Among Friends

[kindred cats]

@CherryHugs 

Our fellow posters who said those around you are jealous...I think could be right and they won't give you the satisfaction of any compliments or nice talk.

I tried for over 60 years to get my sister to be nice to me.  I wouldn't accept my DH's obvious explanation every time...."she's jealous of you".  I am 70 and have finally accepted the fact she will never change and let me in.  Done trying...  I suggest you don't waste years of your special life with people that don't appreciate who you are.

BTW, every once in awhile I'm getting dressed or catch myself in the mirror and say out loud..."Not bad for 70 years old!!!".... been doing that throughout the years.  Puts a smile on your face, try it.  "Not bad for 37 years old...!!!"  Lookin' good girl...!!!

Have a great day. 

[Ronettes]

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@SilleeMee wrote:

There are days when I feel invisible like no one sees or cares about me. Those days seem to come more often the older I get. I know that sounds sad and I'm not bragging, but I used to be a head-turner beauty with lots of influential appeal. It's gone now and I just live my life the way my cards have fallen. I haven't given up though. I try to keep looking my best and I don't give a hoot what others might think of it.

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I grew up in a dreadful family, and felt invisible through childhood and being a teenager, I thought I was nothing.

I packed up and left after my Dad went after my Mother, I was just a kid but I had to get out of that fearful abusive environment.

Took years to realize that I wasn't invisible, that we all matter, so I know exactly where you're coming from, it's a terrible feeling.

But we judge ourselves more harshly than others do, and I'm sure your appearance is much better than you think.

Keep taking care of yourself, life is short and we need to stay happy!

[NEvans2]

@CherryHugs  I understand where you're coming from. I'm 68 years old, I have no problems with self esteem or self confidence and I'm definitely an extrovert. I know when I look good and when I don't. I don't need compliments from other people, but it's sure nice to get one now and then.❤

[Ronettes]

@GingerHead 

Good for you!

I think that families have no idea how they can destroy the moral of little girls. When no one tells you that you are pretty or smart or important, etc., when you're young, it affects us.

I don't think they ever realize that.

[GingerHead]

   I just gotta say I think everyone of you are Beautiful, inside and out! 

 We are alive and well enough to share and support each other and that's truely a beautiful thing in my book.

[DSD2]

I think you expressed yourself beautifully. You were honest and explained the situation perfectly.

We all yearn to be accepted. To be loved. Hearing a kind word or compliment can mean the world. There is a bit of loneliness in all of us...

My advice to you is to be what I think is your sweet, wonderful self. Be the person you wish others to be to you. Give compliments sincerely and make others feel appreciated. There is joy in selflessness.

Please don't rely on others to enhance your self esteem. You have the power to do that yourself.

Finally, I hope you do have some family and/or friends who cherish you for the treasure you are. If not, please widen your circle of friends. It's not easy, but you deserve approval and love, just like everyone else.

Hugs and the best of luck.

[AZfem]

@CherryHugs Do you have bio or other family & friends who support you?  If so, stick with them. 

It might help you to read some self help books or get therapy to find methods to boost your confidence. 

Can tell you from experience, there are some people who never compliment others. Its who they are. 

Realize you are wonderful the way you are. Tell yourself that daily. Don't look for validation from others. If you like who you are that's all that matters. 

It sounds like because they don't validate you, it makes you desperate to keep seeking it from them. STOP right now  & leave it alone   You'll probably never get it from them for whatever reason. Move on. 

As you get older, hopefully you'll feel stronger more secure in yourself. That's one of the benefits of age. 

Wishing you wisdom & strength. 

[Marienkaefer2]

Get comfortable with yourself. If you rely on other people to give you positive feedback, you will never be happy.

People aren't like that. Most people are so absorbed in themselves and aren't focused on others.

I grew up in a family, that while a great family, was not good with compliments. My mom never experienced this from her parents, and my grandparents never experienced it from their parents.

I wish when I was in my twenties I had learner to overcome this.

What I can tell you now is, be who you are and be proud of yourself!

Don't second guess or think less of yourself because you're not getting approval from your step family or anyone else. If you are happy with who you are, that's all that matters.

[BoopOMatic]

 This is a great thread! 

[AZfem]

@CherryHugs Thought of something else. Did you ever see or read "Bridget Jones Diary"?  Mark Darcy said to Bridget" I like you just as you are". She was astonished & her friends were when she told them that too. What - you don't have to dress better, be prettier, loose 10 pounds, be smarter, etc. You're OK as you are!  What a new idea!

This is what you have to channel. Your good just as you are. You need to attract people in your life who feel that way about you. Visualize or say affirmations or pray to that end.