Community Chat

[ann1989]

I am an approachable friendly woman but if you ask me if I know who is hiring my demeanor quickly changes.  I'm not an employment agency and I wish people would stop asking me where to go and what to do to break into x y or z line of work.  Everyone tells me it's because I look the part but inevitably the conversation gets too intrusive and they want to know what I do for a living and then how can they do the same. Women younger than me, women the same age as me approach me with these questions needy and hungry to get their lives on track and yes I feel for them but I cannot help someone just because my face looks like I can. I tell people to apply for jobs online at venues they're interested in.  That's how it's done nowadays and people don't necessarily have an inside track.  Inside tracks are not even looked upon favorably by most big companies anyway. If you have good references and experience, you should be okay.  Why do people think that complete strangers can get them a job?  No, I'm not in NY but another large metropolitan city.

[Jaspersmom]

Brooklyn born and have lived on LI for many, many, many years.  Most of the people I know are friendly, but I gotta tell you, I do know some who are the stereotypical, know-it-all, loud mouth NYers.  Can't stand them.  Anyway, people are people. NYers are talkers and will strike up a conversation with nearly anyone.  Usually when a NYer meets someone. one of the first few questions are where do they live and what do they do for a living.  I was at a funeral in the Midwest years ago and met many people who had been friends with my MIL.  One man came over and introduced himself and started making some small talk.  I asked him the typical NY questions including what he did for a living.  His response was, "Well, little lady, you certainly know how to ask some nosey questions, don't you?"  I was so taken aback and left speechless.  I mentioned it to my husband who was from that part of the country and he said that's not a typical question people from the Midwest get asked when they first meet someone.  I still think  asking that question shows an interest in the other person and is not meant to be intrusive at all.  

[CelticCrafter]

I was born & bred in one of the boroughs.

I left a long time ago.

I find most New Yorkers to be flat out rude, myself included at times.

[Greeneyedlady21]

There are plenty of unfriendly people everywhere.

[suzyQ3]

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@ann1989 wrote:

I am an approachable friendly woman but if you ask me if I know who is hiring my demeanor quickly changes.  I'm not an employment agency and I wish people would stop asking me where to go and what to do to break into x y or z line of work.  Everyone tells me it's because I look the part but inevitably the conversation gets too intrusive and they want to know what I do for a living and then how can they do the same. Women younger than me, women the same age as me approach me with these questions needy and hungry to get their lives on track and yes I feel for them but I cannot help someone just because my face looks like I can. I tell people to apply for jobs online at venues they're interested in.  That's how it's done nowadays and people don't necessarily have an inside track.  Inside tracks are not even looked upon favorably by most big companies anyway. If you have good references and experience, you should be okay.  Why do people think that complete strangers can get them a job?  No, I'm not in NY but another large metropolitan city.

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@ann1989, what?????????

[Porcelain]

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@Jaspersmom wrote:

Brooklyn born and have lived on LI for many, many, many years.  Most of the people I know are friendly, but I gotta tell you, I do know some who are the stereotypical, know-it-all, loud mouth NYers.  Can't stand them.  Anyway, people are people. NYers are talkers and will strike up a conversation with nearly anyone.  Usually when a NYer meets someone. one of the first few questions are where do they live and what do they do for a living.  I was at a funeral in the Midwest years ago and met many people who had been friends with my MIL.  One man came over and introduced himself and started making some small talk.  I asked him the typical NY questions including what he did for a living.  His response was, "Well, little lady, you certainly know how to ask some nosey questions, don't you?"  I was so taken aback and left speechless.  I mentioned it to my husband who was from that part of the country and he said that's not a typical question people from the Midwest get asked when they first meet someone.  I still think  asking that question shows an interest in the other person and is not meant to be intrusive at all.  

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I'm from the Midwest too. And it isn't a question you ask early on. You have to talk about general topics for a while, hovering around topics you might have in common. Then once you establish commonality, then you might ask where the person is from or where they work. And then the person usually offers what they do.

East Coast is usually more direct, and that is considered friendly. I enjoy that. Midwest, you hover around more and each person offers info if they want to and when they're ready, rather than having to be asked. If they don't offer, there's probably a reason.

In the South where I am now, I can't figure it out at all. Lots of sideways conversations that are about more than the words but I can't always figure it out. The tone and eye contact while you're saying something seem to mean a lot in the South.

And of course none of that applies to everyone in each group.

[reiki604]

I am a NYer my entire life and am disturbed by the stereotypes some have of us. This is even more true when I read the stories of some on this board who don't know or don't want to know their neighbors, are afraid to answer their front door, or have an issue meeting people and making friends in their community. People are people, no matter where they live and their friendliness comes more from who they are, rather than where they are from.

[Porcelain]

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@reiki604 wrote:

I am a NYer my entire life and am disturbed by the stereotypes some have of us. This is even more true when I read the stories of some on this board who don't know or don't want to know their neighbors, are afraid to answer their front door, or have an issue meeting people and making friends in their community. People are people, no matter where they live and their friendliness comes more from who they are, rather than where they are from.

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The heart is the same, but the style does differ sometimes. What is normal conversation in one group can be considered rude or evasive in another. Stereotyping is bad, but sociology and anthropology are not.

[haddon9]

I think I'm pretty friendly! I grew up in Brooklyn, Queens & south Jersey.  I'm in PA now but close to the NJ border.  I didn't think I still had a NY accent but when I went to a new doctor recently he knew I was a native New Yorker by my accent....he also grew up in Brooklyn.

I've found people can be both friendly & rude in NY but it's true in small towns across the country.

[MarieIG]

HEY, I always say EXCUSE ME, as I am shoving my way on and off the subway during rush hour! Sheesh, what's your problem people?  Would you GET OFF MY FOOT PLEASE! Now, I can't hang around here all day, gonna be late - gotta go . . .  What, You want to go where?  Ok, pay attention - You'd better take the 2 train; the A is slow as dirt, no, THE 2 TRAIN...  No, that's uptown, you need to go downtown.  Hurry up, follow-me, it's this way, I'll point it out to you. . .