Community Chat

[Sweet_Serenity]

Staying home, Not in the mood to be around people. Son and I the other day, Experienced huge! Situation. He went to a very low place with hurtful comments. So much so, Cancelled my trip. Make no mistake, I'am not feeling sorry for myself. Learned long ago, Stand up for principles. Enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts. Happy Thanksgiving.💗

[GusMo]

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@Annabellethecat66 wrote:

@GusMo I'm just the opposite.  I've always loved going to parties where I don't know many people.  My late husband was just the opposite.  He'd find someone he knew and hang with them all night.  I'd go off on my own and introduce myself to everyone and then bring them over to my husband to meet them.

I've met some amazing people that way.  Most people are nice and kind.  Everyone has a 'story' and likes talking about themselves.  If I miss anything about getting old(er) it's that I can't go out as often as I used to.  I love being around people.  I think they are fascinating and I love hearing their stories.  For some reason people tell me things that I don't think they'd normally talk about.  I've always had the feeling that people have a need to connect with others.  I don't spread tales or tell people's business I just enjoy listening to them.

I don't think you should feel like an afterthought.  You should think about their invitation that if they didn't want you there, they wouldn't invite you in the first place.  Often people feel 'weird' about saying, "you are welcome if you don't have anything else to do".  If you listen to that they are actually saying, "We realize we'd NOT be your first offer or maybe even your second choice but we'd love to be your second or third if you'd like to spend time with us.  I'm just saying you should look at it that way.  There's nothing saying they HAD to invite you.  You are doing what some people do.  You aren't giving yourself enough credit.  I'm sure you are probably good company and they'd like to spend time with you, that is why they invited you.  

Happy Thanksgiving.

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Oh, you are right! I think I have a bit of social anxiety. I understand and appreciate all you've said. Thanks for your reply. 

[chrystaltree]

I like to think that if I didn't have a family or spouse to spend my holidays with, I'd have a friend or two in similar circumstances and we'd have dinner together.  I can understand how one might not want to spend the day with someone else's family. 

[sandraskates]

This year it's just me and hubby. And I'm glad! I didn't want to schlep anywhere as I'll be working 4 hours at a stretch on skates on Friday and Saturday. So I'm looking forward to nice day at home.

Before I got married I'd done both: gone to friends homes for Thanksgiving and also spent the day by myself, usually watching figure skating! I didn't mind either way. The only thing I ever disliked was going to the home (usually with another relative) of someone I didn't that I really didn't like. And as I got older I'd turn those invitations down - and be much happier.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. And we may even bump into each other in this forum tomorrow. :-)

[Azcowgirl]

Just hubby and I this year, not cooking but going out. Thankful to be here another year ! 

Hugs and best to you all for a cozy day what ever you do tomorrow (:

[Mominohio]

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@momtochloe wrote:

To be honest, I spent countless holidays surrounded by a roomfull of people and never felt more alone.  I am not sad to be by myself during the holiday season as for me this is much better than where I used to be.

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I think many people feel exactly the same. They have a place to go or used to, and it really isn't very loving or inviting. My father died in 1979 and my mom never remarried or dated much (no one ever measured up to my dad). She always says there are things much worse than being alone.

[Pandalady]

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@BalletBabe wrote:

It is the night before Thanksgiving and none of us are alone!  We are here for each other.  How great is that?  Thanks to the Q for these forums.  

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@BalletBabe  Thank you for posting this.  I enjoy your posts. You have such a sweet spirit and I admire your strength with the loss of your husband this year.  God bless you, friend!Panda

[momtochloe]

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@Mominohio wrote:

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@momtochloe wrote:

To be honest, I spent countless holidays surrounded by a roomfull of people and never felt more alone.  I am not sad to be by myself during the holiday season as for me this is much better than where I used to be.

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I think many people feel exactly the same. They have a place to go or used to, and it really isn't very loving or inviting. My father died in 1979 and my mom never remarried or dated much (no one ever measured up to my dad). She always says there are things much worse than being alone.

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@Mominohio I am the youngest of siblings that are much older than I and because of this I have always been treated as the hired help.  I watched over my parents while my siblings lived their lives without engaging in what happens as parents grow older.  It's ok, it's over now and to be honest I cannot wait to taste my sweet potato casserole that I prepared in spite of the fact that I forgot to add the sugar and milk . . . ooopie . . .  

[Starpolisher]

I would just like to wish everyone a blessed and happy day no matter how you spend it!  

[qualitygal]

I'll have husband and son, but I haven't really been happy going into this holiday. I guess there's still a part of me not yet over our losing our little fur baby two months ago. There's a part of my heart missing. I just hope next year is better.