Beauty

[DoneTryin]

On 8/31/2014 deerslayer49 said: I don't suggest any "warm and fuzzy" heart to heart conversation about the situation. She's obviously got an agenda set at your expense, and my guess is that it's more of a priority than improving her relationship with you. Like I said, a problematic situation, if it doesn't already exist, must be manufactured, so she can rush to the rescue, be brilliant and solve it, thus proving her worth and creating potential for the next step up. Irrational anger at hearing any suggestions from you is a sure sign of disdain, for whatever reason, perhaps your age, who knows. It doesn't matter. What matters is you recognize what's happening, figure out how to blend into the woodwork until you're ready to go on your own terms, and leave her to her own machinations.

Well said!

[151949]

When i was about 50 I was working at a job I absolutely detested. My employer had sent me there to help get the open heart surgery program up and running but the manager was not even an RN - she had come from the business /administrative end of hospital and she was truly clueless about running a hospital unit. I think she was an experiment! Anyway, when I was still there after a year and a half - and the program was still floundering - I called the supervisor who had talked me into going there and told her bring me back right now or accept my resignation.They brought me back "home" immediately. This manager called me into her office to discuss what was wrong and why i was leaving when she still needed her "head" open heart nurse. I explained it to her as nicely as I could and she asked if I would stay a while longer - - I answered that I'd rather sell pencils on a corner in the snow than work there another day. She became very insulted, and told me she had influence and I could kiss my career goodbye. Well, i left and went back to my previous job that I really liked and shortly after that the surgeon that was trying to get the program going at that hospital left and she was let go.

The lesson in all this is to always be certain before you assert yourself where you stand.Thank goodness for me I was on firm ground. Also, never leave a job unless you have another already.

[KateChopin]

HAHA! Love this!

I don't exactly fit your criteria, but I do know exactly what you mean. I tell my own kids that if they do this to their "elders" I will find them and make them pay!

Agism is alive an well, and you don't have to be 60.

I, too, had a supervisor with little or no experience, but who "knew" someone and had an online degree that her spouse "helped" her with. I have the same degrees, but loved my position and eschewed going up the ladder.

She acted like I had fallen off the corn truck. "DO YOU HAVE EMAIL?" she asked me once. My mouth dropped open. Was she kidding? Others around me who know that my abilities go beyond email--- and know that I am quite tech savvy---and have all my faculties, and was born in the last century, not the one before, cracked up!

When I was out for major surgery, she asked me for some senseless paperwork the minute I returned without any questions about how I was doing. When her husband had minor surgery, they acted like he had endured a heart transplant.

But now, I have found a way to avoid her, and I am deleriously happy! And I must admit, I lost respect for my place of business for hiring a dolt like her.

[RinaRina]

On 9/1/2014 KateChopin said:

HAHA! Love this!

I, too, had a supervisor with little or no experience,

She acted like I had fallen off the corn truck. "DO YOU HAVE EMAIL?" she asked me once. My mouth dropped open. Was she kidding? ---

How condescending, rude and nasty! This is such a demotivating experience for me. Takes all the JOY out of the job.

[RinaRina]

On 8/31/2014 rina33 said:

Hi girlz,

I'll keep it brief. I work part-time in a female-dominated field, so most of the people I work with are women, most of whom I can't stand. My supervisor is 27 yrs. younger than I am and treats me like a baby .. micromanaging & watching everything I do. She's got this whiny, "valley girl voice" that irritates me to no end (Kourtney Kardashian). Plus, she's condescending and manipulative. Whenever I make suggestions to her regarding work, she wants to argue. Yesterday, she became so hostile about one of my ideas, I just wanted to walk out and never go back. Would you look for another job? I'm thinking of just retiring and calling it quits. But THAT would end my shopping sprees. Oh noooo!

UPDATE:

OMG! She did it again! I don't know how much more of this I can stand.

Without disclosing specifically what I do, occasionally, I go out to public places and sign up people for memberships. Last Wednesday, the aforementioned young supervisor emailed me & asked if she could "do" anything to help me. I emailed her back & told her I just needed a stack of applications & membership cards, with no paper clips, because I can process them faster without the paperclips. When I arrived at the office, she got mad and started screaming at me that EVERYONE has the cards paper-clipped to their applications and we ALL have to do them the same way.. (Never mind that the paperclips are removed before the applications are filled out!)

I went to HER supervisor and complained. Her supervisor insisted the 3 of us sit down and "discuss" it. It was not pleasant. Paperclips!

Ridiculous! I was furious!

[MomCat]

This is why it is best to plan for early retirement and go work at something you can enjoy instead. This friction exists at most companies. I consider it the changing of the guard. I'm sure I made some people sick too when I was a young manager fighting my way to the top. I wondered why those "old" people were still there taking up space. Lol I guess that's what made me plan ahead so I wouldn't be one of those people in the future. And, it was a good choice since I'm realizing that as I get older I can no longer put up with people's nonsense. Hang in there if you must, but take the advice offered here - be quiet. Really quiet. Or, if you can't do it, find your second wind and stand up to anyone who gets in your way. Your choice, and either one is good. Good luck. You'll be fine.

[Meowingkitty]

I got laid off in July and I am going to be 59 in October. Could not be happier. I hated every day with that company. I am not looking for another job. I feel that I am willing to give up my shopping habit for the joys of staying home with my fur babies and husband. If I never have to see the inside of corporate America ever again it is worth it not to buy more purses, shoes and stuff that I really don't need. I am enjoying doing what I want. If you don't need to work find a way not to. I also just gave up on doing any more than I absolutely had to. The company had not given raises since 2008, management was very into micromanaging every minute of every day. It was a very toxic environment and getting laid off was the best thing that could happen. As of today there are many others my age or a few years older just waiting to get laid off. They would be stupid to give up a severance package after years of suffering. I am enjoying going to water aerobics every day, Decluttering my house, doing jigsaw puzzles and just knowing I am away from that horrible company. My job was nothing more than a glorified data entry clerk, very boring and no chance of a promotion unless I wanted to uproot us and move across country. They finally announced that they were closing down our location and moving the jobs to New York and I was welcome to move. Of course there was no more money to compensate higher cost of living and I would have had to pay the moving expenses out of my pocket. Now you see why I never want to see the inside of corporate America again. Do what is right for you but when you leave the working world you find other things to do that don't involve shopping.

[Susan25]

On 8/31/2014 Hi Cindy said:

I did call it quits at 60 (banking). They kept reshuffling the department and giving me new people to train. Once the trainees were "up and running" successfully, they were up and out and couldn't actually help me to do real work. Then it started all over again. Aggghhhh..

My coping mechanisms were watching QVC while getting ready for work and planning a cute outfit to buy or what make-up item I wanted as a reward. Also, I packed a lunch and took a walk during my lunch 45 minutes and avoided the lunch room and the gossip at all costs. I made an effort not to voice my complaints. I had a couple of real pals at work and that helped.

My blood pressure dropped significantly when I left. That stress was real. The problem with mature people is we know too much and we know what's wrong with the system. And the insecure people (often the boss) know that we know. I quit having brilliant ideas and just went with the flow till I flew out the door.

Very interesting. What are you doing now? I can't imagine ever quitting a job considering how difficult it is to find another position. I know so many people that have been laid off and it took them many months to find a new opportunity.

[Drythe]

On 8/31/2014 spenditallbaby said:

Your supervisor sounds like an insecure control freak and empire builder, so why continue to make suggestions? If you can't walk, just try to tough it out until your time is up there. That's what I did. I walked in that day and quit on the spot, burning every bridge behind me. That was decades ago, and it ultimately became one of the best decisions in my life.

And when I quit that day, it was because I had already started my own business and am still happily self-employed. By the way, I'm now in your demographic.

Me too, and I'm not in your demographic.

In re a comment above, my low self esteem, self aggrandizing, empire building supervisor replaced someone who was THE leader in my field. What a shock! She would ask me for suggestions for problems she wasn't educated enough to articulate. When asked 'What do you think?' hoping to discover just what she was talking about, her standard answer was, 'I don't want to give MY ideas FIRST because it might bias YOUR input.' Really? You don't want to voice your ideas because you have none.

I also started my own business before I left and am loving everyday!

[RinaRina]

On 9/24/2014 momcat said:

This is why it is best to plan for early retirement and go work at something you can enjoy instead.

I've always done work I enjoy. This was my 4th career and was supposed to be my LAST (part-time 20 hrs/wk.) . I've only been there 3.5 yrs. and LOVE the work. But this young gal obviously finds me a threat. How pathetic.