Re: Not Invited

Lovingq · ‎03-09-2010

@chickenbutt wrote:
I don't see anything unusual about it. Wouldn't the kids invite who THEY want to invite? Anything beyond that is just a gift grab, IMO.

I wouldn't take that against your friend, the parent. It's the kids' wedding, not theirs.

Nothing unusual about it? I watched my best friend's kids when she had to put in extra hours at work and never once declined her request to do so, even when I had made other plans. I never missed one single birthday of either child and got them a really special gift when they turned 16. Because that's what friends do for one another and their children. So far one child got married and yes I was invited, I would have been very upset if I hadn't been.

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

Moretofollow wrote:
chickenbutt wrote:
I don't see anything unusual about it. Wouldn't the kids invite who THEY want to invite? Anything beyond that is just a gift grab, IMO.

I wouldn't take that against your friend, the parent. It's the kids' wedding, not theirs.
Nothing unusual about it? I watched my best friend's kids when she had to put in extra hours at work and never once declined her request to do so, even when I had made other plans. I never missed one single birthday of either child and got them a gift when they turned 16. Because that's what friends do for one another and their children. So far one child got married and yes I was invited, I would have been very upset if I hadn't been.

No need to chastise me for my opinion because, first of all, its not about you unless you are the OP, but with a different ID.

The OP did not express a lifetime closeness with her friend's kids, only with her friend.

The wedding is about the bride and groom, their friends, and their families. Not necessarily their familes' friends and on and on.

I can (sort of) see why you felt entitled to be invited, due to your involvement with the child throughout his/her life, but there are probably as many completely different scenarios as there are people.

I can imagine that a lot of people, probably most, cannot afford to invite every person who has come across their path or every friend of a friend, etc. Often, it's just about their (b&g) close family and friends.

Lovingq · ‎03-09-2010

@chickenbutt wrote:
@Moretofollow wrote:
@chickenbutt wrote:
I don't see anything unusual about it. Wouldn't the kids invite who THEY want to invite? Anything beyond that is just a gift grab, IMO.

I wouldn't take that against your friend, the parent. It's the kids' wedding, not theirs.
Nothing unusual about it? I watched my best friend's kids when she had to put in extra hours at work and never once declined her request to do so, even when I had made other plans. I never missed one single birthday of either child and got them a gift when they turned 16. Because that's what friends do for one another and their children. So far one child got married and yes I was invited, I would have been very upset if I hadn't been.

No need to chastise me for my opinion because, first of all, its not about you unless you are the OP, but with a different ID.

The OP did not express a lifetime closeness with her friend's kids, only with her friend.

The wedding is about the bride and groom, their friends, and their families. Not necessarily their familes' friends and on and on.

I can (sort of) see why you felt entitled to be invited, due to your involvement with the child throughout his/her life, but there are probably as many completely different scenarios as there are people.

I can imagine that a lot of people, probably most, cannot afford to invite every person who has come across their path or every friend of a friend, etc. Often, it's just about their (b&g) close family and friends.

Most long term friendships include a relationship with the kids as well. Pretty impossible to avoid that. I guess you have not experienced this which is sad if that's the case.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@Moretofollow wrote:
@chickenbutt wrote:
@Moretofollow wrote:
@chickenbutt wrote:
I don't see anything unusual about it. Wouldn't the kids invite who THEY want to invite? Anything beyond that is just a gift grab, IMO.

I wouldn't take that against your friend, the parent. It's the kids' wedding, not theirs.
Nothing unusual about it? I watched my best friend's kids when she had to put in extra hours at work and never once declined her request to do so, even when I had made other plans. I never missed one single birthday of either child and got them a gift when they turned 16. Because that's what friends do for one another and their children. So far one child got married and yes I was invited, I would have been very upset if I hadn't been.

No need to chastise me for my opinion because, first of all, its not about you unless you are the OP, but with a different ID.

The OP did not express a lifetime closeness with her friend's kids, only with her friend.

The wedding is about the bride and groom, their friends, and their families. Not necessarily their familes' friends and on and on.

I can (sort of) see why you felt entitled to be invited, due to your involvement with the child throughout his/her life, but there are probably as many completely different scenarios as there are people.

I can imagine that a lot of people, probably most, cannot afford to invite every person who has come across their path or every friend of a friend, etc. Often, it's just about their (b&g) close family and friends.
Most long term friendships include a relationship with the kids as well. Pretty impossible to avoid that. I guess you have not experienced this which is sad if that's the case.

Not where I grew up it didn't. SOME of my friends parents were frients of my parents, but not nearly all. And there were many good friends of my mom's or dad's I only knew in passing. Mom and her friends went bowling, shopping and lunch together, but I wasn't with them. I was with my friends or in school, or working or doing other things. Of course I was close to some of their friends, but in general, not nearly all of them. I don't see that as unusual.

spix · ‎04-26-2013

@Momofdogs, I too have a friend that did the same thing, wanted us (her friends) at ther DGD wedding & paid for the plates, we all gave very generous gifts so the couple did well

Lovingq · ‎03-09-2010

@Sooner wrote:
@Moretofollow wrote:
@chickenbutt wrote:
@Moretofollow wrote:
@chickenbutt wrote:
I don't see anything unusual about it. Wouldn't the kids invite who THEY want to invite? Anything beyond that is just a gift grab, IMO.

I wouldn't take that against your friend, the parent. It's the kids' wedding, not theirs.
Nothing unusual about it? I watched my best friend's kids when she had to put in extra hours at work and never once declined her request to do so, even when I had made other plans. I never missed one single birthday of either child and got them a gift when they turned 16. Because that's what friends do for one another and their children. So far one child got married and yes I was invited, I would have been very upset if I hadn't been.

No need to chastise me for my opinion because, first of all, its not about you unless you are the OP, but with a different ID.

The OP did not express a lifetime closeness with her friend's kids, only with her friend.

The wedding is about the bride and groom, their friends, and their families. Not necessarily their familes' friends and on and on.

I can (sort of) see why you felt entitled to be invited, due to your involvement with the child throughout his/her life, but there are probably as many completely different scenarios as there are people.

I can imagine that a lot of people, probably most, cannot afford to invite every person who has come across their path or every friend of a friend, etc. Often, it's just about their (b&g) close family and friends.
Most long term friendships include a relationship with the kids as well. Pretty impossible to avoid that. I guess you have not experienced this which is sad if that's the case.
Not where I grew up it didn't. SOME of my friends parents were frients of my parents, but not nearly all. And there were many good friends of my mom's or dad's I only knew in passing. Mom and her friends went bowling, shopping and lunch together, but I wasn't with them. I was with my friends or in school, or working or doing other things. Of course I was close to some of their friends, but in general, not nearly all of them. I don't see that as unusual.

@Sooner

Not what I was talking about at all but this from my previous post:

I watched my best friend's kids when she had to put in extra hours at work and never once declined her request to do so, even when I had made other plans. I never missed one single birthday of either child and got them a special gift when they turned 16. Because that's what friends do for one another and their children. So far one child got married and yes I was invited, I would have been very upset if I hadn't been.

KentuckyWoman · ‎03-13-2010

I hate weddings so I would be tap dancing on the tables if I didn't have to go and buy a gift. But that's just me.

Seriously, if you are that close and she didn't invite you she may have been limited to the number of people she could invite. If that is the case she should have talked to you and explained it. JMO.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

I'm just not easily offended by stuff like that. . . never have been.

Lovingq · ‎03-09-2010

@Sooner wrote:
I'm just not easily offended by stuff like that. . . never have been.

I have fond memories of those days when I was asked by my long time friend of over 30 years to be responsible for her kids; their health, their welfare that is a big deal. I gave them food out of my refrigerator and shelter in my home and stayed up until their mom got home from work making sure at all times that they were safe and secure and did this for a number of years until she remarried. I would do it again, they were good kids.