Community Chat

[Grouchomarx]

I am lonely and alone all the darn time. I have learned to deal with it relatively well. Mainly by watching tv (cable and Netflix) and watching YouTube videos with my headphones on.  I try to chat with my neighbors but not all of them like to chat. Last week my cable and internet were out for two whole days and on Friday, I nearly cried and had a panic attack wondering how I would survivie without my connection to the outside world. It was very stressful.  I would complain about it to anyone who would listen and they just didn't get it. Hope you are feeling better soon and you are not alone!  We are here for you.

[SouthernBee]

@halfpint1 : I feel for you and understand. Please you have been given great suggestions. Take action now and do something. Move to a better place. If you are not sleeping- you are mentally and physically exhausted, which adds to more medical and mental issues. Living in a better place will give you encouragement, energy and a desire to do so many other things to keep you busy and a brighter and positive attitude to focus on other things. Stop the pitty party, focus on a better life filled with fun, laughter and giggles. Never give up. Everyone has to deal with feeling of being scared and lonely but choose to make changes. Please do something now. 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️Southern Bee 

[SouthernBee]

@halfpint1 : Are you afraid to move because you would be leaving a special place with memories of your precious DH? I am handicapped and use a walking cane, can do light cooking, cleaning but need help. DH knows that I cannot live alone. He has told me: you will not be tied to house because of memories, our life together is inside our body, heart and mind and nothing can take them away. He has made me promise that if any thing happens to him that I will take necessary action to transition to a safer and better place to have help if and when necessary. No body likes any changes but we must deal with them and move forward. Southern Bee 

[halfpint1]

I appreciate you all answering me. I can not see me moving now while I can still walk and no major problems. It is a big project for anyone to move or sell furniture, clothes etc. My mother I had to put her in a convalescent hospital for she would wonder around and could be taken advantage of. Also I do not drive-never have.

[SouthernBee]

@halfpint1 : Yes , it is a big project to move but the sooner the better. If you move to an assisted living place- they provide any needed transportation plus other great features. I understand that you post to vent,but not interested in making any changes,  but you will still be alone, lonely and afraid. Tell your doctor everything. Your doctor can provide information on people that can help you prepare for necessary changes. Southern Bee 

[Anonymous032819]

@halfpint1 

Bottom line is, the question to ask yourself is, "Do I want to be lonely and scared all of the time? Or, do I want to be happy, relaxed and have my days filled with people and activities?"

Because, if you stay in your home, nothing will change.

Nothing.

The fear and loneliness will be your constant companions 24 hours  a day.

But, if you want to be happy, relaxed, and have your days filled with activities, to where you would seldom be bored, then you must find a place that provides that.

Yes, change can be scary, but just think of all of the wonderful possibilities that are just waiting for you to discover!

Wouldn't you rather come here and tell us about all of the FUN things that you have been doing?

Yes, moving is hard, but there are people for that.

We here on the boards can only do so much for you.

We can't take you out to eat.

We can't work a jig-saw puzzle with you.

We can't take you out for a drive.

There comes a point in time when you have to start helping yourself.

You are not helpless.

You can make the change, the change to be happier, more relaxed, more busy.

But you have to want to make that change.

So, the question is: Do you?

Do you want to be happier, more relaxed, and have your days filled with activities?

Or do you want to continue on being lonely and scared all of the time?

The answer is up to you.

[tansy]

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@halfpint1 wrote:

I appreciate you all answering me. I can not see me moving now while I can still walk and no major problems. It is a big project for anyone to move or sell furniture, clothes etc. My mother I had to put her in a convalescent hospital for she would wonder around and could be taken advantage of. Also I do not drive-never have.

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Moving will only get harder if you wait until your health takes a nosedive, @halfpint1.  

[Pqfan]

I deleted my original post because I was feeling sorry for myself.

I do feel lonely (it auto corrected to looney)😂

Sometimes I think I can do more to help myself with this  but I don’t.

I need to get out more. 

@halfpint1 I hope you are doing well.

[Sooner]

@halfpint1 We hope to encourage you that there is more to life than being lonely and afraid.  Because you can still walk, you might be surprised what you could do.  And what new things life can hold for you.

You are only 81 I think? You could live a very long time more and have a life without the fears and worries, with new places to walk, new people to say hi to, and the security of having things done for you and knowledge that if something happens people will be close enough to help you!

That's a lot to look forward to!  I have some moving tips.  Find a place your are comfortable with, take what YOU want and love to live with, and let the rest be sold out of sight and out of mind of you.  You walk away to a new and more secure life, and just leave it behind.

There are people and groups who would clean your current place out after you are gone.

Think about it, and think about what you might enjoy.  Make a list of the advantages.  I'll help you start:

1. People around if I get afraid--safety

2. Meals fixed and I can fix small meals and snacks maybe

3. Laundry done

4. Nice places to walk

5.  If you hear noises you don't worry

6. Shuttles to medical appointments and reminders

7. Help in finding lost items, fewer items to lose!

and there are many more!  We want you to be able to look forward to life, because I think you have a lot of it left!

[SouthernBee]

@Sooner : Very well stated and great suggestions. I have been busy purging and cleaning and looking forward to less stuff to deal with. Talked with friends yesterday, one 69 and spouse 71 with eyesight issues- really considering downsizing and know the packing and moving not something to look forward to but the sooner the better. They are still trying to do yard work. They realize safety and comfort and enjoying life more important than yard and house cleaning plus any house repairs. Southern Bee