortable. My thing for my own affair would be - just come. Don't bring anything.

sunshine45 · ‎03-09-2010

chickenbutt wrote:
While I am one of those people who could not feel comfortable about doing a gift registry (for my benefit), I do understand that it's not just a blatant grab. Sure, it is a solicitation but if it's for a wedding, where gifts are traditional (unless somebody requests no gifts) anyway, I think it's appropriate - for other people, though, not me.

I think (hope) most people can see it from both sides. I would participate in it for somebody else but, OTOH, I would not have one for myself just because any kind of gift solicitation (with me on the receiving end) makes me profoundly uncomfortable. My thing for my own affair would be - just come. Don't bring anything.

for those who DONT do any type of a registry, i generally give cash or a check.....although i will say that i have not come across anyone NOT having some type of a registry for either a wedding or a baby. it is pretty much common around here with a wide price range of items available.

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"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein

muttmom · ‎11-28-2012

@Carmie

Thanks for the update. I can only imagine the embarrassment your friend must have felt when she learned her son and future DIL were asking their guests to pay for their meals. I would have been mortified but thankful to know what was transpiring.

It is never a good idea to invite someone to your celebration then ask them to pay for the pleasure of being there. In my world that is TACKY.