Among Friends

[adoreqvc]

God Bless you too Furry, and please do check into any grief therapy groups available near you, so you can all share your emotions and know you are not grieving all alone.

Furry I also just posted to you on page 15 on the Delayed Grief Thread.

I will be checking that thread often, so please feel free to post if you can.

Also one thing I negated to mention is if you are religious Furry please speak with your religious leader, as religion offers so much hope and comfort, especially as we  continue to grieve.

[PamfromCT]

Dear Furry, My heart goes out to you.  Losing a parent is such a terrible time.  Many good people on this thread has offered you some wonderful advice.  I do want to tell you that the best thing you can do is reach out for help at this time.  After my mother died, my brother and I sought out some grief counseling from Hospice.  It was the best thing we could have done.  You must take care of yourself, and please take time to grieve.  You will recover in time.  May God bless you.

[NYC Susan]

---

@nana59 wrote:

Tell her this is a very difficult time for you and you will be in touch with her once you start to feel better......

---

I agree.

There's no need for the OP to say anything more.  She said her health is confidential, and she has every right to feel that way and to keep it that way.  It's not necessary to explain.  She just lost her father, and that in itself is enough reason for people to respect her need for privacy and her need to be given some time and space.

My deepest condolences.

[hckynutjohn]

---

@Furry wrote:

                     My father passed away a couple of days ago.  There is a dear female friend of his who got my number from my dad.  She calls and drags me down with her.  It is already difficult enough.  In addition, I have MS and stress causes a flare up.  She does not know about my MS because it's confidential.  I don't know how to fix this situation with this lady.  I already have enough stress on my own without her calling me.  How can I handle this in a tasteful way?

---

SPEAK UP!

People can only take advantage of you if you let them, and I am talking about any/or all topics. If a person is doing something that effects you negatively? I see 2 choices:  Say nothing and live with it or tell them, in no uncertain words, whatever it is you want them to quit doing, and in a tone that leaves no doubt you are serious.

I am sorry about the loss of your father. My thoughts are with you

hckynut(john)

[qualitygal]

If you're able to get an answering machine, you can let the phone calls go there first and screen who you want to speak with. I'd go that route.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Stress does upset the system, so I hope you can find a solution.

[redhead65]

---

@hckynutjohn wrote:

---

@Furry wrote:

                     My father passed away a couple of days ago.  There is a dear female friend of his who got my number from my dad.  She calls and drags me down with her.  It is already difficult enough.  In addition, I have MS and stress causes a flare up.  She does not know about my MS because it's confidential.  I don't know how to fix this situation with this lady.  I already have enough stress on my own without her calling me.  How can I handle this in a tasteful way?

---

SPEAK UP!

People can only take advantage of you if you let them, and I am talking about any/or all topics. If a person is doing something that effects you negatively? I see 2 choices:  Say nothing and live with it or tell them, in no uncertain words, whatever it is you want them to quit doing, and in a tone that leaves no doubt you are serious.

I am sorry about the loss of your father. My thoughts are with you

hckynut(john)

This is great advice from John and EXACTLY what I would do and suggest you do. You don't owe her anything, and being tactful obviously won't work with her.

Tell her you just don't want her to be calling as you feel it is not appropriate or welcomed. After that, you do not have to explain your point of view. State it plain and simple and say goodbye and hang up.

If she tries again, just screen her calls. She will eventually get the idea if you just don't reply.

I, too, am very sorry for your serious loss.

---

[Keeper of the koi]

@furry how Iare you doing ? Was thinking of you....Maryanne

[ECBG]

I am so very sorry.  People are often hard to understand because no one comes from the same "place".  The woman is probably in some kind of pain too and finds relief by speaking with you when she needs therapy.  I'll keep you in my prayers.

This is the time to take care of yourself and that's ok.