Valued Contributor
Posts: 829
Registered: ‎06-02-2010

I will defend any child that needs defending. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,904
Registered: ‎09-22-2017

No, not a bystander.


I was at a farmers market a few years ago, in the middle of the summer.

Someone had two small dogs in a car with the window down only an

inch or two. I was furious. I went to someone who had a stand and he

called security. The matter was taken care of in a short time, people

are horrible, these poor dogs couldn't breathe in the sun in the hot

weather, so sad, I couldn't get them out of my mind all day.


Another time I was in a small grocery store and I saw a shoplifter.

A woman was stealing a package of cookies, put them right into

her purse. I stood there shocked, she was a little ahead of me but

I saw it happen. I went right to the front of the store and reported,

not sure what happened because then I left, couldn't believe it,

committing a crime for a couple bucks.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,585
Registered: ‎03-22-2012

No, not a bystander. Unless the assailant is armed, I'm yelling at the very least. 

"The good thing about Science is that it's true, whether or not you believe in it."
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,482
Registered: ‎04-15-2014

Re: Are you a bystander?

[ Edited ]

     I live in San Francisco and a few years ago when I was 31 (I'm 35 now) a group of mean teens on the train were making fun of and "outing" a trans woman- despite the train being completely jam packed with adult men and women, no one said anything.  I was quickly evaluating what to do and less than a minute into this the trans woman understandably started to feel ganged up upon and I knew that I had to stop it before it escalated.  I took my 4'11" sporty self and walked right up to the punk teens and yelled for them to knock it off or get off the train and to apologize to the woman.  They laughed and said she was "gross" and an "ugly man"- I squared off with them and yelled even louder at them and cussed them out and told them to be ashamed of themselves and get off the train right now. I wouldn't back down and the teens who were all much taller than me all got spooked and ran off the train. 


    Everyone looked stunned after they left and I sat next to her and apologized for their actions and comforted her.  People sheepishly walked up to me and said "I was going to help her" "I was going to say something" - it made me angry that all of these people could've and should've and didn't.  I'm glad that I got those teens off of the bus and although it would've been nice to have "backup". I knew with my combat sports background that I could've taken all of these teens down if it had to come down to it.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,775
Registered: ‎07-18-2013

There are so many variables in each situation, but I recently heard a young man and woman yelling at each other in a hospital parking lot and she yelled for him to stop following her and go away.  I then stopped and called to her asking if she was okay and if I needed to alert security for assistance.  The man immediately backed off and she said things were fine and under control.  I left and went into the hospital  for my test and told the security guard about the confrontation as I went in.  The security staff was on the way to the parking lot to check things out.  So I guess there are some circumstances when I'm not a bystander.

If my dog doesn't like you, neither do I.