Among Friends

[NicksmomESQ]

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@Anonymous032819 wrote:

A daughter is a daughter all her life.

A son is a son, until he takes a wife.

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 @Anonymous032819   I heard that my whole life. I was worried that I would lose my son someday.But my future DIL is wonderful.She includes me in every decision.She sends me texts everyday telling me how much she loves me. She thanks me for raising such a wonderful son.

   My son is very devoted to us.He found a girl with similar values.Our two families are like one. We have become one happy blended family .

   I think mutual respect & acceptance is the key.

[mom2four0418]

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@NicksmomESQ wrote:

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@Anonymous032819 wrote:

A daughter is a daughter all her life.

A son is a son, until he takes a wife.

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 @Anonymous032819   I heard that my whole life. I was worried that I would lose my son someday.But my future DIL is wonderful.She includes me in every decision.She sends me texts everyday telling me how much she loves me. She thanks me for raising such a wonderful son.

   My son is very devoted to us.He found a girl with similar values.Our two families are like one. We have become one happy blended family .

   I think mutual respect & acceptance is the key.

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I could have written this post! Nothing has changed between my son and I and I have gained a daughter. We often laugh about the bad rap that "in-laws" receive. 

[Desert Lily]

How unfortunate that the sister ran next door to gossip and complain about her. She likely called her sister because she felt close to her and felt she could trust her to keep her confidence, rather than have the situation now discussed by strangers who can only respond to what was posted and risk assumptions and conjecture. The sister could have made other choices. If she wanted to involve herself, instead of running to her neighbor, she could have called the engaged couple and tried to resolve the issue which could help their relationship and quash her sister's anxiety. No one knows whether the mother had any inkling about when she should buy a dress. She could have been extremely excited that her son was going to marry someone wonderful whom she's known for years and bought a dress in positive anticipation. None of us knows what her feelings are or what actually happened. I believe most people deserve a 2nd chance, and in this instance I include both sisters. 

[GingerPeach]

Are these folks related to the woman with the purple/gray kitchen?

[CelticCrafter]

I never heard of a bride telling the mothers what color they had to wear.

That's a little too much control.

I did ask my daughter what color dresses the bridal party would be wearing and I did ask her future mother-in-law what color she wanted to wear.

Those were the only two discussions we had about what moms would be wearing.

[Junebug54]

I have three married sons and that statement is not true.   My sons are still my "sons" their wives are my "daughters". 

[mintedrose]

I do feel bad for the bride, as all this drama is already starting with the mil. I cant imagine what else is she capable of doing after they get married. The bride must be very upset and annoyed. You know this really comes down to respect and manners. In any event especially weddings, theres a certain level of respect that people need to have for the couple. Its their wedding let them enjoy this. I know at my wedding from dh side sil wanted to help arrange it, she drove me nuts! It was one thing after another. At the time of my actual wedding, I had such a bad headache and i was in such a bad mood that i just wanted to get it over with. And after 6 years, i still cannot stand her and want no relationship with her. 

Tell your friend that if she wants to have a healthy relationship with her son and dil then she better learn some manner and start behaving good. If she continues this after they've been married, the couple isnt gonna wanna have them be a part of their lives. Is she willing to lose that for this? Mature up! Its one thing to get exited and jump the gun, its another to completely ignore the couple's wishes. Very disrespectful. 

[sann]

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@wishmoon wrote:

I don't mean to minimize this problem but why sweat the small stuff? It's a dress. Wait until questions about sickness, money problems, life and death occur. This is a bunch of ppl with too much time on their hands.

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So true.

[stevieb]

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@mintedrose wrote:

I do feel bad for the bride, as all this drama is already starting with the mil. I cant imagine what else is she capable of doing after they get married. The bride must be very upset and annoyed. You know this really comes down to respect and manners. In any event especially weddings, theres a certain level of respect that people need to have for the couple. Its their wedding let them enjoy this. I know at my wedding from dh side sil wanted to help arrange it, she drove me nuts! It was one thing after another. At the time of my actual wedding, I had such a bad headache and i was in such a bad mood that i just wanted to get it over with. And after 6 years, i still cannot stand her and want no relationship with her. 

Tell your friend that if she wants to have a healthy relationship with her son and dil then she better learn some manner and start behaving good. If she continues this after they've been married, the couple isnt gonna wanna have them be a part of their lives. Is she willing to lose that for this? Mature up! Its one thing to get exited and jump the gun, its another to completely ignore the couple's wishes. Very disrespectful.

Manners, consideration and respect cut both ways... It isn't as if the poor, unknowing subject of this thread was attempting to dress the bride, insist she wear her old gown, choose her menu, select her flowers and on and on... No. She simply wanted to select what she, herself, would wear... If the couple wants to get bent out of shape about that then that's on them...  No sympathy pains for the budding bridezilla (or the possibly 'whipped' groom...) from this corner...

[dex]

@chiclets I think she should get a dress in the color the bride wishes.Otherwise all night long the bride will look t her in that green dress and be upset...all of the group photos will remind her that her mil didn’t follow her color scheme.Everytime she shows the photo album to her friends she will be upset by that green dress.I think it is not a good start to their relationship.I really don’t understand the importance of color for the mil but I wouldn’t want to upset my new dil either.