Among Friends

[Plaid Pants2]

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@Libbylady wrote:

hennypenny said "we live on in the actions & deeds we have done".  Very well said.  Her words mirror my own views.

I have explored the idea of faith or belief with most of my friends.  I have never been afraid to call myself an athiest, but that is a word that can really cause uncomfortable conversations.

Some people can take athiesm as such a personal challenge that they will begin to argue to prove that they know best. 

I believe that each of us has a Legacy to leave for our time on earth.  Some exceptional people will leave a "legacy" that goes on for thousands of years, such as an artist or composer.  Most of us will leave a legacy lasting only one or two generations, and that is fine with me. 

Someday, when my time comes, I hope my friends and family will have the time to simply tell me that I impacted their lives in some positive way.  That will bring me the peace I need to take the last step.  I would not wish to be badgered into a last minute religion when I haven't needed it before.

Maybe the OP's dad is wondering if he did all he could to make others happy or secure.  We never can give ourselves an A+ , but the overview of our life as seen by others can be very comforting.

Bautifully said!!!!!

The o/p shouldn't try to convert her dad. Talking about Jesus and what a wonderful guy he is, would come across as preaching. I'm sure that he has heard it all before, and knows all about what He did for us. If he wanted to be a believer, he would have been before now.

Just leave him be. It's HIS CHOICE on whether or not he wants to believe.

That's why I said earlier, that he BEST thing that she can do is just LISTEN, and not to try and change him, or get him to convert.

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[keeper of the koi]

Housecat, it is never easy at life's end with anyone. I can say without a doubt God is with us whether we know it or not. I have e cursed him blamed him and accused him of not caring for me, I felt it had all been a a waste ,a cruel joke... But then I looked at all the beautiful things in my life, the things  that were incredible , I had come this far... I realized he loved me  though I couldn't feel it through the pain. Perhaps you need to speak to your father of the lives you shared together surely there was goodness. You are a special person ,kind , God had a hand in this. I believe we find God when we need him... Stay strong . I will be thinking of you....Maryanne

[lucieinthesky]

As someone else said, you either believe or you don't. Personally, I fail to understand how someone can NOT believe. Everywhere you look, you are seeing God's creation. I have had some real blows thrown my way  -- the worst when my 27 year old son died from cancer and  I so look forward to the day when I can ask God face to face "why?" I know when I hear the answer, it will all make sense. I will finally understand.

Death is not something to fear if you have heaven to look forward to.        

[dooBdoo]

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house_cat wrote:

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Sunshine Kate wrote:

House_cat, if you don't believe and your dad doesn't believe, why are you even writing about it?

That doesn't make sense to me.  

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Here's why I'm bringing it up.  His death is not imminent, but he is 92 and in poor health. He is blind and cannot walk and a mini-stroke has left him with difficulty speaking.  DH and I do all that we can to keep him content. I supply him with audio books and visit every day.  I walk him to the grocery store and take him to his doctor visits.  I attend all functions at the senior center with him and my mom (who is 90), because they cannot attend alone and I want to provide them with distractions from their aches and pains.

Despite our efforts, he has a lot of time to contemplate the inevitable. He talks to me frequently about his wishes for his burial.  He asked me to get medical POA for the both of them, and I did, because he's terrified that another stroke will leave him unable to express his wishes.  In his own words, he is "ready to go".

Yesterday I was driving him to the doctor's office and the Joel Osteen station was playing on the radio. I listen to him frequently, because I find his sermons to be uplifting, even in a secular sense.  Dad said, "I wish I could believe like he does.  It would be so much easier to face dying if I believed in God."  We've discussed the topic over the years, but it's more relevant at this time in his life.  I wish I could offer him some solace, but I'm not religious either. I do consider myself a spiritual person and I do believe there is more to reality than what we experience on Earth.  I, too, wish I was a believer. I envy those who say, "It's in God's hands", because I'd love to hand God some of my concerns.

I guess I was just asking for other perspectives. The insights that are shared on this forum are priceless, in my opinion.  Thank all of you who responded.  I read through the comments once, quickly, but when I have time later I will read them more intentionally.

I do want to say, though, that those who think it is my goal to convert him to my way of thinking, are missing the point.  Still, I thank you for responding.

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I wanted to repeat @house_cat's gracious post again.  She's really not "badgering" her dear father nor is she trying to convert him.

[goldensrbest]

mrniceguy, i to want to know why my son died at 27,  i so want to understand, it was in 1998 he died, i have always beleved in JESUS, how ever i did not live like i should had,  my husband died in 2013, he now knows why our son died,i have to believe that, it was and is my question and his, i can only imagine what our son thought at his death, he was in a cccident three years before, not his fault, was in a wheel chair,had so many operations on his left side, and one last one, left leg amputated below knee, so he could walk, had a massive heart attack,it was a emblous , went to his brain, still seems so unfair,    i hope to some day.  

[house_cat]

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@goldensrbest wrote:

mrniceguy, i to want to know why my son died at 27,  i so want to understand, it was in 1998 he died, i have always beleved in JESUS, how ever i did not live like i should had,  my husband died in 2013, he now knows why our son died,i have to believe that, it was and is my question and his, i can only imagine what our son thought at his death, he was in a cccident three years before, not his fault, was in a wheel chair,had so many operations on his left side, and one last one, left leg amputated below knee, so he could walk, had a massive heart attack,it was a emblous , went to his brain, still seems so unfair,    i hope to some day.  

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This is the biggest question I have about God. If God is there to protect us, then why do such awful things happen to innocent people?  The implication is that those who have terrible things happen didn't have strong enough faith.  I can never accept that.  My condolences on your loss, I can't begin to imagine your pain.

[oceantown]

Hi, house_cat,

When I read your post I thought of the video, God's Not Dead.  I am not sure if your dad has seen this video, or if you have seen it.  If you have not seen it, you may want to watch it and then maybe you can decide if your Dad would be interested.  I have watched it several times.

No one knows how long we have on this earth, and it is comforting to know what the future holds, and most important, to know the one who holds the future.

Edited to add:

I just read your later post that states that your dad is blind.  But, I still think even listening to the video would give him a new perspective.  You may really gain insight from it too, house cat.

The story shows people in different circumstances, some with their life going well, some with life shaking difficulties.  It is pretty amazing, and I very highly recommend it.

[oceantown]

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@Blueberry Hill wrote:
At this stage in his life if he does not believe after 92 years of living he will never believe so I would leave him alone if I was you. I will say this, I would rather believe and discover there is no God than to not believe and then discover that there is. There are only 2 options in life.

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This is not true.  My relative (when he was in his 90's) accepted Jesus Christ as his personal savior.  He had heard the gospel for years and years and did not make a decision for Christ until then.

[Plaid Pants2]

It's perfectly okay for someone not to believe. If they don't want to, that is their RIGHT, and their CHOICE.

There is NOTHING wrong with choosing not to believe.

If he doesn't want to believe, then no one should try to "convert" him. 

This is not a "problem" that needs to be "fixed".

[goldensrbest]

I do not know why, I do know that GOD was in control of his life,and ours, there is a book called why do bad things happen to good people,We will never know why ,here on earth, but I know GOD made us all, and loves us all.