Among Friends

[qvcaddition]

@Black Cat Back 

Hope you feel better today.  

I just got through making chicken soup and that smart dog of mine would not. Stop following me, she could smell it.  She just ate a bowl of it.  It had lots of veggies in it and rice.  Now it will take a couple of days to get her back to her reg food which I also cook n put veggies in it.  You

could say she is spoiled, but she is my love and family.

She got her walk in the rain yesterday with her yellow slicker on.

She has a good life, but also is a good girl and gives me lots of company.

When I volunteered at Kaiser, she was trained to be a therapy dog. A legal one and we would visit patients.  The Dr.s and nurses love to pet the dogs.  Was good for stresss.  Most patients also loved it.

When I have chicken  soup for dinner, I will put a bowl out for you.  I hope you feel better today and have a pleasant night. Hugs and love.💖😀

[Black Cat Back]

Chicken soup sounds delightful.  It's chilly here today too... cloudy, rainy and around 60.   I need to make some homemade soup.  In a pinch, I doctor up the Campbell's noodle soup by adding frozen peas and extra noodles (sometimes I buy the Ramen pkgs and just take out the noodles).  It makes a canned soup much more hearty.  If I have leftover chicken, I'll add it.  But, if I had time, I'd make it homemade.  Much better (and less salty).

My stomach was a bit in an uproar this week.   So tonight I made scrambled eggs and waffles.  I got one of those little waffle makers from QVC and it works nicely.   When I watch QVC lately, seems like they are selling the same merchandise from last Christmas this time too.  

My dept is interviewing for a new boss.  The previous boss left (thank goodness).  She was not nice.  She especially liked to bully me.  The one candidate was incredible.  I'd love to have him as the boss.  He was friendly and funny and had so much enthusiasm.  We don't have much of a say over who gets hired, but he would really make a difference.  We'll see.  Upper mgt will probably hire the boring one, who had no people skills. 

Not much on the new home front.  I'm going to have to rent but rentals are really expensive.   I want a townhome/patio home, like I live in now.  I've been spoiled for 20 years... and the rent was never raised in all that time.   To have to go to an apt is overwhelming for me.  I like privacy and wouldn't feel comfortable around all those people.   I am a safety nut, and I feel so safe right now.  When I start thinking about it, I get so scared.

Need to go get my 2nd Covid booster next week.  Last time I had a slight fever and felt achy and cold all day.   I got my flu shot and need to get the Covid one too now.  I should get shingles shot too, but I am not getting them all at the same time.  A guy at work got the shingles, flu and Covid shots all together.  He said he could barely move.  That is a bit foolish, I think.

One more day of work and then a 3 day weekend.  I'm looking forward mostly to sleeping in.  I have to get up at 4:30am to get to work by 6:30am.  I'm just exhausted doing that 5x a week.   It's nice to not have to get up to an alarm clock for a few days. 

Hope you are doing well.  Wish I could have shared a bowl of soup with you!   Take good care... Love & hugs back!!!

[Black Cat Back]

@qvcaddition 

How wonderful that Melanie was a therapy dog.  That is amazing.  I used to work in a hospital and we loved when the therapy dogs came to visit patients.  It really lifted them and even us too in the office.  Animals bring so much joy.   I grew up with dogs and have had cats too.   My pets were my family too... I loved them so much.

[qvcaddition]

@Black Cat Back 

Wow you do get up early. Glad you have a day off on Vets day.

I remember WW11. I was eight when it ended and still remember the celebrations.

I also remember during the war, we had Air Raids in SF and I had to wear a dog tag, that's what they were called, around my neck, and still have it.  All the kids in school did, so in case we were bombed, they could identify us.

My dad was in the Army for four years.  I remember when he came home on leave before they sent him overseas,  as he was returning from the two weeks they gave him, I looked out our bay window and watched his back with his duffel bag over his shoulder  as he walked away.  So sad, not knowing if we would ever see him again.  We were one of the lucky ones, because he was able to come home.

My Grandmother, was not an American citizen yet, and being Italian, though she had a son in the service, she could not go out before sunset, and had to be in before sundown.

Italy had sided with Germany.  She became a citizen after the war.  i tested her on her questions. She would answer me in Italian and I would say, No Grandma, English.

She was a tough old bird.  She learned to speak English. They did have a school in North Beach to help immigrants learn English.

She used to deal in the black market in those days that is what it was called to get stuff, you couldn't get in the free market.

She once got chocolates, Hershey,, a couple of boxes to send to my dad with other stuff.  She hid them under the couch. One day, i was playing hide and seek and found them.  In the course of time before she packed them to send, I had eaten 1/2 a box.  Boy was she angry with me.

All those men and women that fought in all the wars should be honor. Some are turning over in their graves to see our world today .  Too sad.

I worked in medical field also for Kaiser. Worst job I had as a Med i cal biller.  The fraud that went on there.

I finally applied for Workers Comp and got that job.

When they had to let people go in the 90's, I went to work in another hospital in the ER.  That was a very interesting and real busy job.  Never a dull moment

The busiest shift was 3 to 11.  I liked the 7 to 2 shift.  I also worked the 11 to 7 shift. That was slow, so I did a lot of paper work. 

I know it's very stressful to have to look for a new living place.

Where you are now sounds lovely.  

Try this.  Write what you want to find, the type of place and where you want to live.  Be very specific down to every detail.  Also picture it in your mind. Say it outloud. 

I know it might sound silly, but I have done this in the past and it works.  Be very positive when you are writing about it.

Also the amount you can afford to spend.

It won't hurt to try and something can come out of it.  Also, it might help you to work through being scared.

I have a saying I use a lot when I get scared or nervous.  IT's FACE YOUR FEARS.

I wrote a speech about it in one of my classes when I went to college for the time in my 70's.

I was scared, but thought, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I graduated at age 72, made the Deans list, gave the graduation speech and got a scholarship.  

I have lived in this house, brought it while it was being built 46 years ago.  I tried to move in 2007, but things happened to prevent me from doing so.

Well TennisBuf, I hope you get some rest and enjoy the three day weekend.  I'm off to Costco today.

By the way, Melanie has her own Kaiser badge just like members.

Take care, think positive and I hope it helps. Hugs:

Forgot to mention, I have been with QVC for over 25years and almost lost my house buying so much.  This was in the days of great stuff.  The victorian stuff, Kirk's follies. I also have the waffel maker.  My whole house is practially QVC, but buy very little now.  Even at 86, I still get Mally's stuff, because I like to fix my face, and love Harry Slakin candles and Dr. Denise to name a few.  They don't have the great programs for me they use to have, so it saves me money.  Nick Chavez has been very good for my hair.  Love his products and him, but he is not on much anymore, so I buy from his website or on Amazon. Don't use anyother hair products but his, they work for me.

OK, will shut up for now.  love.

[Black Cat Back]

@qvcaddition 

Loved your memories of WWII time.  What a different era than we're in now.  The story of your grandmother is beautiful.  My mother's family immigrated to Canada from Poland in the 30's.  I doubt most young people even know much about WWII and all the history of this country.   They take our country for granted and all who died for all we have.  

I didn't realize you were in the healthcare profession.  I wasn't medically trained, but worked in medical eduation (grand rounds) for physicians.  I was more in PR for the hospital and its services.   It was interesting and important work for sure.  Working in the ER I'm sure you've seen everything.  I remember the stories, especially the overnight shifts. I love how the therapy dogs have their own badge.  It's so cute.  The police dogs where I work have their own picture badges too.

I like your idea of writing down my intentions for a new home.  I have to learn to move the negative and fearful thoughts out.   I'm a worrier by nature.  Takes a lot for me to stay optimistic.  I get discouraged very easily.  Face my Fears!!   Need to repeat it over and over.  Thank you for your support. 

Yeah, I went crazy for awhile buying from QVC.  They used to have more affordable jewelry (gold, silver & pearls).  I love all the pieces I bought and get a lot of compliments, but I haven't bought much lately.  I haven't bought a lot of clothes from QVC,  I have some Lock 'n Lock pieces and bought some Shark vacuums that I really like.  But, I agree, the inventory and quality have gone down. I used to just love watching to pass the time, but that is boring these days.  

I'm planning to take a nice walk later and maybe... maybe bake some cookies later.    I'll put out a plate for you of my oatmeal/cranberry chocolate chip cookies.  LOL!   

Take care.  Hope your shopping trip to Costco was successful.  Love and hugs!

[qvcaddition]

@Black Cat Back 

I would love the cookies.   Baking and cooking if you like it is good therapy.

My son that lives 20 miles just texted me, he knows I love Mexican food and said he is making enchiladas and will meet me in the morning at McDonald's for coffee and give me a big plate, a meal for a couple of days.  He is a great cook. Even as a little kid, he would be watching Football and making Toll House cookies at the same time.

He is now retired and plays golf . His wife still works. She is a RN. 

This is the son that is so good to me.  The one that lives a mile away I rarely see, but he still works and his wife has Alzheimer's and he takes care of her.  He said he got married for better or for worse and this is the worst.  He does need to get a caregiver, because though he works from home, it's tough.  

Was your Mother's family able to escape the horrible stuff that happen in Poland?  I loved Canada when I visited a few years ago. 

I;m glad you are going to take the positive road.  Writing it down really worked for me. Be specific. Never say, I will, say I Am.  I took a lot of positive thinking classes and read a lot of positive thinking books, because I use to be afraid a lot and negative. 

I'm not going religion on you, but I read the bible a lot , first thing in morning and last thing at night. I remember a scripture, I won't quote it, but it says, the devil likes us to be fearful and depressed.  I do not go to church and do not belong to any religion, but believe in the almighty and have a lot of faith.  I have been helped through a lot of bad stuff. Also given a lot of good stuff and wonderful people came into my life, I feel through my faith.

Now, as far as facing you fears.  This will be long, so you might have to read in a couple of days.

My grandmother got me a job with BofA at the time my children's father and I were getting a divorce. I had been a homemaker for 15 years and was so scared, but I needed money, so I went on the interview.  Well Grandma's influence, I was hired.  I hated the job.  As I gained more confidence, she got me another job at a big fancy hotel in SF. She also knew the owner of the restaurant at this hotel. Grandma had a lot of connections.  This was a cocktail waitress position at a very very good place, very high class.  I was so scared, but knew I had to try.  It was not an Hispanic restaurant, but the mgr. asked if i could speak Spanish.  I said, Si.  He hired me and I never had to speak Spanish.  I even told him, I only knew two drinks, one red, bloody mary, and one orange, a screw driver.

I waited on very prominent people. The Hearst family, Mayor of SF at the time, Howard Duff the movie star and a Senator that was going over to where Jim Jones was going to do the kool Aid.  The Senator that was killed and his sec. who now is retiring from congress. I don't want to say her name. I was scared, but what an opportunity and I hated office jobs.  Well, I learned very quick and made enough in tips to just work the weekends and be home for my kids during school days.

I also became an insurance Agent in later years for Metropolitan Life.  Another opportunity that came up through grandma.  When I went to take the State Board test, these guys would come up to me and say, don't worry honey, you won't pass the first time, we didn't, tough test.  Well, I got scared, but had studied hard.  A week later, I had my license in the mail. Now, I was scared to go door to door, it was safe then, but the salary was good and I could still keep the cocktail job on weekends and support me and the kids.

I am telling you this because if I had given in to my fear, I would have missed a lot. Good money, and meeting nice people.  Having fear and shuting down, will just make you depressed and a waste of your talents. I didn't know how to do any of these jobs in the beginning, but learn darn fast if I wanted to keep them. I have to say it was a better world then and people were helpful, and patient.

After i retired, a friend of mine who is a minister,  said to me one day, why don't you do weddings, you are good with people. Me, How would I do that?  Well, I was scared but thought, what the heck, i should try.  So, I took about a year, made my cards on the computer, she gave me some instructions .

My first wedding was suppose to be my best friends son, but it turned out, this minister sent me a couple.  I did a lot of work on it because marriage is serious business and I wanted to do the best I could. 

My first wedding was at the Best Man's winery and overlooking a cliff.  I figured if messed up, I would walk backwards and drop off the cliff.  I practiced the sermon a lot on my cat at the time.  I memorized it, so I could look into their eyes while I was speaking.  It went beautifully and when I retired for good, I have performed 55 wedding ceremonies all over CA. 

I have beautiful thank you cards and notes and pictures.. I even performed two grandchildren's wedding.  

Point being in the beginning, I was very scared, but thought, FACE YOUR Fears.  I live by that today.

Just trying to encourage you.  You can do anything you set your mind to do is my belief. I was also scared to start college in my early 70's. Afraid people would laugh at me. They didn't, just a few said, What are you going to be when you grow up.

I said, I may never grow up. I was afraid to give the commencement speech, even tried to get out of it, but they insisted and glad they did because I got a standing O and two women came up to me and said they were in their 60's and afraid they were too old for college. Well my speech title was, NO AGE LIMIT.  They said they were enrolling and good for them.

I have a card that says, Everything you want is on the other side of Fear. Author George Addair.

Well, as usual I got carried away.  

Got to finish cleaning house, not that is gets dirty. My sister is calling from WA tomorrow and that is a good 4 to 5 hr conversation.  Everything from religion, politics, movies, books, and how messed up things are right now.

I hope you enjoy your weekend and cookies.  Thank you for mine, yum.  Hugs and keep writing your positive thoughts on what you want and need.  love.

[Black Cat Back]

@qvcaddition 

Thank you for your beautiful post.   I needed to read that today.  You have had a lot of experiences and had a lot of courage.  Such an interesting work history too.   You should be so proud of all you've accomplished and all you have gone through and survived.  Your job at the SF hotel sounds so interesting and exciting.  I'm with you, I don't like office jobs.  I worked in radio for a few years and loved that industry (it was an office job, but so fun).  I just couldn't make a living there. 

I think I don't give myself enough credit.  I have survived a lot (on my own mostly).   I took care of my parents for many years and was there for them at the end.   Sometimes, I did it at the detriment of not having a social life of my own for a long time.   But, I would do it again in a heartbeat. I had to deal with my siblings coming after me when they died and now not having any family in  my life anymore.  I lost a job of 20 years and spent 18 mos dealing with the grief of losing my dad  and having to look for a new job before I found another one.  I have survived a boss who tried over and over to get me to leave my job by making up bogus investigations that amounted to nothing just to see if she could break me.   I never let her, but it caused me PTSD and a lot of wasted years just trying to survive her wrath.  She's now gone, but I think those years of living in that fear broke me a bit and made me less able to trust and move forward as I need to now.  I've really had to do everything by myself since my parents are gone.   I have no support, no real friends who would rush to my side... I feel total overwhelm and have to find my faith again.

I am not religious either... but I wonder sometimes where God has gone for me.  I leave one situation that caused me pain and torment into another when all I prayed for was peace.   I give and give to my friends, but I have to remind them I exist for them to remember to check on me.  After awhile, it gets disheartening.  You are stronger than I am.  I'm afraid of the next shoe dropping.   I'm afraid of making wrong decisions. I'm afraid of doing the wrong thing.

Anyway, thank you for your words of wisdom.  They do help me. 

I'm glad your son met up with you and gave you some meals.  Your other son isn't aware of the wonderful Mom he has and takes you for granted.

My Mom escaped Poland as a little girl because of the Nazi threat and first my grandfather wasn't going to leave.  My grandmother said she would take the children no matter what he wanted to do.   I wouldn't be here if they hadn't left.   My father was from the States... they had a storybook meeting... by chance which could be a Hallmark Channel movie. LOL.

I keep asking people I know to keep their eyes and ears open should then know someone who is looking to rent their home.  I know word of mouth is important.  I'm also on some real estate MLS feeds in my email to alert me of property that comes up for rent.   But, most often, those opportunities never materialize for me... I keep hoping and trying, I just wish once I'd know the meaning of opportunity knocking.  There's a saying "Luck is when preparation meets opportunity,"  I prepare and try,but luck still hasn't shown itself just yet.

Thanks again for your words of support and guidance.  Your concern and caring mean so much.  Love and hugs!!

[qvcaddition]

@Black Cat Back 

You have survived quite a lot. Be very proud of yourself for taking time and care of your parents.  It is a very rare thing today.  We don,t have children to take care of use in later years, but because we wanted them and we want a family.  My sisters doesn't,t have children, never wanted them, but loves other people,s children.

You gave up a social life, but I can tell you loved your parents very much and do not have any  regrets.  That is true love, not an obligation and I commend you.  I wish  my family felt that love for me.  Your parents were very lucky.

The son that bought me the food today, and it was so good. , shows love for me all the time. He does not understand the other two.  He says, they have a hard  cold heart like their father.

I have three more days  of his wonderful meals. Such a good cook and son..

He does all the repairs. Washer dryer, some of the electric grid..  The siding on the house, many things.  He retired a couple years ago. He was an inspector for the city in construction.

The other son, older than him, chose to work a couple more years.

All three children very successful, so I feel I did my job as a single parent, raising them to be responsible citizens.  They did the rest.

I,m glad your grandmother took her children, your Mother being one of them, and insisting your grandfather leave Poland or she would go without him.  Sounds like she was a strong women.  That was a horrible time.

I read a lot of books on Jewish survival  and watch a lot of movies and documentaries.  I can,t begin to tell you of  all the survival horror stories I,ve read.  My heart goes out to the Holocaust survivors.

Please do not lose faith in God.  I  have gotten so much help from reading scripture.  Each person has to find their own faith in God, but if you look, it,s there.  You know the devil wants you not to have faith.

If you ever want me to give you scripture on how to deal with anxiety let me know, because I don,t want to push Bible on anyone, it just helps me to cope..

If friends are not there for you, they are not friends. Stop giving and cut them lose. They are using you.  There are good people out there.  I use to buy my friends,  but what I thought was a friendship was one sided.  

Please start thinking about yourself and work on yourself and stop being afraid. We all have fearful moments, but have to face them and plow through.  You have proven how strong you can be so you can do

 All I can tell you is,  being afraid of everything is not going to get you out of misery, but put you in more misery.  It's natural to be cautious, but being so afraid of everything, will get you nowhere.

You are stronger then you think. I am not stronger than you. I just refuse to be stuck in a place I don,t want to be, a victim.  I,m a survivor and so are you.

You have to be your own best friend.  At my age, my friends are dead or have dementia, so I just have me and I have to be good to me and take care of me. No one else will in the long run.  Be your own best friend.

So don,t be a victim, be a Victor. O K?  It,s not easy, I know.

My sister and I spoke on the phone today from 2to 6.  I had to cut her short then.  My phone was beeping, it was going to go dead.  Her partner was working a 24 hour shift.  Her partner is a caregiver for disable children at a home, so she had the 24 hr. Shift. So my sister,  who just had surgery on her knee three weeks ago,  was home alone, but doing better, still in pain.  They just lost their dog of 17 years, so she is very sad. I would be up there with them if I didn,t have Mellie.  Taking a trip with the dog is too much for me by plane.  

Well, going to try and sleep.  It,s 2:50AM.  I slept on the couch  for five hours watching TV.  Have a pleasant Sunday if you can.  I use to take myself to lunch, a movie or go shopping.  Take care.  Love and praying for you.

[Black Cat Back]

@qvcaddition 

Thank you for your kind words as always.  I'm trying to stay strong.  I think if I had people here who were supportive it would be easier.  It's hard knowing I have to face everything alone.  I laugh at "friends" who say "I'm thinking of you," who could easily make a call, text or just touch base personally.  If they stay silent and don't ever interact, how do I know they are thinking of me.  I make calls, text and make a connection.   It's so easy for people near you to say they are thinking of you but in those cases, it's just words.

I just wish I had more strength to dig in and move forward.  I'm stalled right now, mentally, emotionally... at times physically.   I have read passages that a lady who was my neighbor years ago shared with me, Psalm 26 & 27.

I don't mean to complain.  I know I am suffering from some depression and that doesn't help matters.   I won't go on meds.  Those scare me. 

I am going to go for a long walk soon, watch some football later.  I made a new dip to try... salmon dip with cream cheese, onions and mayo.  Hope it isn't too spicy.   I don't like spicy foods.   I'll watch some football, eat (nosh mostly) and get ready for another week at work.  I plan to get my 2nd Covid booster on Wed after work.  Hope I won't feel too bad on Thurs.   I don't want to get it, I'm very careful, I wear a mask in public, but I think it's a good thing to do. 

Glad you had a nice long chat with your sister.  That is very special.  Cherish that and treasure it.   I can go a whole weekend and never hear from anyone... via phone, text.   Those moments you have with her to talk and share your time are so precious.

Take good care... as always, I so appreciate your responses and caring.  Have a good evening. Go 49ers tonight!   Love and hugs!!

[qvcaddition]

@Black Cat Back 

Glad you are walking and your favorite team is playing.

I just did yard clean up and took Mel. for two mile walk.

Yes, I am lucky to have two people in my life who love me.

I am looking into to cutting my cable because the bill is going up to high.  I will keep the internet and maybe get roku or a fire stick.  I have been getting good advise on the Electonics forum.

Sorry about your depression.  I would not want to go on meds either.  Maybe talking to a therapist would help.

Well , enjoy the 49'ers and hope they win. Your dip sounds good.  We differ there, I love spicy foods.  Hugs to you.