Among Friends

[Lucky Charm]

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@BarbiHollywood wrote:

I received a wedding Save The Date card several months ago for the granddaughter of some wonderful friends of ours who, sadly, have passed away.  The wedding is about two hours away and would require an overnight in a hotel.  We planned to go, but now just don't feel like giving up an entire weekend to attend.  I'd like to RSVP to the bride by saying something nice and letting her know that we appreciate the invitation and will send a nice gift, but we just don't feel like attending.

I'm struggling to find the right words.  Any suggestions?

Thanks.

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Wait for the actual invitation that includes the R.S.V.P card and simply respond regrets No.  

Nothing else needs to be said.  period.

(You're probably regretting giving your reason here...lol)

There is absolutely no reason to mention anything about the forthcoming gift.  Can't think of the right word(s) for it, but it seems a little tacky.

Just send the gift along.

[RespectLife]

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@occasionalrain wrote:

A save the date card is not an invitation. Not everyone who receives  a save the date will get an actual invitation. No reply is necessary.

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Exactly.

You don't usually respond to a 'Save the date' card at all.

When/if you get a real invitation, That is when you decline.

Check the not attending box and return.

No explanation necessary, but maybe a nice wording you will be thinking of them!

[BarbiHollywood]

@Laura14 

Thank you for your post.  I think what you stated - and how you stated it - superb!  Wow!

I appreciate ALL the responses.  I'm reading each and every single one of them.

Much appreciated, everyone!!!

:-)))

[Love my grandkids]

@Sooner YES YES YES!  And people need to remember that guilt is a feeling you've done something wrong. Saying "no" isn't a reason to feel guilty. I really get tired of that word being flung around so much.

[BarbiHollywood]

@occasionalrain I guess I forgot to say that, yes, we did receive the invitation.  What makes me feel bad is that we've "saved the date" for almost a year, and now that the wedding's coming up, "something suddenly's come up."  I think I'm feeling guilty!!!

I appreciate you taking the time to reply.  I'm reading each and every post.  Thanks!!

[BarbiHollywood]

@Carmie   I forgot to mention that I did get the invitation.  The wedding is coming up.  That's why I feel like I need to explain -- the Save The Date was received about a year ago.  I shouldn't have anything else booked on that date.  It's just me feeling guilty!  

Everyone's replies are being read and are all very appreciated.  Thank you for taking the time to reply.  I'm going to get this RSVP done right now.

:-)))

[BarbiHollywood]

@Love my grandkids Looks like I forgot to mention that I did receive the invitation, and the wedding date is coming up.  Everyone offered great replies, and I didn't think I'd get more than a handful.  I like what everyone is saying.

I'm going to tackle the RSVP right now.

Thanks!  :-)))

[Love my grandkids]

@BarbiHollywood Thanks for the info. Let us know what you decide!

[BarbiHollywood]

@jackthebear Yes.  Apparently, I forgot to mention that in my original post.  The wedding is coming up.  I've read a bunch of replies so far and have a bunch more, but I am reading them all and appreciate everyone taking time out of their day to help me with this.  :-)))

[BarbiHollywood]

@magicmoodz   I'm glad I'm not the only one who stresses, overthinks, and second-guesses stuff that oftentimes is unnecessary!!!!!   :-)))