Buying a house with a significant other? - Page 2

sissel · ‎08-13-2010

He has been married 3 times so there you go, don't think he would jump in for a 4th time. How about renting half your house to him but get a lawyer that specializes in real estate and do a 9 month lease that way if things don't work out he can leave or you will not renew his lease.and he will go. You may not get along living with eachother plus it help you & your brother with house expenses. Where is he living now? Also see how your brother feels, he owns half the house with you, he has a say. I would be very careful doing this. Don't be too quick to do this just seems things aren't right.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@hennypenny wrote:
Never mix business with pleasure. Let him buy his own house with his own money.
Keep your mother's house in your family as sole and seperate property.
Anything that is not in writing, is folly.
Be very very careful.
Don't let "love" get in your way and cloud your judgement.

@hennypenny

There's nothing wrong with him wanting to leave something to his 4 kids ..... that doesn't make him a bad guy!

People accumulate wealth and property over time, and older people re-marrying should just keep things separate. This is just plain common sense.

Bellabutterfly · ‎04-10-2014

Run...And run fast....!

I had a family member, who was Engaged and decited to purchase a home together before they got married.

We all tried to talk him out of it...He did not listen.

Then they decided to furnish the entire home too. He paid for ALL the Furnishings, all the expenses, heating bill, light bill, phone bill, all grocery bills.

My family member, returned home after being away on a 2 - week overseas business trip. He walked into the home and throught he was robbed.

She cleaned him out! All the furniture in the entire house was gone. He found a note saying the engagement was off. However, she did not leave the "Expensive Engagement Ring".

We tried to talk him out of buying it together. What was the hurry? Well, he got screwed!

He had to hire an attorney and get the home changed into his name...Had to refinance and Interest rates were now at a higher rate.

And even though he paid for everything...He had to pay her out...Even though he purchased everything and paid for everything. Furniture, all the electric, heating, phone and all grocery bills.

It was a "Very Expensive Lesson" to learn. She hit him right in the "Bank Account".

He did get the one of a kind "Custom Made Engagement Ring" back...Thank God!

So, Carlycat...Do NOT DO IT...

Run...Forest....Run...

Life is like a box of chocolates...

You never know what you are going to get...?

hopi · ‎03-09-2010

You need to protect your self and your assests. Three divorces says alot. Unreasonable will not protect you in court. Some men like to be married. Make sure thats not your goal. He is telling you his intentions and you need to hear him loud and clear. The ladies above are offering you sound advice.

JaneMarple · ‎05-23-2011

@carlycat You already know the answer to your question. It sounds like you're second guessing yourself, DON'T! If your instincts are yelling at you then listen to them. The other posters gave you excellent advice, keep your half of your family home to yourself.

You Don't Own Me- Leslie Gore
(You don't Know) How Glad I Am- Nancy Wilson

BlingQueen022 · ‎09-23-2012

Do not marry him, you will be divorce number 4.

Big Sister · ‎05-15-2010

I know you already have doubts or you would not have posted.

My "motto" has always been, WHEN IN DOUBT, DON'T.

If he ends the engagement when you say "no" then you will know what his agenda is.

I tend to be suspicious, and I hope to be proven wrong in this case.

mzlg · ‎04-28-2011

Carlycat wrote:
Ladies, appreciate your thoughts on this situation . I am 60 and engaged to a nice man who is 63. I own my deceased mother's house with my brother, and my fiancée needs a house to use as his office. He does not currently own another home. We cere considering having him buy the other half of my mother's house from my brother, so that my fiancée and I would own it together.
However, he told me, that even if we got married, even if we owned it together for 10 years, he would leave his "half" of the house to his four adult children from his previous three marriages. He said he would let me use it as long as I wanted, but that he would not leave his "half" to me.
I feel this is wrong and unreasonable, especially if we were married. He says I am unreasonable and anyone would agree with him. He had a very expensive third divorce and says he's not losing that kind of money again. Your thoughts, please.

In baseball terms, I believe that 3 failed marriages would equal 3 strikes - He's OUT!

~

As others have stated: RUN, fast and far from him.

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With what he has told you, you have been forewarned - he is NOT looking out for your best interests and future well being as his wife. He is looking out for himself and resentfully so.

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In my honest opinion he is NOT best friend, boy friend or husband "material".

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I hope you seek the counsel of several reputable individuals - an attorney, your Pastor/Clergy and there are free marriage counseling alternative - to help you prevent/solve relationship problems (check on-line for a location near you).

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So many have offered you very sound advice, I hope you take this information to heart & mind.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Seek an attorney for the best advice. It'll be the best investment at this stage of your life you get. It'll save heartache maybe, for you all down the road. Really.

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

If you marry him, how would you be treated in his will?

I don't know what to advise you except to say don't rush any decisions and think carefully about this. If you need this house for your own security, don't agree to anything that would endanger that. There would probably be many complications to owning your house along with four of his children years from now. How would decisions about repairs be made? What about payment of property taxes? What if some of them decided to move in with you? Would any directions he put in his will prevent any problems along these lines? Perhaps I'm misunderstanding how this would work.

What kind of business use would he be making of the house? Would he have clients/customers coming to the house?

I agree with the poster above who said to go with your gut feeling about this.