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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,140
Registered: ‎07-01-2012

Re: Why would she do this ????


@dex wrote:

@chiclets I think she should get a dress in the color the bride wishes.Otherwise all night long the bride will look t her in that green dress and be upset...all of the group photos will remind her that her mil didn’t follow her color scheme.Everytime she shows the photo album to her friends she will be upset by that green dress.I think it is not a good start to their relationship.I really don’t understand the importance of color for the mil but I wouldn’t want to upset my new dil either.

 


If the bride thinks her wedding would be ruined then that is on her. 

 

The groom asked his mother to bring her dress back, did he ask the bride to consider his mother's feelings?  I would guess not because she wants her instructions followed, obeyed. Yes, the wedding is about the bride

 

He is her only child, it was the dress she wanted to wear to their wedding and she did not do it with intent or malice, she was excited. 

 

I only have sons.  No one ever told me what to wear.  I think the matter is ridiculous.

 

@dex  we have a different view on the matter but it does not matter.  We know we are not going to ruin the wedding or wear the wrong thing! 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,917
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Why would she do this ????

@chiclets no I am with you but today’s young women seem to have trouble relating to their mil so rather than have problems that would make life difficult for my son I would just comply.If the matter was morally threatening or life threatening then I would stand my ground.I do by the way have a good relationship with my dil who is very thoughtful so it is so easy to adore her.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,991
Registered: ‎11-21-2011

Re: Why would she do this ????

Personally I'd let the mother's wear whatever they want but I wonder what kind of dress she bought. I would have waited until knowing the type of wedding they were going to have. Is it formal, less formal, on a beach? At least wait until you have that information.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,548
Registered: ‎03-02-2016

Re: Why would she do this ????

Yep, the MOG over stepped her boundaries. I can understand the bride being upset with her.  The MOG waits till she finds out what type of dress (formal, casual) to wear, what color the MOB has chosen first.  It isn't anything thing new. It was that way when I got married 38 years ago!  She should apologize to the couple, keep the dress if she likes it. Use it for another occasion.  She isn't getting off on a very good foot with her soon to be DIL.  She shouldn't be making waves even before she has a DIL.

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Posts: 3,846
Registered: ‎04-23-2010

Re: Why would she do this ????


@dex wrote:

@chiclets no I am with you but today’s young women seem to have trouble relating to their mil so rather than have problems that would make life difficult for my son I would just comply.If the matter was morally threatening or life threatening then I would stand my ground.I do by the way have a good relationship with my dil who is very thoughtful so it is so easy to adore her.


I don't know what you base that generalization on, but I have read countless stories/complaints on here about mother-in laws. They were written by women who are not young.

“The soul is healed by being with children.”
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Valued Contributor
Posts: 648
Registered: ‎03-04-2017

Re: Why would she do this ????

@stevieb That sounds negative and unreasonable towards the bride and groom when you dont even know them. Calling her a bridezilla and the groom whipped is just rude. Perhaps, a little lesson on social ettiquette is due. Clearly, here the mil has overstepped her boundaries and seems to be behaving immature, especially when she knows how and what weddings entail. 

 

Another thing, just because the bride wants things a certain way on her wedding day does not make her a bridezilla. Not all brides are like that. She could be a very nice girl overall. It is her wedding, something some girls dream about since little girls. I say let the MIL wear whatever she wants but it does show us a not so good side of her and is she gonna be this pushy going forward? the mil has already lived her life and imposing her will on the couple is definelty not a good gesture on her part.   

~No act of kindness, no matter how small is ever wasted~ Aesop
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Posts: 65,748
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Re: Why would she do this ????

 


@mintedrose wrote:

@stevieb That sounds negative and unreasonable towards the bride and groom when you dont even know them. Calling her a bridezilla and the groom whipped is just rude. Perhaps, a little lesson on social ettiquette is due. Clearly, here the mil has overstepped her boundaries and seems to be behaving immature, especially when she knows how and what weddings entail. 

 

Another thing, just because the bride wants things a certain way on her wedding day does not make her a bridezilla. Not all brides are like that. She could be a very nice girl overall. It is her wedding, something some girls dream about since little girls. I say let the MIL wear whatever she wants but it does show us a not so good side of her and is she gonna be this pushy going forward? the mil has already lived her life and imposing her will on the couple is definelty not a good gesture on her part.   


@mintedrose  Clearly... you have your point of view and I have mine... That said, I'd hate to think the perspective that 'she's already lived her life' applies to anyone who isn't younger and contemplating being a bride... The woman chose an outfit for herself to wear... She did not in any way try to take charge of the wedding or otherwise 'overstep'... While I can accept she might have jumped the gun, it was the bride who became 'frosty' and the groom who, undoubtedly at the bride's behest, ramped things up another notch, ALL, I would add, when the bride has admitted she has yet to 'pick colors'... As far as it goes, once she does so, the outfit in question might meet with her approval; assuming such is mandatory, which it frankly isn't... As for the lesson in 'social etiquette', thanks for the suggestion, but I'll pass... 


In my pantry with my cupcakes...
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,140
Registered: ‎07-01-2012

Re: Why would she do this ????

[ Edited ]

The circumstance and situation is ludicrous.

 

The fact is the bride and groom have been together for 10 years so the relationship between the bride and future MIL has already been established and has history.  Any references to the MIL starting her relationship with her new DIL on the wrong foot has no significance.

 

A grown woman has the right to dress herself.

 

And I differ with the saying "a son is a son until he takes a wife".  Be it boy or girl, your child is your child the rest of your life.

 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 65,748
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Why would she do this ????


@chiclets wrote:

The circumstance and situation is ludicrous.

 

The fact is the bride and groom have been together for 10 years so the relationship between the bride and future MIL has already been established and has history.  Any references to the MIL starting her relationship with her new DIL on the wrong foot has no significance.

 

A grown woman has the right to dress herself.

 

And I differ with the saying "a son is a son until he takes a wife".  Be it boy or girl, your child is your child the rest of your life.

 

 

 


@chiclets  Big thumbs up... Nicely stated...


In my pantry with my cupcakes...
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,120
Registered: ‎03-29-2019

Re: Why would she do this ????


@chiclets wrote:

The circumstance and situation is ludicrous.

 

The fact is the bride and groom have been together for 10 years so the relationship between the bride and future MIL has already been established and has history.  Any references to the MIL starting her relationship with her new DIL on the wrong foot has no significance.

 

A grown woman has the right to dress herself.

 

And I differ with the saying "a son is a son until he takes a wife".  Be it boy or girl, your child is your child the rest of your life.

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once married, a son needs to put his wife and child(ren) first, and mom has to accept that she is no longer the #1 woman in his life anymore.

 

If that means standing up to Mom to defend his wife, and to tell Mom that's she's over-stepping her bounds, then so be it, that's what he has to do.

 

 

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.