Among Friends

[qbetzforreal]

The good thing about being in group is that there is always that one or two people who can keep the conversation going.  I let them do heavy work and chime in when I have point to ponder.  Someone must think you're interesting because you're included in the group.  Have fun.  Be yourself.

[AngelPuppy1]

I get it!  I am sort of the same way.  I usually avoid most gatherings because I just am not comfortable.  I have always been an introvert my whole life.  I never was good in crowds of people.  Instead, I chose and felt more comfortable in situations where I am one-on-one.  I have been known to fake-it when I've had to --- blab, blab, blab.  But I don't enjoy it and find it very stressful.  Some people are just naturally outgoing and extroverts and others are more reserved, shy and/or somewhat loners.  

I've always read that body language is important when facing a situation with a lot of people and people you don't really know.  Smile, look around a lot, don't cross your arms in front of you and make eye contact.  Move around the room, don't just stick to one spot or park yourself in a corner.  

Try to concentrate on other people and not yourself.  I find this helps.  And arming yourself with a list of potential topics is very hepful!!!  

[TX-starlight]

This is hard sometimes to carry on a conversation with strangers. My most recent incident with strangers (& I was MOST uncomfortable!!). 

I recently had my car serviced, I took several magazines to browse, since this place is usually filled with men. When I entered the waiting area, here was a lady with a terrified dog on a leash, another lady who was reading, & a lady playing with her phone. I am not a dog person & I was worried about this dog, since it seemed terrified, (you never know what to expect there). I sat in the only seat available, between the reader & the lady playing on her phone. I immediately started browsing my magazine, not interested in disturbing the others. Oh my goodness! The lady on the phone put it down & started chattering SO loud & so annoying!! She interrupted the reader. I tried to ignore the conversation, but she kept asking me things. I was SO annoyed. FINALLY they called her for her car after about 15 min. Sometimes you just want peace,lol. 

[Sooner]

If you aren't comfortable with small talk, just do it!  It gets easier and makes life a blast.  You meet interesting people and learn a lot.  You get a lot of chances to laugh too.

Start seeking out the most popular people in the room and force yourself to walk over and join the group in laughter.  I'll bet before you've done this half dozen times, it will feel natural to you and you will be laughing along with the group.

Like tennis, it takes practive and you have to know the rules.  No sensitive subjects for small talk.  Ask questions that keep the most vocal one talking, and respond to them when there is an opportunitiy.  

Never miss the opportunity to blush and say "What ME?????" when asked a question you don't have an answer for!  Everyone will laugh.  Then take a drink and shake your head "NO NO NO"  and hold up your hand.  If you blush, so much the better, everyone will laugh and go on!  

It really is a little game.  Start playing, accept some blunders and mistakes and carry on!  You don't hit a home run often the first time at bat.  Maybe you never do, doesn't mean you don't have a turn at bat.  You don't HAVE to pitch you know!  LOL!!!

[nana59]

spent most of my life being an extrovert....then i got tired and worn out....now i'm enjoying being an introvert....

[Shanus]

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@OhioAngelwrote:

I am terrible at small talk. I used to be super shy and Im not now but still not good with small talk in a group or even with someone I hardly know.

With Easter coming I will be in a group of people I dont know very well at all. I feel self concious in a group and never know what to talk about or ask.

When I am asked what have you been up to or is there anything new going on I cringe.  I dont get out alot right now and dont have anything interesting to talk about.

What is someone like me to do?!  I cant fake being outgoing and cant make things up lol.

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@OhioAngel. I’m not great w/ conversation in a crowd either. I usually try to wear an interesting pin, scarf, accessory that stands out & has a story behind it. Someone always will notice and start the conversation with, “Oh, I love your pin. Where’d you find it?” Your answer can be as simple as you “were passing a cute store walking into get groceries and it just spoke to you”. You can also begin a conversation by complimenting someone’s taste in color of their outfit, love their hair, their bracelet, whatever. Important to remember, most of the people there don’t like small talk either. 🌸

[151949]

Ask the other person about themself and listen intently to their answer.They will take it from there.

I was terribly shy in High Shool, but as a nurse I had no problem talking about intimate personal stuff with perfect strangers. I finally figured out that was because I was always asking them about their issues and about themselves - and people love to talk about themselves or their interests. So now in any social situation I just ask them what they do for a living or where they are from or if they like to golf or go to the gym. Sometimes when I'm at a loss - esp. if it is a guy , I'll say I'm thinking of getting a new car , what kind of car do you have? Do you like it? What do you like about it? works every time.

[OhioAngel]

Great thoughts and suggestions here.  I am certainly going to use some of them! Thank you very much. I am not dreading going quite as much lol. 

[OhioAngel]

Tx Starlight that was a funny story! I would have been very uncomfortable lol.

[chiclet]

I used to be shy and have found that people love to talk about themselves so ask questions.  Just nothing too personal or they will think you are nosey.  Really listen to their answers and it  will lead you to more questions and ways to compliment them.  I think a lot of shy people is so busy thinking about what they are going to say that they don't listen to the answers. 

I hate large parties and gatherings and feel the conversations are so boring and meaningless but sometimes unavoidable.