Among Friends

[Q4u]

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@Peaches McPheewrote:

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@IMWwrote:

I think as women get older they become “invisible “.

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I came on here to post this same thing.   

We ARE invisible.  (But, I gotta say, that is very liberating.)

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THIS!  This is something my Mother mentioned to me when she hit 60.  She was a beautiful, confident, intelligent woman who raised me to be sure of who I am and even tho I don't receive the compliments I used to, I know from the inside that I don't need or necessarily want the compliments.   She used to tell me that it wasn't the lack of compliments she resented at all, it was the people who stared right thru her as tho she wasn't even standing there!   I'm starting to see it and as she refused (politely) to be invisible, so will I.....   

[Carmie]

@HouseMouse  Maybe you always look really nice and that is how people always see you.

Maybe the people that are getting compliments only look really good on occasion, so when they do finally look good, they get compliments.

I have a SIL who always looks nice.  She is into vanity big time and her life revolves around it.  When we see her we know how she will look, we expect that from her.

i remember one time when she went to the PO and the lady behind the counter told her how nice she looked.  She was so excited that she bragged about that compliment until we were sick of hearing about it.

[Trinity11]

Sometimes it is our demeanor that keeps us from receiving compliments. 

I don't find age has a lot to do with it. If you seem receptive to others, people respond in kind. 

@HouseMouse You just posted about how young women dress on another thread.  Perhaps, your disdain is reflected in the expression on your face. Just a thought...

[number one queen]

Yes, I do know what you mean, I have been noticing this of late. Sometimes I feel invisible when hubby and I go out. I don’t look my age either but there is a certain vibe out there now. I am not a senior citizen in anything but so call age. I don’t know what to say...

[number one queen]

Nascade,you missed our point, I don’t need people to tell me this and that, but I do like it once in a while.

[LolaMontez]

For this very reason, I never hesitate to compliment other women, especially older women, when their hair looks great or they have on a cute top, pretty jewelry or smell really good.  Some people just don't think to do that.  I remember a long time ago I heard someone say, "You've got to make friends with the most interesting person you know."  And of course, that's you.  I've never forgotten that.  Don't be so hard on yourself, Sweetie.  I rarely receive any compliments either, but I don't let it bother me.  Instead of waiting for compliments, why don't you try looking for opportunities to increase the compliments you give and make another women who is feeling like you are feel great that day.  I guarantee you will then receive more compliments in return.  Look in the mirror every morning and say to yourself, "You look beautiful today and I just LOVE you! 

[Lilysmom]

@HouseMouse et al, some interesting comments.  I was thinking about women saying they feel like women of a certain age are invisible.  Do you think men of a certain age are invisible too?  I will be interested in the feedback in that question.

IMO, I think women and men of a certain age are less visible.  I don’t think it is just women.

I am in my early 60’s, fit, active, retired.  I am always busy.  I am involved in committee work where I have an interest.  I don’t feel invisible.  I get less attention than when I was younger but most of the time, I welcome that.  In committee work, I find people are valued for their contributions as opposed to their appearance.

I wonder if OP is retired?  Maybe committee work on issues that are of interest to you would be a good idea.  

Interested to hear replies.  LM

[Catlady Nicole]

I can identify with this.  I've been feeling invisible lately.  I'll be 44 this summer and this past year, I've really noticed I've "disappeared" to others.  I've been toying with getting something "fancy" done with my hair color, I think my natural VERY dark brown is washing me out.  I've tried a half dozen stylists in the last 5 years, and none can seem to give me a good cut that works with my hair, so I keep reverting to my usual style, which I think is aging me too. 

I try to buy clothes with color, and have been accessorizing more lately.  I do notice when I wear a necklace or scarf, people do comment on those things. 

I just started wearing makeup in the last 10 years.  For a while for a while it made me feel confident, but now I feel like I can't leave the house without it.  I feel washed out, sallow even.  No glow.  No radiance. 

Honestly, I think this all works back to my exhaustion.  I'm just so tired.  I haven't felt rested in a few years.  I see my doctor and we just never get a solution to my fatigue.  It makes me sad, I used to feel pretty, and felt like I had fairly effortless "beauty" and style. 

So for now, I just keep trying new things in hopes of finding a winning combination

[GRACIE]

While compliments are nice,if I purchase something that's because I like it. As long you are not getting  rude remarks,except the fact you are looking good.

Like yourself ,You wrote you don't look your age and you dress  nice  that people have told you that. You don't have to told this everyday. Have confidence in yourself, you do not need others to confirm this. I suggest you take a hobby on something you enjoy doing, go for walks,get a pet,all these things will build your self-esteem. 

You lack self-esteem,  not compliments.Love yourself the rest will follow.

[number one queen]

Lilysmom, I thought about bringing that up  when I first posted here,you did hit the nail on the head! Hubby is a young almost 68 , but the difference in how he is looked at and talked to is very different than myself of just turning 65.  I don’t think the Age deal is like it is for women ....talk about white hair men looked distinctive ,attractive. Distinguish. So many things mentioned here are so very different for men