Among Friends

[house_cat]

I'm sincerely hoping that this thread doesn't go awry.

I'm also hoping that the QVC moderators will see its value.

I don't know where else to bring up this topic, as it's not a good one for the workplace.  I value the opinion of the participants in this forum.

My dad is 92 years old and in ill health.  Yesterday, he said to me that he wishes he could believe in God. He said that it would make him less anxious.  He was raised Catholic, but I've never seen him in church except for funerals and weddings.  My mom was also raised Catholic, but has rarely gone to church and doesn't follow Catholic doctrine.

Dad said that he wishes he could believe, but being the educated person he is, he can't reconcile the science with the spirituality.  I know there are millions of educated people, who are strong believers in God.

Can someone please suggest something I can say to him?  

Thank you in advance for not making your responses judgmental or divisive.  

[chickenbutt]

I truly don't mean this in a disrespectful way, but I'd back off.

I know from experience that the more people push it the more it makes you want to run from it.

There is nothing wrong with him believing, or not believing, what he wants to believe.  Freedom OF religion also means freedom FROM religion. 

He'll be ok.  There is nothing wrong with him not believing in something that you believe - NOTHING at all.     Some people need to believe that there is some magical god watching over them.  I understand that.  But some people don't and that's fine too.   I would stop treating him like he's wrong or 'less' for his beliefs, or non-beliefs. 

[Karnerblue]

I think you either believe or you don't.  It's called faith.  You either have it or you don't,  No one can change a person's mind or make them believe.  It has to come from within.  How educated you are has nothing to do with this.  My only suggestion would be to talk with a priest.

[icezeus]

I wish that I had words that could comfort you but I just can't.

I just don't think that at the advanced age of 92, that any words can be spoken to sway his thinking on this sensitive matter.

I had a good friend who does not believe tell me about two years ago, that he just can't believe that such a sensible person such as myself could believe in fairy tales.

It's  faith for us. We do believe it, but swaying someone to our way of thinking will not be accomplished with a few words, or deeds and actions.

All that I can offer is that you continue to pray for your father.

[rodda6]

I know where you're at. I always wished I could have talked to my Dad before he passed but I wasn't sure how to approach him. He never really brought it up. One thing I would say is that man's wisdom is foolishness to God. We cannot think our way to God. Ask your Dad to listen to his heart and not his head. All one needs to do is to ask forgiveness for sins and ask Jesus to come into our heart and accept Him as Lord and Savior. The wisdom of Christ will follow as you Dad will have new eyes to see the truth. I will pray for you to find the right words. Don't put it off. That's what I did. If your Dad doesn't accept it then that is his decision. Also, I always wonder what happens when a person is conscious, but not communicating, before they die. I think it is possible God comes to them and they make a choice then too.

[sashamatthews]

My dad is 89 and doesn't believe.  At least I don't think he does.  He used to go to Novena to th Virgin Mary with my mother years ago, but he is pretty cut and dry on the subject.  This morning, his only living sibling (in Florida - we're in Connecticut) called and said he is being put into hospice care.  His brother believes but sounded very shaky on the phone.  Perhaps you could call the local hospice and ask them if they have any suggestions.  The late Dr. Wayne Dyer may have written on the subject.  I wish I could be more helpful.  All the best to both of you.

[DiAnne]

I agree with your Dad.  I don't think there is anything you can say.  Everyone has the right to their own beliefs. 

[Chrystaltree2]

You can't say anything to him that would make him believe in God.  They call it faith for a reason.  You believe or you don't believe.  No one talk you into it.  I don't think your father wants that.  He's 92, he doesn't have long in this world and it's understandable that he's thinking about what, if anything, comes after.  People who are truly religous; know what comes after and they find peace in that.  I think your father was only saying that he envies that.   

[Oostende]

I have found Keith Ward's "Why There is Almost Certainly a God: Doubting Dawkins" to be a fine read.

If your father, as an educated man, is versed in a little philosophy and some physics, then he shouldn't have any trouble with the text.

Keith Ward is retired now, but he was the Regius Professor of Divinity at the University of Oxford.  His is an extraordinary mind.

For what it's worth, neither science nor religion can decisively claim an answer to the existential meaning of life and death.  That is left up to each of us.

Best of luck.

[dooBdoo]

@house_cat, I think it depends upon whether your father was simply stating his general feelings -- perhaps expressing remorse -- or if he was reaching out for a way to change his belief system.   Those are two different things. 

C.S. Lewis' path to faith came to my mind, and reading about his thought processes might be of interest if your dad truly wants to pursue a diffferent journey.  

But, again, is he just voicing wistful sentiments or actually reaching out for new ideas?