@Annabellethecat66 wrote:
I understand what the OP is saying (most grandparents, especially, can understand).
I have 3 daughters, 2 are married and have 7 children between them. When my husband was alive we all vacationed together.
After he died it has taken a lot of work to get together (different states). Also, the children's ages vary from 3 to 14. I've found that as the children get older they like having THEIR friends with them and get bored more easily.
We also have good friends that before my husband died always got together, rented a huge house (for 26 years), nothing after he died.
People get older and make friends (the children, I'm talking about). As a grandmother I've learned you have to be able to 'grow' with your family and adjust as they change. Grandparents have already done most of our growing and adjusting (this can present a problem in the family dynamics); but only if the grandparents don't adjust.
I've learned to be happy when I can be with my family. They are young, like to do things and it is difficult for me to keep up with them (I'm 70, but in good health).
Your family obviously loves you and your husband very much and I think it is wonderful they are giving up 1 precious week of their vacation to spend time with you and your husband; (you've obviously been a good Mom).
My advice is to (as another poster wisely suggested) plan a few evenings where just your family get together for dinner. Maybe a lunch here and there. However, I would also 'allow' your daughter (if she wants to) to spend some of a day or so with her friends.
You need to think about the positives in this situation.....your family chooses to spend a week with you and your husband, you will have full access to your family (living together) for a week.
You can have wonderful discussions with each family member at different times of the day (that's priceless). How often do you get to wake up early and see your daughter's smiling face, or give her a kiss good night? You'll have lots of time to spend with your grandchildren here and there and they won't resent the fact that they are 'stuck' (as older kids sometimes do) there. It's not a reflection on their love for grandparents or parents, they separate the love with being bored, you must remember that.
You might find that this might be one of the best years yet. You need to learn that family dynamics change all of the time. As grandparents we must always believe our children as adults love us; but they need to be able to grow and change with THEIR family.
Again, think of it this way, they are choosing to spend 1 week with you and your husband (giving up 1 week of precious vacation time), your daughter is married with a family, everything isn't always her choice. Have you thought about that? You're married, did your husband always go along with EVERYTHING you wanted? Maybe he'd like to spend time with these friends too.
Finally, you are lucky, now go ahead and have the best time you've ever had. Every morning walk over to that daughter of yours and give her a big "good morning" hug and at night give her a "good night" hug because you can do that for one whole week.
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