Another Question about How Much Cash for Wedding G... - Page 2

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

I think if it’s her money she should give what she wants to give. But I would ask her...if this is what she thinks is appropriate for a part-time coworker, what would she consider appropriate for a lifelong friend?

I first heard of the “pay for the plate” idea here a few years ago and I’ve never heard of it elsewhere. I think that idea is a bunch of cr*p. Why do people think they have to buy into it?

eta..If she thinks she needs to give $100 for her plate, I wonder if she would give $200 if she was going with a plus one.

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Keepin' it real.

SahmIam · ‎04-16-2010

@beach-mom I now have a child that is attending the weddings (and parties) of friends who are getting married. DH and I have this rule:

"If you are spending YOUR money, it's YOUR call. If you are spending OUR money, it's OUR call. Just remember, choosing to spend YOUR money does NOT mean you can then come to US to help YOU out financially."

That last sentence has caused him to take pause many a time when a wedding involved traveling, expensive parties and/or a lavish gift registry.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

I think people ought to just stop going. I mean really, if you are expected to foot the bill for your night out, go somewhere you want to go.

Yes it is absurd now days and a racket! Especially the ones where working people are expected to forfeit their time and money for a vacation.

speedy girl · ‎06-03-2018

I think 100 is to much for someone who is just a co worker and not a friend outside of work. Plus if your daughter only works part time, then I think 50 is fine. I agree with you.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

The amount of money that people give can vary greatly depending on where they live. There are vast regional differences. $100 might sound like a lot in some areas, and pretty typical or not very much at all in others.

I have hosted several weddings and I have attended many (all over the country and all over the world), and the idea that guests have to "pay for their plate" is not anything I've ever heard of anyone expecting. There was a thread about this here a few years ago, and several posters insisted it was a NY-area thing. I can assure you it is not!

Bottom line for me is that people should give what they want to give, taking "usual amounts" into account or not. And of course no one should give more than they can comfortably afford. It's a personal decision, and I wouldn't tell my adult children how much to give unless they specifically asked for my input. Even then, the decision is theirs.

stellabystarlight · ‎03-31-2010

My sister and her husband attended the wedding of my sister's best friend's son at a New York City venue. They gave the bride and groom $500 because they love the son and also to cover the cost of the meal. It is pretty much standard in New York and the metropolitan area of Connecticut and New Jersey. She also was invited to the bride's shower and gave her a lovely gift. Bottom line is: Give what you can afford. No one will turn you away and will appreciate your gift.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@stellabystarlight wrote:
My sister and her husband attended the wedding of my sister's best friend's son at a New York City venue. They gave the bride and groom $500 because they love the son and also to cover the cost of the meal. It is pretty much standard in New York and the metropolitan area of Connecticut and New Jersey. She also was invited to the bride's shower and gave her a lovely gift. Bottom line is: Give what you can afford. No one will turn you away and will appreciate your gift.

No it is not!

If a particular bride and groom had that expectation, that's one thing. But it absolutely is not prevalent or "standard" in the tri-state area.

jackthebear · ‎03-11-2010

pay for your plate an old fashioned idea

should give what you can afford

I wouldn't expect a kid working a part-time job to giving that much of a gift to anyone,

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@kitcat51 wrote:
Your daughter is spot on...$100.00 is the perfect amount.

@kitcat51 I agree. She has a history with this family going back to high school, $50 looks cheap. I understand what is being said about the bride and their relationship but this goes back to the grandparents. I have been to many weddings where I don't even know the couple but know the parents. I go against what I want to give and give what I should give.

jerseygirl1948 · ‎10-06-2012

I think you will get different replies here. The people that are working and the people that are on fixed incomes will give different amounts.

First, I feel that you give what you can afford. As far as paying for the plate I also feel that guests should not have to pay for their dinners if the couple decide to go for a pricey dinner and the couple should not expect them to.

My grandniece is getting married next year and they decided to just go with an extended cocktail hour which I feel is smart since they are like dinners anyway.

I am single now and on a fixed incomne. So, I feel $50 for her is what I am going to give. I don't think people should feel like they have to give a higher amount than what they can afford. And if you decide not to go well then I would give less.