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Super Contributor
Posts: 459
Registered: ‎06-27-2011

@CherryHugs your post moved me to respond.

 

First I don't think you're insecure. You may be introverted or shy as you stated but insecurity is a different matter.

I've noticed this in a lot of people but there's some out there who wouldn't compliment anybody for any reason whatsoever. I agree with a previous reply to you that your family sounds jealous. 

 

There are some people I know who never initiate talking to me (or others) or never given a compliment. It seems I always have to greet them in conversation or give them a positive word. It does get a little discouraging. And then there are others who are uplifting.

 

You can't make people like you and you can't appease or please people. So don't waste your valuable energy. 
Keep doing your usual beauty and fashion choices because you are worthy of that. 
Surround yourself with people who are positive and like-minded as you. Maybe volunteer with an agency. Or send cards to shut-ins. 
Think about this by asking yourself: where does my identity as a woman and person come from?

Your life is priceless and beautiful!

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 40,913
Registered: ‎05-22-2016

There are days when I feel invisible like no one sees or cares about me. Those days seem to come more often the older I get. I know that sounds sad and I'm not bragging, but I used to be a head-turner beauty with lots of influential appeal. It's gone now and I just live my life the way my cards have fallen. I haven't given up though. I try to keep looking my best and I don't give a hoot what others might think of it.

Super Contributor
Posts: 495
Registered: ‎06-14-2010

@CherryHugs  I can compliment you right now on the traits you listed that you possess.  Do you support yourself?  Do you work hard?  Are you there for people that need you?  Be proud of those things.  Quit trying to please others and be the best person you can be.  To people that matter, that's all they want.  Finally, compliment yourself.. I look pretty darn good and my hair did great today, just little things.  And if it's an issue you just can't overcome, talk to someone.  There are great women counselors out there and that's a positive step too.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,312
Registered: ‎05-15-2014

@Queen of shop Nice advice Smiley Happy

Super Contributor
Posts: 266
Registered: ‎03-23-2012

Have you discussed this with your husband?

 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,312
Registered: ‎05-15-2014

@CherryHugs I'm sorry that you feel this way.  I know a bit about it as I've never been one to be complimented on my looks or fashion either and at times in my life it has been hurtful.  I am a good person, a good mom and was a hard worker all of my working years.

I always complimented others along the way and I always have a smile for you.   DH put it all in perspective for me once...........he said people always want to be around you and you don't even realize it, some are jealous of your looks and your happy/positive disposition.  

Others just wish they were you.   

 

I just turned 63 yesterday and I'm still a happy person, happy to be here after surviving breast cancer and feel I've done my best and you know what?  It's good enough.  Feel better Smiley Happy

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,950
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@CherryHugs 

 

   I understand, I've always been terribly shy and introverted. 

Growing up I was pale as a ghost (redhead) and POW skinny....not a good look and my dad  seemed to be obsessed with and complemented women freely who looked nothing like me (he was big on tans for some reason, etc, maybe silly but it stood out to me at the time) and never complimented me.  So that really affected me early on. 

Family members should but sometimes don't know the affects they can have on one another especially young women. So I get that. 

 

Also one thing that could be going on is that you are putting off a vibe that you don't want to be noticed or it seems like you'd feel uncomfortable being the center of attention in that way, especially since you describe yourself as shy and introverted.

Some people do feel uncomfortable accepting compliments and maybe that's a little of what could be going on....people are not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable.

 

Try this little trick I love....When  I look in the mirror instead of instantly picking myself apart like I used to do, I like to say hello beautiful with a big smile and it's really a mind reset. Sometimes we need to nuture and give our inner child the love and attention we didn't get growing up, etc.Woman Wink

 

 

 

"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals" -Immanuel Kant

"Once you have had a wonderful Dog, a life without one, is a life diminished"-Dean Koontz
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,884
Registered: ‎01-15-2017

@LindaSal  Happy Birthday! Hope you had a great day yesterday!🎂🎉❤

Honored Contributor
Posts: 37,345
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@CherryHugs 

 

You are looking for validation through at least being recognized for your role as part of the step family.

Forvthem to not even give you that is a shame.

We ALL need this recognition... after all, we are all part of the "human family".

 

As others have mentioned, when their behavior affects our confidence and self-esteem, it is time to start making other plans that do not include spending time with them.

I am sorry to have to tell you this💔

 

~Have a Kind Heart, Fierce Mind, Brave Spirit~
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,431
Registered: ‎07-10-2011

@CherryHugs  are you a step daughter through your mom or your dad? Either way maybe they feel jealous because of the closeness you have with that person. You don't need them to compliment you. You know you look good and just keep loving yourself.

 

Look in the mirror and love what you see. You are all that.

 

Me, now I don't like compliments but I always say "thank you".

 

At least once a day you should say "I know I look good". There seems to be a lot of jealousy going on with the people you hang out with.

 

If you do something for someone and you feel good about doing it, that's what counts.

 

And by the way, you are not ugly or stupid. I bet you are more intelligent than all of them put together. So claim it.