Among Friends

[Veridoc]

My dearly departed mother used to tell me when a woman hits her 50's she magically discovers she has a mouth.....and uses it. Mother was right. The blessing of being retired is getting to select the people you want to share time with. I think the reason so many of us share this is because up until now we have given our time and energy to working and caring for our family. I knew it was time for me to retire when people in the work place really started getting on my nerves bad. REALLY BAD. I think it's just a normal part of the aging process for us to feel like that. 

[YorkieonmyPillow]

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@libbyannE wrote:

@TX-starlight

I hear you. I reached that point with a friend around age 40. Maybe it was a life stage vs. age issue or hormones or maybe it was because of my corporate responsibilities plus a sudden death in my family which turned my world upside-down. I don't know. But Suddenly, I just couldn't handle that person anymore. She was always needy and the only friend of mine who was competitive and regularly tossed putdowns  into our chats. I never responded in kind but just let it go. I'd known her since grade school. But she had actually hurt me many times over the years when she would say things on purpose to burst my bubble when I shared some bit of happiness with her. Suddenly, I thought, "Why do I put up with the jibes and one-upsmanship? I am not like that. No one in my circle of friends behaves that way. Every chat with her has stressful moments of HER making. Enough." And I did something I had never done and just dropped her. I know she was jealous and insecure, but I realized that we were 40, for heaven's sake, and she just wasn't going to grow up. I'm not sorry. 

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I would've done the same...don't need it, don't want it!

[TX-starlight]

@Mimi 1883 We were discussing recent medical tests. She asked how did I NOT have high bp. I asked what she meant by that, she said most people with excess weight have high bp. 

Maybe it just hit me wrong, but I resented that question. It was totally uncalled for, no reason at all to say such a thing. I certainly never would say anything so tacky. I KNOW I need to lose weight, don't need anyone telling me anything I don't already know. Honestly, it was like a slap in the face. 

[Still keeper of the koi]

@TX-starlight,lovely to meet anotherMaryAnn!I hope my messsge gets where it needs to when I post.You deserve to have a lovely life,positive people in it.Remind yourself the world needs you... Hugs,   Maryanne 

[Mimi 1883]

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@TX-starlight wrote:

@Mimi 1883 We were discussing recent medical tests. She asked how did I NOT have high bp. I asked what she meant by that, she said most people with excess weight have high bp. 

Maybe it just hit me wrong, but I resented that question. It was totally uncalled for, no reason at all to say such a thing. I certainly never would say anything so tacky. I KNOW I need to lose weight, don't need anyone telling me anything I don't already know. Honestly, it was like a slap in the face. 

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@TX-starlight That was totally uncalled for! What did you say to her?

[TX-starlight]

@Mimi 1883 It was in a FB msg, as we don't live close. I gave her a "thumbs up" emoji, & have not responded since (& don't intend to) & neither has she. I think she should have apologized to me. She obviously knows she hurt my feelings. She has some health issues, & I recently asked another friend who keeps in contact with her, if she had heard from her. She told me the latest on her health, then said the other lady couldn't understand why I got mad. I never said another word about it.  It was rude & uncalled for. 

[FuzzyFace]

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@catwhisperer wrote:

@TX-starlight....I totally understand where you are coming from. The older I get, the more irritable I am. I'm in my late 60's. I have no tolerance for stupidity or inconsiderate people. I have spent too many years putting up with other people's nonsense and am not taking it anymore. So, in other words, you are not alone. Hope this helps.

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AMEN, SISTER! I'm the same age and I feel the same way.

[gmkb]

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@Sooner wrote:

I have always said what I thought, stood up for myself, but made myself too available to do things for others I think.  Now I am taking our needs first in most cases, but I am more laid back, and small stuff doesn't bother me so much.

I am a kinder gentler person in many respects.

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@Sooner. Never berate yourself for being available for others.  That is a worthy quality to possess.  We are blessed by being a blessing to others.  Kudos to you.  When I read your posts, I recognize you are a gentle person and that is good.

I am saddened by this thread when I read about people demanding apologies, pushing people out of their lives, not overlooking tactless remarks.  It is not a recipe for a contented life.  We have all felt hurt by others tactless remarks and we have all made tactless remarks.

[Mimi 1883]

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@TX-starlight wrote:

@Mimi 1883 It was in a FB msg, as we don't live close. I gave her a "thumbs up" emoji, & have not responded since (& don't intend to) & neither has she. I think she should have apologized to me. She obviously knows she hurt my feelings. She has some health issues, & I recently asked another friend who keeps in contact with her, if she had heard from her. She told me the latest on her health, then said the other lady couldn't understand why I got mad. I never said another word about it.  It was rude & uncalled for. 

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@TX-starlight Hmm...not sure at all why you would give her a “thumbs up” emoji to an insulting post to you. No wonder why she doesn’t understand why you got mad at her. You should’ve just come right out then and told her that it was insulting and uncalled for. 

How long have you two been friends?

[TX-starlight]

@Mimi 1883 We've known each other since 5th grade (we're 65). I gave her thumbs up, only to acknowledge that I read her last msg. I should not have answered at all, but can't stand when people leave me hanging,lol. She knew she I was mad.