@dogsx3 I do not know how old your Husband is.... but sometimes personality changes... childish... forgetful... even mean ....which are not the usual personality could mean signs of demensia....
Yes, i have thought of that, because his mom has it now and his grandmother had it also. It does scare me, the thoght of dealing with that. He is 62
@dogsx3 Perhaps he is also fearful of the same thing. Have you talked about the possibility and how you would handle it for/with him if the marriage is saved? What do you plan to do in the event of your own future health problems? It would be ideal if the marriage could be salvaged and both of you could rely upon each other to grow old together.
Most couples share in helping their in-laws, if necessary. Then make the decision for Independent Living, Assisted Living and/or Skilled Care. I made those decisions for my in-laws (who were out-of-state) following my husband's death, as well as for my own parents. I didn't ask my son to become the "sandwich generation" and become responsible for his own family as well as his grandparents and/or me. Plans for my own care have been in place for many years (financially and legally). Have you addressed those issues?
Make sure all your legal documents are updated at all times for your children!
Have you begun volunteer work in an attempt to meet other people and expand your horizons? Do you attend seminars in your community? What about politics or church or community events to meet new people?
Sounds like your husband attended a class reunion by himself and, as a result has been calling an old friend. Why didn't you go with him? You may have had a great time! He is a lonely man and needs a wife who is willing to be a life-long companion. Have you put him as #1 throughout your marriage? It sounds as if he was the financial means for you to become a stay-at-home mom with the kids as your #1 priority. A marriage is doomed with that kind of thinking. Didn't you communicate with your husband at all throughout the marriage? Have you always lived married life the way you wanted to suit your needs and desires?
Perhaps it's time to think of your husband's thoughts, dreams, needs and companionship in life. He is/was part of that marriage. It does take two! He was also responsible for raising those great children . . . and deserves credit, as well! Give the man some compassion, courtesy and kindness. It would probably go a very long way.
Parenting is a rewarding time of life and brings us more joy than anticipated. However, we cannot live our lives through our children and their accomplishments. Your children are now adults and perhaps will marry, have families of their own in addition to their careers. Do you expect them to care for you (and your husband) as you both age? It's not fair to them to become caught in the middle, again.
Stay in counseling. You need to think long and hard before making such a change in lifestyle, which you know nothing about. If you haven't begun by making new changes, begin now by enriching yourself both mentally, emotionally and financially. Learn how to survive alone. It's not easy at any age, but 60 (with health problems) would be problematic if not ready to tackle the world like a lioness.
You are the only one responsible for happiness in your life; not your parents, your husband or your children. Happiness comes from within.
Money screams; wealth whispers.
Blogs & Forums
