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09-14-2019 07:33 AM
It took me a long time to learn finally that I truly don't want to be in some competitions. One of them is the gift-giving battle.
I give what makes sense to me at the time I'm giving. What someone else plans to spend to put on their wedding isn't my decision, so I just don't think that should determine my gift.
09-14-2019 07:46 AM
If it were me, the registry gift would be sufficient.
09-14-2019 07:48 AM
We were recently invited to a wedding of a friends daughter who we don’t really know...we did not attend as it was out of state, dh is good friends with the brides father. He was going to be seeing him in person, so he brought the gift with him, it was a check and I let him fill it out, big mistake...he gave them 200.00..I was not pleased, should’ve filled it out myself, lesson learned.🙄
09-14-2019 07:58 AM
@beach-mom wrote:
DD wants to give them $100 in cash. She got them a gift for their shower from their registry, but there wasn't much left to choose from after that. I think that's too much. I told her I would give $50-75. I think $100 is OK when the bride or groom is a close friend. She tells me I don't get it. She says you have to "pay for your plate." I think that's ridiculous. You should give what you want.
I deleted a lot of the original post.
She will be giving what she wants.
Is she going solo or bringing a date? JMO, if she's bringing a date $100 isn't enough.
09-14-2019 08:09 AM
If DH and I go to a wedding we usually give $200.00. If it's someone who is very close like a relative we'll give more. If we can't attend and it's not a relative or very close friend I'll give $100.00.
Both my son & daughter have gone to a LOT of weddings since graduating from college. As a matter of fact my DD and her boyfriend flew out to San Francisco from the east coast yesterday for a wedding this weekend. They will be making a small vacation out of it. Now I'm curious as to how much they will be giving (will have to ask when I can) since airfare & hotel are not cheap!
My son who is single usually gives $100.00 but as a guy (showers still tend to be women only) doens't spend on a shower gift. I think your daughter should give what she wants....$100.00 is fine. However you never mentioned what she spent on a shower gift. I would not have bothered with one if I weren't going to the shower & wasn't close to the person since a wedding gift would have been sufficient in my opinion.
Just because she's invited to a destination bachelortte party doesn't mean she must go! ...of course if she wants to & has the funds then that's different.
09-14-2019 08:09 AM
Check out the site theweddingenvelope.com.
09-14-2019 08:24 AM
09-14-2019 08:43 AM
@NYC Susan I agree with you. I would not give less than $200, especially with the history she has with the family.
09-14-2019 08:44 AM - edited 09-14-2019 08:51 AM
A One Hundred Dollar gift for the wedding sounds fine to me.
From her response it appears that your daughter might be embarrassed by giving a smaller gift. I'm not saying that she should be, but that is the way it
sounds, and she is the one who is working there.
The destination bachelorette party is another story . . . That sounds like credit card debt to me. And, if she can't afford that she should say so ahead of time.
09-14-2019 09:34 AM
@CelticCrafter wrote:
@beach-mom wrote:
DD wants to give them $100 in cash. She got them a gift for their shower from their registry, but there wasn't much left to choose from after that. I think that's too much. I told her I would give $50-75. I think $100 is OK when the bride or groom is a close friend. She tells me I don't get it. She says you have to "pay for your plate." I think that's ridiculous. You should give what you want.
I deleted a lot of the original post.
She will be giving what she wants.
Is she going solo or bringing a date? JMO, if she's bringing a date $100 isn't enough.
@CelticCrafter Why not? How does bringing a date change the amount of the gift given from one friend to another?
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