Assisted Living - Page 5

conlt · ‎03-16-2010

I agree independent living is another option. She would have her own apartment but would have the support of meals.

Sweet Caroline 1 · ‎12-12-2017

@hopi wrote:
Sometimes the best intentions of children work out poorly.
The post make me very sad also.
Hopefully she can break out of there and find a different solution.

Yes! Break out of there! I don't have children but when my mother was older, us sisters fell over one another watching over her and being there for her. She would have done the same for us if we had taken ill. My oldest sister made me swear that I would never put her in a home. She is so young to be in a place like this. I wish there could be something else they could do for her. It is so sad. Aubiegirl, maybe she could live with you. You girls would be wonderful company for each other and have a lot of fun. Just a suggestion.

chiclet · ‎03-19-2010

@SeaMaiden wrote:
oh I see now... she signed over all her money to your greedy sisters... then that was her mistake. Why did she do this? She needed an attorney of her own to tell her not to give the family power over her funds. That was her mistake.....

When my sister was not in her best state of mind she signed over everything to her daughters not my sisters. She realizes now that she made a mistake but she was not thinking straight. I think the daughters want her to be cared for but maybe not in the way she wants. Other people might think they know what is best for you but it may not agree with what you think is best for you. She has the best sense of humor and has had so much heartbreak in her life but I have never seen her this unhappy.

violann · ‎03-10-2010

@tansy wrote:
The daughters would need more than a POA to ‘force’ her into an AL facility. They would need to have a guardianship — difficult and expensive to get. The legal system bends over backwards to protect someone’s autonomy. It sounds like she needs legal help to deal with the daughters.

Not true in our situation. We DO have POA but not guardianship per se, and

@Jordan2, my mother THRIVED in a nursing facility and her quality of life was FAR better there than in her own home, OR in mine.

GSPgirl · ‎01-03-2012

@chiclet wrote:
My sister went in to assisted living about a month ago and she hates it. She is in early 60s and has MS and had a stroke but it did not leave any bad effects. Her mind is good and she is very mobile. Her children put her in Assisted living. According to her there is not really any assistance. She can go to dining room to eat but she says the smell of the older people in diapers and the food smell makes her sick. It is a new nice place and the cost is unbelievable. She is afraid to do anything because they will charge extra. I think maybe she is just to young and not disabled enough to be there but it is not my call. My heart just breaks because she feels like a trapped animal. She says for what they charge there is really not much quality of care. I know this is just one place but I did have a neighbor tell me the same thing about her mothers AC facility and she was moving her.

My father-in-law’s Place was beautiful and we never smelled diapers when we went to eat with him in the dining room. My cousin was a director in many assisted living places. He told me if you are smelling human waste, it’s not being run well. Unfortunately, not all places have the same standards. I hope she finds another place soon.

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

@violann wrote:
@tansy wrote:
The daughters would need more than a POA to ‘force’ her into an AL facility. They would need to have a guardianship — difficult and expensive to get. The legal system bends over backwards to protect someone’s autonomy. It sounds like she needs legal help to deal with the daughters.
Not true in our situation. We DO have POA but not guardianship per se, and
@Jordan2, my mother THRIVED in a nursing facility and her quality of life was FAR better there than in her own home, OR in mine.

I’m going to assume your mother was willing to go along with your wishes, @violann.

Gooday · ‎03-23-2010

5 years ago we moved my then 85 year old dad into a senior living facility. It was an apartment building consisting of anywhere from studio apartments up to 2 beds/2baths with an in-unit washer and dryer. It is a Catholic run facility. It had a bank in it, a barber/beauty shop, church, coffee shop, etc.

The deal is that you buy the apartment and pay a hefty HOA fee. However, you have NO other costs. No taxes, utilities, etc. When you leave and/or die, your estate gets back everything less 10%.

He only liked it because his brother was there. He said it was like living in a hotel. He also said there were way more women than men and only a few married couples. There were plenty of activities and entertainment (which he liked), but generally he loved when DH and I would take him out shopping and to restaurants. Fast forward to 2017: DH and I were snowbirds with my brother living a few blocks over from us in AZ. We as a family decided that since my Dad was really getting up there in age and DH and I wanted to see our home in IL.

, we moved him to Az. to be with us.

We should have done it before we moved him into the senior facility.

Addendum: The facility also had a clinic on the grounds affiliated with Loyola Hospital. It also had another building for dementia and advanced assistance in another building.

My final comment is that you'd better have lots of savings and a good pension check (which my Dad did) but.....he pays nothing to live with my brother and SIL.

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

@Gooday — From what I’m seeing about those kind of facilities, you were lucky to get that much money back.

GenXmuse · ‎05-15-2016

Many of those places your spirit dies before you do. I couldn’t put my mom in one if she didn’t have insurmountable medical problems. Sounds like your sister is giving you a cry for help.

Jordan2 · ‎03-16-2010

My brother, who has since passed, broke his foot badly when he was in his mid to late fifties. He was admitted to a rehab/ nursing home for rehab. When my mother, sister,and I would visit him, as soon as you got off the elevator the stench would hit you in the face .It was the most depressing place, my brother couldn't wait to be released.