Among Friends

[CalminHeart]

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You always fix it so why would he bother to be concerned?  

I would never make appointments for my husband.  He's a big boy and can do it himself.   He'll figure it out when he runs out of contacts or needs something.  You're his wife, not his mom.

[Montana]

I feel your husband’s behavior is inconsiderate of others and a danger to himself.  He is playing Russian roulette with his eyesight - a disaster waiting to happen.

@mintedrose, Now, I read both you and others are defending or justifying his behavior and your role in the situation.  “Teamwork” I think it’s being called.

In the long run, if you are ok with it, I guess that’s all that matters.  

[RetRN]

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@mintedrose wrote:

@Sooner Thank you! its precisely because of that reason why i try to help him. I dont wanna be his mom neither am i trying to be. however, i know how much he'd go out of his way to take care of me if i needed help. I do it out of my heart because i care. His mom apparently didnt make him very independent from the beginning and thats due to her own control issues. 

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Not sure why you are asking the question. You knew he was like this (not very independent)  when you married him and you don't seem to mind doing it. 

[Allegheny]

@mintedrose  BTW, I think your avatar is adorable.   What I want to know is did he make his appointment yesterday?

[reiki604]

From both your  threads on this site, it seems that you must some benefit from being walked all over. From your BIL and SIL and now DH, it seems like you accept all responsibility for everything that goes wrong. Why is that? That's the issue you should deal with before coming to complain about the way you are treated. To quote Eleanor Roosevelt: ' No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". You are consenting to let your DH believe that you are his scheduler and secretary and it is your responsibility that he makes his appointments. Balderdash!!!!!! Unless you choose to act as mommy and enabler, stop complaining about it and do something about it. Otherwise your threads will simply continue to be a repetition of 'poor me' with no resolution or solution.

[Equuleus]

Why not stop doing it for him.  You've taken the responsibility upon yourself.  Tell him straight out how you feel and stop doing it.  If you don't stop, then you're an enabler.  It's on you. 

In other words to answer your question "why does DH do this?"  Because you do it.  The question should be, why do I keep doing this.

[Group 5 minus 1]

Did you ask him?

[Mj12]

I can see how making the appointments and reminding him would be annoying if it were a constant thing.  My husband goes to the doctor so rarely, that when he really needs to go, I’m happy to make it easy for him (appointments etc.)  I don’t consider it “mommying” him but just trying to make it easier. He does so much at home, in the yard, auto maintenance, that I don’t have any issue with making an appointment.  

[house_cat]

I sure can relate to your OP.

I made DH's appointments for years, I guess because he worked much longer hours and it was more convenient for me to do it.  

After he missed his dentist appointment three times in a row (valid reasons, but he didn't call to cancel), I got a very terse reprimand from the office clerk.  That was it.  I told him I'd never be put in that position again and from that day on he had to be responsible for himself.  Guess what... he missed a lot less appointments after that.