Need to vent....... - Page 5

Melania · ‎06-12-2013

Who is paying for this vacation? You, your duaghter or both of equally contributing.

This may be your daughters way of subtly telling you that they want to vacation with others or with her own children and husband.You need to establish your vacations and not expect others to want to do the same thing or be glued to your hip the entire time.

When we go away if it is not far, we offer for our children to come...if they want. No strings, no set routine etc.

In fact DH and I enjoy our space and also enjoy our children and grandkids but have NO expectations of them. It is THEIR vacation (freetime) as well. We take the grandkids so they can go out as grownups and be couples once again.

Put yourself in their place...they are at busy points on their lives and if they have other children with them it really takes the load off the parents. But remember, their FIRST responsibility is to their oWN families first...not their parents.

Many parents expect their children to become children again and try to dictate their every move or get very territorial. It will backfire, big time if you aren't careful.

Can't you and your spouse find things to do on your own and if they choose to join you, great. I'm sorry that is happening

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

So this family vacation doesn't take place for a year (prebook rooms a year advance)

You only take these planned family vacations every 2-3 years?

I think there's going to be resentment. Many months to build this up. Dd friend has plenty of time to cancel. These are not annual vacations, but very special planned family trips.

I am still going to say I would have told your dd to plan a trip with her friend at another time. (even a mini 3 day weekend trip)

KarenQVC · ‎05-13-2010

This situation is the pits. Your daughter forgot a very simple rule of not inviting others along on a planned event without consulting those going.

I would talk to my other children and just say I was surprised. See how they react. They may talk to your daughter. If you can't do that, I would see how it goes this time. Then decide if you want to organize such a trip in the future.

It is too bad you have to tip toe around your daughter's basic rudeness.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

It would help if we knew who all was going on this vaccation. Your daughter was inconsiderate, she had no right, for any reason, to invite this friend along.

Assuming you have other children going, how happy will they be when they find out? They may have wished to invite a friend of their own and didn't because it was meant to be family.

There is no way to salvage this vacation, your daughter has ruined it and I expect it will be the last one.

nanny24 · ‎04-06-2010

I haven't had time to talk to daughter about this yet. Have been working extra at job due to another employee that is out sick. To those who implied that I am controlling, that is simply not the case. We are a very close knit family,otherwise we would not want to vacation together. We will work this out, and I rather wish I would not have posted this problem on this site, didn't think I would get snarky replies. Lesson learned. To those who were kind and understanding, I thank you.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@occasionalrain wrote:
It would help if we knew who all was going on this vaccation. Your daughter was inconsiderate, she had no right, for any reason, to invite this friend along.

Assuming you have other children going, how happy will they be when they find out? They may have wished to invite a friend of their own and didn't because it was meant to be family.

There is no way to salvage this vacation, your daughter has ruined it and I expect it will be the last one.

@occasionalrain

I'm not sure the vacation is really "ruined" but mom should speak to her daughter ... she was a bit presumptuous inviting a friend without consulting her folks!

scotnovel · ‎12-31-2013

You think of it as family time, but perhaps your daughter does not think of it the same way that you do. I don't know anything about your family, but I do know that sometimes family time can be very trying and even difficult for some family members for lots of reasons. It is possible that your daughter wanted to include others so it can be more like a vacation for her, her husband and kids, and less like the view that you have.

Just a thought, but the fact that you don't feel like you can discuss it with your daughter tells me there may be some underlyng issues there, but again I don't know anything about your family dynamics.