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Registered: ‎12-27-2010

Mani/pedi is always a lift, pampering.

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@KatCat1 

 

 

Oh Godiva's.   My favorite.  I wouldn't share either.  Well, maybe the ones that aren't my favorites.  Smiley Wink

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When we get a request like this, I have found going through my pictures and finding pictures of the birthday person and their friends and family are always accepted with much pleasure. You could create an album for her

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Why do people think they know better than the person who specifically asked for "no gifts".  I will leave it at that

Don't be so afraid of dying that you forget how to live.
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Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: 95th Birthday Invite

[ Edited ]

This question comes up frequently and I can't wrap my head around it.  I just find it  disrespectful.  The lady is 95 and she is in a convalescent home  and the last thing she wants is more "stuff", she wasn't want whatever it is you think you want to buy her.  She wants to be celebrated, she wants her family and friends and cake and all the wonderful things that go with birthday party.  So, give her that.  Give her a beautiful card with a heartfelt message inside. I understand that you and your DH have fear that everyone else will show up with gifts and you'll be the only ones with one.  But that is not going to happen, the people who love her will respect her wishes.  

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

Why do people think they know better than the person who specifically asked for "no gifts".  I will leave it at that


exactly, this comes up constantly here

 

last thing they need at a nursing home is more stuff to have deal with. 

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@jackthebear wrote:

@CrazyDaisy wrote:

Why do people think they know better than the person who specifically asked for "no gifts".  I will leave it at that


exactly, this comes up constantly here

 

last thing they need at a nursing home is more stuff to have deal with. 

 

You are 100% correct about that.  And not just nursing homes, hospitals too.  The only thing that marred my hospital stay when I had my TKR was my roommate's visitors.  She was lovely woman, we were both going to be in for just 3 days.  For some odd reason, all of her visitors showed up with flowers, plants, stuffed animals. One person even bought her a throw.  She said she told people not to bring flowers but they did anyway....flowers and other stuff.    The room was small and during the info sessions, we were specifically told to tell our family and friends NOT bring all that stuff since which would just clutter the room.  I had the window side of the room and one of her guests got testy when I wouldn't let her put stuff on the window sill.  You gotta love experienced nurses.  One sized up the situation and when the woman'd daughter came, she swooped some stuff into those big plastic bags and told the daughter to take the flowers and other stuff home since her mother was going to be discharged in a day or two.  My hubby is an RN and he said he would have done the same thing.       


 

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The aunt is 95.  I can't imagine there is anything she needs or really wants.  Anything you give her the family will be left with so you really need to think about them as well.

 

If YOU feel the need to go against the wish of the invite, do something for the Home.  Call them and see if there is something they are in need of.

 

 

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PLEASE DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING TO SOMEONE WHO ASKS YOU NOT TO BRING A GIFT!

 

I am sorry to say this but to me it is the height of rudeness.  You are going to "honor" someone by going against their wishes?  Yes, it is difficult.  You may look bad to others, but if you can't honor a request, don't go.

 

Partly I'm saying this because many people do not need stuff, do not want stuff, and it is a burden to them to get stuff they don't want and feel bad about throwing in the trash.

 

Also, anyone in a nursing home or such often does NOT have room for more stuff.  They barely have room for the basics they need.

 

Sorry--years and years of frustration and having to deal with my stuff and so many other people's stuff coming out here.  Yes, I have a "thing" and a bad attitude!! I'll admit it.Woman Frustrated  I hope I didn't hurt too many feelings--not my intent.  However I probably did.  I've just had to deal with this for 25 years. . . 

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I like flowers for the home idea with a Happy Birthday card. I took a friend in for knee surgery  at Christmas time and they had a pretty blue pointsetta at the nurses station. I thought it cheered up the wing. Flowers don't have to be around a long time. It used to be churches sent in the funeral flowers to homes and the residents knew where they came from so often. Some residents are diabetic so I would keep the candy monitored in her room ,perhaps. 

 

Having both worked in Assisted Living and a Father in one I really liked the fruit trays with choc. covered strawberries and fresh pineapple  and grapes etc.out for everyone. One family brought those in for a party. Sometimes we were so busy we did not have time to eat or eat well.