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Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,616
Registered: ‎05-15-2016

See if you can spot someone else who looks kind of shy or ill at ease and talk to them. I ask how they know the host and if they know everyone here. 

 

If all all else fails, just smile!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,485
Registered: ‎09-22-2017

 

How about things you may be planning or would love to do this spring/summer.

 

Movies/t.v. shows, trips,etc.

 

It will all fall into place. Good LuckSmiley Wink

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,112
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

I'm not a 'small talker', that's for sure.

Thanks for the tips!

 

'Trouble is' that when someone asks me what I've been up to lately, I usually say 'Nothing'.  (lol).  That seems to 'throw off' talkative people. (lol, again)

One of my relatives (years ago) suggested that I just 'make up stuff'.  Little white lies as to where I've been, what I've 'been up to', etc. 

I tried doing it for a short time, but I don't suggest it.  Even though I sure felt great re: being at my faux places, lol.  It did prompt me to actually do some of those things, as I recall.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,407
Registered: ‎07-07-2010

@OhioAngel, years ago, my employer asked me to accompany a co-worker/friend to a business meeting that was out of state.  The moderator of the group went around the room, asking everyone to state their name and why they were there.  Unfortunately, I saw that she would get to me first before my friend (the moderator's seating was blocking the door, or I would have left) and I knew that I would have to say something and had no idea what.  I thought of someone who I used to work with and how she would handle it.  I just took over her persona and everyone raved about what I had to say.  I could not begin to tell you what came out of my mouth, but it must have been good because they were still praising me at dinner.  My friend just said that she was with me (that is what I was supposed to say).

 

Anyway, think of someone who you admire who always takes the lead and try to use their persona.  Ask questions, because most people like to talk about themselves.  Find out where people like to vacation or what activities they participate in.  You might even find someone with whom you would like to continue a friendship.  

 

Stay away from politics and religion.

 

Most important, relax and enjoy.  No one will remember tomorrow what you said or did not say today.

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!
Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,422
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Here's another tip, not necessarily for talking per se, but just how you feel, @OhioAngel

Make sure you're in a happy frame of mind, set good intentions for the day, ask for the right words to come to you at the right time, and then open yourself to that.

If you feel well and healthy, then you'll be more open to sharing ideas or asking questions.

[was Homegirl] Love to be home . . . thus the screen name. Joined 2003.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,648
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I hope it goes well!   I cringe at the thought of having to be in a crowd of people I don't really know.  I usually just find a wall or corner to back up into and I talk to people who come my way.

 

But, like you, I don't really do small talk.  I don't do bs and I don't play games.  So I guess the good thing is that when you are around people who do all that you can just listen and say 'uh huh' 'yeah', or whatever, every now and then.  

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,162
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

You've been given terrific tips. Dale Carnegie said people have a face that says YES or a face that says NO. My husband shared with me 30 years ago that my face says "I'm bored with you." How awful, and yes, I was not happy with his honesty. Since that time I've simply tried to have a more relaxed, pleasant, 'open' look on my face. So, this is a great place to start. AND, always ask others about themselves or what they're interested in. You'll be brilliant in their eyes.  

"I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees." Henry David Thoreau
Honored Contributor
Posts: 24,186
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

small talk and me, is oil and water.  I am not good with just chattering with people i have no idea who they are. I am worried that i will say or do the wrong thing.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,702
Registered: ‎08-22-2013

My husband and I are talkers and trying to start up a conversation with someone who is shy is a real pain for us. We figure, maybe they are really shy or they just don't want to be bothered. I quit going to highschool reunions for that reason. I would say, try to be more forth coming and honest with people and it will work out.

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 100
Registered: ‎01-26-2012

I’m terrible at small talk but I find if I ask people about their children or grandchildren, they usually take over!