Among Friends

[Kachina624]

@1jenniferjuniper  You should immediately contact the manager of this program and relate what has happened.  I managed such employment programs prior to my retirement and just to hear of this happening is very upsetting to me.  You handled your part perfectly except she should be reported.

Not all job seekers are strong or sophisticated  enough to handle this sort of religious "bullying", so it could have dire consequences.  Please, please do the right thing and let a manager know what is happening.

[Ms X]

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@Kachina624 wrote:

@1jenniferjuniper  You should immediately contact the manager of this program and relate what has happened.  I managed such employment programs prior to my retirement and just to hear of this happening is very upsetting to me.  You handled your part perfectly except she should be reported.

Not all job seekers are strong or sophisticated  enough to handle this sort of religious "bullying", so it could have dire consequences.  Please, please do the right thing and let a manager know what is happening.

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Kachina:  Do you have any tips as to how she can avoid this complaint affecting her job search, or are my concerns not well-founded?  I thought I'd ask you, since you know about this issue.

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[dooBdoo]

         I don't see an easy answer to this one, @Frosted Cake.   What this woman did was highly unprofessional.  

         It seems to me you have to weigh the possibility that someone in the city might not like your reporting her against the fact that she's acting so inappropriately as a city representative and she might cause problems for others who seek her help, too.   Clearly, she's blocked herself as a resource for you... and who knows how many others?   She's supposed to be an avenue to help others find employment and, in fact, she might instead be a barrier.   A good manager would be appalled to know their employee was doing this, but we have no idea if her superior at work is a "good manager" or not.

        I wish you well in this job search, and hope what you choose to do with this situation will turn out to be a good decision.   If you make the choice with your best instincts, at least you'll be able to leave it behind with a good conscience.

[Kachina624]

These employment programs are Federally funded with money funneled through the state down through local workforce boards.  If she reports the employee and nothing is done, there is always someone higher up, including an elected representatives like a congressperson.  I'm very sorry this has happened to our poster and hope she'll take appropriate action so it doesn't continue.  The counselor should never again have public contact.

[jubilant]

If she said the things you say she did and you have the emails.....right there is your proof.  I would show them to her superiors. There is something I don't understand.  You said she was working with you one-on-one and gave you good advice about how to market yourself and get an interview.  You had an interview that didn't go well so you emailed her telling her of your discouragement and disappointment.  Did you e-mail her at work?  Is she refusing to work with you now?  

[jubilant]

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@hckynut wrote:

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@Frosted Cake wrote:

I really need some advice.

 I had an interview that didn't go so well.  I e-mailed this gal and told her how disappointed I was and discouraged.   She wrote me an e-mail response that stated unless I come to her church and accept her God, I would never find my way.    

my advice? none,  but i do enjoy reading fiction novels like this.

hnj

*******************  Actually, hckynut was not the only one who raised an eyebrow here.  That was my first reaction.  Surely this woman who worked with op knows she could lose her job if she did this on her computer at work....I mean....  if this woman said what you say her email says than that is blackmail and you have the emails to proove it!   Why would you not show these emails to her superiors ...especially if she is refusing to work with you???   

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[Frosted Cake]

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@jubilant wrote:

If she said the things you say she did and you have the emails.....right there is your proof.  I would show them to her superiors. There is something I don't understand.  You said she was working with you one-on-one and gave you good advice about how to market yourself and get an interview.  You had an interview that didn't go well so you emailed her telling her of your discouragement and disappointment.  Did you e-mail her at work?  Is she refusing to work with you now?  

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The only e-mail address she gave me is her personal one.   She was "smart" enough not to correspond with me from work.   When she gave me her card, she wrote her e-mail address on it, saying she checks that one more often, which makes me wonder if she's done this before.

Her last e-mail to me read, "Thanks for letting me know.  I was hoping you would attend church and take to heart the encouragement I've been giving you.  I believe going to church will turn things around for you. Without faith, God may not please you.  God's door is still open as long as you are willing to have faith and walk through it.  i wish you luck in your job search, and if you change your mind let me know."    

It wasn't an overt refusal, but prior to this, she was checking up on me a few times a week.   It's been over a week, and I haven't heard from her since.  That's why I was asking if I should send an e-mail to her asking if the only way she will provide career advice and guidance is on a spiritual level.   I would be interested in her response.    She could take it as "a change of my mind" or if she had any brains, she would say no.  

That way, it would be quite evident.    

[Frosted Cake]

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@jubilant wrote:

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@hckynut wrote:

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@Frosted Cake wrote:

I really need some advice.

 I had an interview that didn't go so well.  I e-mailed this gal and told her how disappointed I was and discouraged.   She wrote me an e-mail response that stated unless I come to her church and accept her God, I would never find my way.    

my advice? none,  but i do enjoy reading fiction novels like this.

hnj

*******************  Actually, hckynut was not the only one who raised an eyebrow here.  That was my first reaction.  Surely this woman who worked with op knows she could lose her job if she did this on her computer at work....I mean....  if this woman said what you say her email says than that is blackmail and you have the emails to proove it.   Why would you not show these emails to her superiors ...especially if she is refusing to work with you???   

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All her emails were on her personal e-mail account... with google.com.

She may have e-mailed me while sitting at her desk, but she was astute enough to know not to use her work e-mail.   See my other reply about sending her another e-mail to see how she responds.

I have enough problems, I don't need nor have time to make something up for kicks. I feel betrayed and preyed upon.   

[jubilant]

I would definitely tell her how I felt and ask why she hadn't called me back?  Tell her how you feel once more and that you have your faith and would appreciate her not sharing hers with you. Be sure and let her know it is her job to train you not to convert you. I would only contact her through her work place. You could probably think of a better way to say it but something to that effect.

[dooBdoo]

         @jubilant,   "Blackmail" is exactly the word I was thinking about after I posted and left the thread.    Just based on what @Frosted Cake has told us, or as far as she's aware, this person sounds like she's using her position to coerce people into adopting her personal faith.