Community Chat

[Lindsays Grandma]

This was sent to me from a friend and after reading it I decided to share it with all of you...

Mirror, mirror on the wall...

It does not matter if I'm short or tall...

If I have skinny legs or my hips are too wide...

It only matters who I am inside...

Blue eyes, brown eyes, black or green...

What makes me the most beautiful cannot be seen...

When you look at me, don't judge me by my parts...

The most beautiful thing about me is in my heart.

[maximillian]

Terrific advice; especially for our teen-age daughters and acquaintances, but even younger girls.

[mom2four0418]

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@maximillian wrote:

Terrific advice; especially for our teen-age daughters and acquaintances, but even younger girls.

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This message should be given to girls and boys!

[Equuleus]

They should be told.  But unfortunately their own parent or parents are the ones who do the damage.  So as women we all should be a good support person for any girl.  A neighbor, a niece, cousin, friend, mother ... any woman. 

[dooBdoo]

            Thank you for posting this, @Lindsays Grandma!❤️  I will copy it and share it with my family and friends. 

            It reminds me of a father's letter to his daughter that was posted here several years ago (I’m sorry, I can’t recall who posted it) — his letter isn’t perfect, for sure, but I think it’s important food for thought and a “jumping off place” in addition to yours for an interesting conversation and even a debate.   I'll copy it and post it here.    

           Thanks, again, for this thread!

[dooBdoo]

"Dear Little One,   As I write this, I’m sitting in the makeup aisle of our local Target store.   A friend recently texted me from a different makeup aisle and told me it felt like one of the most oppressive places in the world.   I wanted to find out what he meant.   

And now that I’m sitting here, I’m beginning to agree with him.   Words have power, and the words on display in this aisle have a deep power.   Words and phrases like:

Affordably gorgeous,

Infallible,
Flawless finish,
Brilliant strength,
Liquid power,
Go nude,
Age defying,
Instant age rewind,
Choose your dream,
Nearly naked, and
Natural beauty.

When you have a daughter you start to realize she’s just as strong as everyone else in the house—a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as anyone.   But sitting in this store aisle, you also begin to realize many people won’t see her that way.   They’ll see her as a pretty face and a body to enjoy.   And they’ll tell her she has to look a certain way to have any worth or influence.

But words do have power and maybe, just maybe, the words of a father can begin to compete with the words of the world.   Maybe a father’s words can deliver his daughter through this gauntlet of institutionalized shame and into a deep, unshakeable sense of her own worthiness and beauty.

A father’s words aren’t different words, but they are words with a radically different meaning:

Brilliant strength.   May your strength be not in your fingernails but in your heart.   May you discern in your center who you are, and then may you fearfully but tenaciously live it out in the world.

Choose your dream.   But not from a department store shelf.   Find the still-quiet place within you.   A real dream has been planted there.   Discover what you want to do in the world.   And when you have chosen, may you faithfully pursue it, with integrity and with hope.

Naked.   The world wants you to take your clothes off.   Please keep them on.   But take your gloves off.   Pull no punches.   Say what is in your heart.   Be vulnerable.   Embrace risk.   Love a world that barely knows what it means to love itself.   Do so nakedly.   Openly.   With abandon.

Infallible.   May you be constantly, infallibly aware that infallibility doesn’t exist.   It’s an illusion created by people interested in your wallet.   If you choose to seek perfection, may it be in an infallible grace—for yourself, and for everyone around you.

Age defying.   Your skin will wrinkle and your youth will fade, but your soul is ageless.   It will always know how to play and how to enjoy and how to revel in this one-chance life.   May you always defiantly resist the aging of your spirit.

Flawless finish.   Your finish has nothing to do with how your face looks today and everything to do with how your life looks on your last day.   May your years be a preparation for that day.   May you be aged by grace, may you grow in wisdom, and may your love become big enough to embrace all people.   May your flawless finish be a peaceful embrace of the end and the unknown that follows, and may it thus be a gift to everyone who cherishes you.

Little One, you love everything pink and frilly and I will surely understand if someday makeup is important to you.   But I pray three words will remain more important to you—the last three words you say every night, when I ask the question:   “Where are you the most beautiful?”   Three words so bright no concealer can cover them.

Where are you the most beautiful?

On the inside.

From my heart to yours,

Daddy"

"Words From a Father to His Daughter (From the Makeup Aisle)"

by Kelly Flanagan​ Ph.D. and Father​

January 2014

[RealtyGal2]

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@Equuleus wrote:

They should be told.  But unfortunately their own parent or parents are the ones who do the damage.  So as women we all should be a good support person for any girl.  A neighbor, a niece, cousin, friend, mother ... any woman. 

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I totally agree. My Mother thinks that beause we are close that she can tell me that I am overweight (as though I am not aware of this) and "should lose weight because I am such a pretty girl when I am thinner".  I have told her multiple times that it is not okay to talk to me about my weight and that the subject is hurtful and off limits. I have pointed out to her that I am fully aware of my weight and I am doing the best that I can. I am always supportive and complimentary of her appearance and never criticize her. She has always been overly concerned about what other people think. I have had to deal with this my whole life and personally don't care what other people think about my appearance although I do dress fashionably and appropriately. I know she is coming from a good place, but I am 70 years old and it is unlikely at this point that I will either become a super model or find Prince Charming (not looking and not interested - too high maintenance). She won't wear bright colors because she thinks people will talk. She is 96 and I have told her that at this point she should be able to do whatever she wants. She tries to enforce her opinions on my nieces, 13 and 20, as well and I have to pull her aside and explain that if she wants them to want to be around her, she nneds to be respectful of today's fashions for their age groups.

[RealtyGal2]

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@dooBdoo wrote:

"Dear Little One,   As I write this, I’m sitting in the makeup aisle of our local Target store.   A friend recently texted me from a different makeup aisle and told me it felt like one of the most oppressive places in the world.   I wanted to find out what he meant.   

And now that I’m sitting here, I’m beginning to agree with him.   Words have power, and the words on display in this aisle have a deep power.   Words and phrases like:

Affordably gorgeous,

Infallible,
Flawless finish,
Brilliant strength,
Liquid power,
Go nude,
Age defying,
Instant age rewind,
Choose your dream,
Nearly naked, and
Natural beauty.

When you have a daughter you start to realize she’s just as strong as everyone else in the house—a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as anyone.   But sitting in this store aisle, you also begin to realize many people won’t see her that way.   They’ll see her as a pretty face and a body to enjoy.   And they’ll tell her she has to look a certain way to have any worth or influence.

But words do have power and maybe, just maybe, the words of a father can begin to compete with the words of the world.   Maybe a father’s words can deliver his daughter through this gauntlet of institutionalized shame and into a deep, unshakeable sense of her own worthiness and beauty.

A father’s words aren’t different words, but they are words with a radically different meaning:

Brilliant strength.   May your strength be not in your fingernails but in your heart.   May you discern in your center who you are, and then may you fearfully but tenaciously live it out in the world.

Choose your dream.   But not from a department store shelf.   Find the still-quiet place within you.   A real dream has been planted there.   Discover what you want to do in the world.   And when you have chosen, may you faithfully pursue it, with integrity and with hope.

Naked.   The world wants you to take your clothes off.   Please keep them on.   But take your gloves off.   Pull no punches.   Say what is in your heart.   Be vulnerable.   Embrace risk.   Love a world that barely knows what it means to love itself.   Do so nakedly.   Openly.   With abandon.

Infallible.   May you be constantly, infallibly aware that infallibility doesn’t exist.   It’s an illusion created by people interested in your wallet.   If you choose to seek perfection, may it be in an infallible grace—for yourself, and for everyone around you.

Age defying.   Your skin will wrinkle and your youth will fade, but your soul is ageless.   It will always know how to play and how to enjoy and how to revel in this one-chance life.   May you always defiantly resist the aging of your spirit.

Flawless finish.   Your finish has nothing to do with how your face looks today and everything to do with how your life looks on your last day.   May your years be a preparation for that day.   May you be aged by grace, may you grow in wisdom, and may your love become big enough to embrace all people.   May your flawless finish be a peaceful embrace of the end and the unknown that follows, and may it thus be a gift to everyone who cherishes you.

Little One, you love everything pink and frilly and I will surely understand if someday makeup is important to you.   But I pray three words will remain more important to you—the last three words you say every night, when I ask the question:   “Where are you the most beautiful?”   Three words so bright no concealer can cover them.

Where are you the most beautiful?

On the inside.

From my heart to yours,

Daddy"

"Words From a Father to His Daughter (From the Makeup Aisle)"

by Kelly Flanagan​ Ph.D. and Father​

January 2014

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Thank you for this!

[dooBdoo]

(((@Equuleus))) and (((@RealtyGal2)))

~hugs❤️

[kitcat51]

My granddaughters already know this but they aren't naive, they know pretty matters. As far as supporting all women just because they're women, NO...I support by character not body parts.