ARE YOU READY?

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

1. I want to be like a caterpillar.

Eat a lot

Sleep for awhile

Wake up beautiful.

2. I really hate it when the voices in my head argue among themselves as though I wasn't even in the room.

3. Do you ever have a plan for the day and suddenly it's 5 PM and you have achieved literally nothing?

4. "Wow you're short." "...no, really? I never noticed."

5. Did you know there's an APP on your phone that makes you look ugly? It's called a camera.

6. Dear Santa,

This year all I ask for is a Big Fat Bank Account and a Slim Body. Please, don't m ix up the two like you did last year.

7. I think I'm going to write a book...How To Understand Women, by Kevin. You can't. "The End."

8. Husband to wife: Today is a fine day. Next day he says; Today is a fine day. Again the next day, he says the same thing, Today is a fine day.

Finally after a week, the wife can't take it and asks her husband: For one week you keep saying,, "Today is going to be a fine day" I am fed up, what is the problem?

Husband: Last week when we had an argument, you said, "I will leave you one fine day. I was just trying to remind you."

9. I'm going to stand outside. So, if anyone asks, I'm outstanding.

10. All I heard was, " I swear it will be funny"...And then we were in jail.

11. Funny, those road signs: "Caution - Watch for children!" I mean, how dangerous can a child be?

12. I may not be the most important person in your life...I just hope when you hear my name, you smile and say, "That's my friend."

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

phoenixbrd · ‎03-27-2010

so cute....love the laughs. Thanks LG

spiderw · ‎06-14-2010

Another entertaining post, Lindsays Grandma! I find number 3 to be most true for me and I love number 12. All in all each saying is uplifting and food for thought or funny. Thanks for your post!