Among Friends

[Marienkaefer2]

I will also add another tip....whenever you are feeling particularly down on yourself...go out and help someone in need.

This can take many forms. I volunteer to help kids read.
They look forward to our meetings and we all enjoy the time spent together.

When you are helping others, you don't focus on yourself, and you will experience a joy and confidence unlike any other.

[Posh Poodle]

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That is so kind @GingerHead ! We've all been there where the OP @CherryHugs has been, haven't we? These boards can get quite contentious and unnecessarily ugly.  So it's encouraging to read a thread that's on the positive side--and productive and effective towards helping others!

@GingerHead wrote:

   I just gotta say I think everyone of you are Beautiful, inside and out! 

 We are alive and well enough to share and support each other and that's truely a beautiful thing in my book.

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[AuntG]

You have all kinds of good qualities @CherryHugs. I think the step family is a bit jealous of you. 

[CherryHugs]

OMGOSH everyone!  I appreciate all the kind comments and all of the support SO much, I mean that!   All of you made me feel

so good and I love every message. 

I cried reading them! Yes I am an emotional person and always tear up or cry easily and always have.

This is what my husband said about this * someone asked here* 

He knows I am sensitive and always seem to need approval

and reassurance to feel good about myself.  But he said 

you know you look nice and they know it, and to just be ok with

no one saying anything. Plus said you know you are a good 

person. And to not let anyone steal my joy.

[CherryHugs]

I need so much to realize that trying to get self worth from anyone else is a set up for failure! I know you are all saying this and I need to believe and understand that.   Thank you everyone for your kindness and all the postive comments.  God Bless all of you always. 

[chrystaltree]

I don't know what your family situation is or what you mean by "step family" but it sounds to me like you aren't really bonded to this family.  It's not about compliments.  You are not part of their circle so they ignore you.  They don't notice you or pretend they don't. When we say "I love your sweater" it's often not about the sweater.  It's a reaching out to that person, connect, making them feel good, engaging in conversation.  They aren't interested in any of that with you.  I think this isn't really about compliments.  You want to be accepted and valued as part of the family.  

.

[Natureluvr]

I think talking with a therapist may be helpful in learning how to improve self-confidence, especially if you have been struggling with this for a long time. It usually takes some time and effort to change patterns of thinking but it will be worth it in order to feel better about yourself. Feeling insecure is very unpleasant and I hope you find a way to love yourself without waiting for approval from others. 🩷

[CalminHeart]

I'm sorry you feel this way. It's tough. 

Your self-confidence needs to come from within you. You aren't getting what you need from others so you have to give it to yourself.  Easier said than done, I know.

Some counseling would help you too. 

[CherryHugs]

@chrystaltree  I feel youre exactly right! Sometimes they act like I am not even there. I could leave and they wouldnt notice!

[Effie54]

I'm sorry to have to go through feeling like this. I totally understand how you feel. It's sad when you try your best, are a kind and thoughtful person and....nothing. That's pretty much my family. No compliment....nothing. They compliment each other ad nausem. I get through it by knowing that I've done my very best and that's good enough. My husband's family....are a dream! Very kind, thoughtful and generous. So I'm lucky there. But hang in there, be kind and gentle to yourself and know you did your best.