Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience

seaBreeze · ‎02-04-2014

@OKPrincess I couldn't agree with you more concerning entitlement. For me, I still believe Thank You's should be sent. I never receive one for showers either (one for either occasion would not be too much to ask from the bride). Some of the brides are my close cousin's children~!

ms traditional · ‎03-09-2010

@seaBreeze wrote:
@OKPrincess I couldn't agree with you more concerning entitlement. For me, I still believe Thank You's should be sent. I never receive one for showers either (one for either occasion would not be too much to ask from the bride). Some of the brides are my close cousin's children~!

@seaBreeze i have been known to pass on a disparaging word to relatives regarding the etiquette of their children! i let one missing thank-you note pass because after all things happen, people make a mistake. but when it comes to #2, i move to acknowledging an event with a card rather than a gift. somehow the message gets through- then. we live in a very un-thoughtful,gimme society and i am so glad i grew up in a different time. it is a good feeling to be grateful to be blessed with something beautiful or something needed knowing someone took the time to think of it and me.

Yardlie · ‎03-10-2010

@beach-mom ... I have not seen that per se; however, usually when you buy something off the registry, the item is taken off the registry. The couple then knows that somebody purchased it for them. I never heard of a store allowing people to list things from other stores on their registries. Maybe there is some site where you "build your own registry."

A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. ~~ Steve Maraboli

shoptheQ · ‎09-10-2010

Speaking to no "thank you" I attended a bridal shower given by my friend for her future daughter-in-law. The future bride never once said thank you after opening each gift or acknowleging the gift giver. Instead she said "ok what's next". My friend was mortified and sought out each guest to thank them herself. Later via mail we did receive pre printed, generic thank you notes with no mention of the actual gift received.

Witchy Woman · ‎03-15-2010

@shoptheQ

I had a similar experience.

In addition to a Target gift registry, the bride and groom were going to Disney World and had a variety of items you could choose to fund for their trip.

Everything was all priced out on their wedding website.

Of course, it would be up to them as to whether the actually used the money you gave for their trip, but I donated the airfare for their travel.

When I got married, I felt lucky to get a stand mixer

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

@Kachina624 wrote:
Next thing you know, they'll put a spin on the computer response to serve as a thank you note, absolving Jack and Jill of having to perform that boring chore.

Since the pop-up included a 'thank you', I wonder if that IS the thank you note...

I decline almost all wedding invitations, so the whole registry thing is usually not a problem (nor is concern about wardrobe...), but I rather think this idea for a registry makes some level of sense... Assuming, of course, that there's still some sort of personalized 'thank you'... I don't think the surprise factor with wedding gifts is particularly important...

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

Jordan2 · ‎03-16-2010

I actually think it's a good idea. This way they know who got what, no confusion if a card is separated from the gift. I also like when there is a registry for a couple, your not buying a duplicate present someone else might have purchased, also you know the couple will like the gift since they have chosen it themselves.

beach-mom · ‎03-09-2010

Thank you for all of your replies!

This was a clearing house-type registry. There were items from a lot of stores, including speciality and department stores and Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

I have no problem with the bride and groom knowing someone got them the gift; I just wish the site would wait until after the wedding to tell them who it is from. And the pop up didn't give me a choice! DD tells me the brides get on the site all of the time to check their list!

I have no trouble donating to a honeymoon either. When our former teenage babysitter got married we paid for a nice lunch at a restaurant in their honeymoon resort town. That's fine with me, but I WILL NOT donate cash for a new house! I've heard that is done; thank goodness we haven't experienced it yet.

I have also given checks. I usually do that when the couple has been living together for a while - one for seven years! In this case the couple have both been living with their families and are starting from scratch. She did have a small shower in another location with just her family and her wedding party. After the wedding they are moving to another town. I asked one of the moms about giving a check or a gift, since they would be moving. She said they were hoping to get things they had registered for.

DD is in a lot of weddings (two this summer) and she is attending some. She makes the couple a personalized picture frame. She has done that with all of her friends, and she plans to do it for this couple too.

Again, the thing that bothers me the most is that they will know we got the gifts before the wedding. I will wrap them and take them to the reception. But I can't help thinking - why wrap them?

I recently went to another bridal shower where the bride requested the gifts be unwrapped for the sake of time. I have no problem with this either. She took each gift out, displayed it, and thanked the giver. Most people, including me, had them in gift bags. In this case I ignored the registry and gave them what I had in mind for them!

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@OKPrincess wrote:
Welcome to the entitled expected generation. The entitled generation expects a big lavish wedding, expensive impractical lavish gift list (what happened to pots and pans, dishes, sheets and towels), and help with over-the-top honeymoons.

Everything in life so far has been handed to this generation so why stop now? Along the way they weren’t taught proper etiquette, hand-written thank you notes, etc.

Where were these entitlements and expectations way back in the good old days?

Broad brush. That may be your encounters but certainly not mine.

I guess I am lucky because our circle of friends and the young people I know are the antithesis of what you are describing.

RetRN · ‎10-01-2013

@OKPrincess wrote:
Welcome to the entitled expected generation. The entitled generation expects a big lavish wedding, expensive impractical lavish gift list (what happened to pots and pans, dishes, sheets and towels), and help with over-the-top honeymoons.

Everything in life so far has been handed to this generation so why stop now? Along the way they weren’t taught proper etiquette, hand-written thank you notes, etc.

Where were these entitlements and expectations way back in the good old days?

It is sad how times have changed. I have heard so many people express what you said so well in your post.