Re: How do I Politely Decline a Wedding Invitation... - Page 3

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

A save the date card is not an invitation. You do not have to respond.

Wait for the actual invitation. There will be a way to accept or decline with the invite....either return the response by mail or as a lot of couples do today, just decline on the internet. Many couples use " The Knot" website.

There is no explanation needed. Just a yes or no.

You're getting ahead of yourself here. Wait for the invitation.

After you decline, you can always send a gift or card with $ with a note saying you are sorry you couldn't be there, but your thoughts will be with them.

Who knows? Maybe you will change your mind again and decide to attend.

Allegheny · ‎03-19-2010

@ThinkingOutLoud wrote:
To me, this situation depends on how well you know the bride and she you. If it was a courtesy invite because of her grandparents/your friends, that's one thing but if you and she have had interactions, that's another.

If the latter, your attendance will mean more to her long-term than your personal short-term 'don't feel like it' feelings because this isn't about you.

4 hours is not an entire weekend. Depending on the timing of things:
- drive down at noon for a 4pm ceremony, stay for the dinner/reception, spend the night, drive back the next morning, home by noon
- drive down after dinner, spend the night, noon ceremony, stay for part of the celebration, drive home in time for dinner

Just over a year ago, I made a 2 hour drive (each way) to a wedding and celebration - left in the morning, was home in time to go to bed. A full day but it didn't take the entire weekend. It can be done.

Maybe look at your attendance as part of the gift.

I tend to agree with @ThinkingOutLoud. To receive an invitation from the granddaughter of deceased good friends seems to says you are special to her. Also remember as we get older such invites get fewer and fewer.

Krimpette · ‎03-09-2010

I was of the opinion that you don't need to respond to a "save the date" card, so I wouldn't send a gift just yet.

Love my grandkids · ‎11-24-2013

I'm another who believes you don't need to offer a reason or excuse.

Wait until you get the invite and RSVP that you won't be attending. That's all that's required.

Why do people think they have to make up a story when they don't want to attend something?

"No" is a complete sentence. I doubt the bride will even care.

It's not customary to RSVP to a save the date card. And it's way too early to send a gift.

BarbieDollToo · ‎09-15-2022

Since a Save the Date card came, you can expect an invite, if you haven't already gotten it by now. It means the invite is coming, otherwise why would you need to save the date. If you aren't going to go, I like @Laura14 's reply to their invite when it comes. It is polite, mentions a gift is coming, and without going into detail, declines the event without having to make up a little white lie. I don't like to say that there is a conflict, because that implies the other offer that day is better than their event. I never just say No when I have to reply, I usually will write With Regrets.

meem120 · ‎03-09-2010

It's only a save the date. You don't have to reply till you get the wedding invite with the RSVP. Card.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

I don't think you are under any obligation to even think about attending unless you are in the immediate family or wedding party. Those folks will be too busy to even know if you are there or not. Don't worry about it.

And any time you have to drive four hours (especially at night) or pack a bag and spend the night at a hotel, yeah, that's a big deal! Don't feel obligated at all to do that. We sometimes over think this stuff.

I hereby grant anyone permission to drop the guilt and to do what they want about someone else's big event.

jackthebear · ‎03-11-2010

@BarbiHollywood wrote:
I received a wedding Save The Date card several months ago for the granddaughter of some wonderful friends of ours who, sadly, have passed away. The wedding is about two hours away and would require an overnight in a hotel. We planned to go, but now just don't feel like giving up an entire weekend to attend. I'd like to RSVP to the bride by saying something nice and letting her know that we appreciate the invitation and will send a nice gift, but we just don't feel like attending.

I'm struggling to find the right words. Any suggestions?

Thanks.

did you get the invitation yet?

katie1859 · ‎06-25-2022

R S V P. No I won't be attending lol.

Pretty standard protocol .

magicmoodz · ‎03-16-2010

@Laura14 wrote:
Thank you for including us in your wonderful celebration.

Unfortunately, we will not be able to attend but please expect our gift as our well wishes to you and your future spouse. I know (insert name of her grandparents) will be there to celebrate with you in spirit as well.

Wishing you two a wonderful life together.

Congratulations!

@Laura14

You have such a beautiful way with words. I am right now sitting on an invitation (not wedding) I plan to decline, but my words will be nowhere near as kind as yours (but that is going to be intentional on my part🤮).