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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,534
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Has anyone gone through marriage counseling? If so, did it save your marriage?  I am asking for personal reasons of course.  Married 12 years, no infidelity, and he is a good person.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,275
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

"HE" thought "I" was the one who needed help....and just sat there like a rock (as usual).   Total waste of time in MY case..............

♥Surface of the Sun♥
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,504
Registered: ‎03-18-2010

Yes.  Definitely helps!!  We've been married 50 years (2020) and have had our ups and downs.  Not going into detail about our problems.  Make sure you find a therapist that is right for you.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,365
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

@Tgbtg   Yes it did help.  My SO and I went to couples counseling many years ago because we were having issues communicating in every day life.  It seems that things you find endearing at the beginning of a relationship are the things that can cause issues after many years in many relationships.  He is a glass has a leak and I am a glass overflowing type of person.  We did learn how to communicate without an argument and we have been together now about 36 years!

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,701
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Helped me to better understand myself.

I love my pups!
Valued Contributor
Posts: 794
Registered: ‎04-25-2020

@Tgbtg Yes, we went, but unfortunaely for us it did not help.  I wish you better results.

I would give everything I own just to have you back again.......David Gates of Bread
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,222
Registered: ‎03-26-2010

Only good if you are both honest with the therapist..in my case, dh told her everything she wanted to hear, she thought he was so wonderful; what he was being is manipulative. He didn't want to be there.... Anyways....we got through tough times on our own, and 27 years later still together.  Find someone that can see through the BS.

Take time every day to enjoy where you are without a need to fix it
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,601
Registered: ‎01-18-2012

@Tgbtg  I trained and worked in London as a Marriage Guidance Counsellor.  Speaking from my own experiences I believe we helped quite a few couples.  Of course, not everyone successful.

 

It always seemed the female in the relationship approached first and after a few sessions the husband would come 'just to check what his wife  was doing' as her behaviour was 'different' since she started coming to counselling.  That was good then you have a couple to work with.


Obviously, if you are thinking along these lines you are open for discussion/help which is a good place to start.  Wishing you the best.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,345
Registered: ‎03-03-2011

Just remember that a long term relationship is one thing in life that money can't buy so if you are in one work at it. Everything requires maintenance. If counseling might help try it.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,117
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Same as @Desertdi .

After trying different counselors (one size does NOT fit all! and exH wanted someone who would agree with him, of course) we found one who was just the best. I stayed with the counselor after exH left.