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Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,078
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Dr. charles stanley, IN TOUCH MINISTRIES, out of atlanta, he has a web site,tv show ,on sundays, is a wonderful GODLY MAN, i have met him,i love how he teaches.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,813
Registered: ‎05-29-2015

@house_cat

 

You're a wonderful daughter and I think your parents are truly blessed. 

 

For me, the questions, doubts, fear, anger always come at 3:00 in the morning when there are very few distractions lol!  When, similar to what you said, I can only contemplate the inevitable.

 

I've been very close to several people who either knew they were going to die soon (my best friend...liver cancer...30 yrs old) or who were just realistic...my adopted mom, who is 93 yrs old, to name two.  All of them wanted to talk about G-d and heaven.  These conversations are some of my most cherished memories, and I hope you will also cherish yours...I only wish I had had the opportunity to talk so intimately with my parents.

 

For me, I wasn't dying, but I thought I was (don't ask lol).  All the ideas I had about G-d...all the rationalizing, all the philosophies of my friends/priests/pastors/family/famous thinkers, all the cute thoughts about G-d being in the trees, all the words I put into His mouth because they sounded good to me...everything went out the window.   It all boiled down to this (a paraphrase from several sources):

 

If G-d is not real, if the Bible is not Truth, then it's all of no importance..."all" meaning my beliefs, my actions, my thoughts.  But, if G-d is real, and if the Bible is His Word to us, then it's all supremely important.  There is no middle ground.  The option of believing anything I wanted is not open to me.

 

Lee Strobel's book, The Case for Faith, is an excellent read for an intellectual type.

 

Science schmience!  "Reason" is what got in my way!!  LOL!

 

Your thread started an interesting discussion at work!

 

Have a great evening y'all.

~~~ I call dibs on the popcorn concession!! ~~~
Frequent Contributor
Posts: 121
Registered: ‎06-15-2015
At this stage in his life if he does not believe after 92 years of living he will never believe so I would leave him alone if I was you. I will say this, I would rather believe and discover there is no God than to not believe and then discover that there is. There are only 2 options in life.
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Registered: ‎06-27-2010

I too am a non-believer.  I also keep this fact concealed from most people these days.  When I was young I was more vocal about it, but it only brought me grief from people judging me and trying to "save" me.  People argued with me endlessly because they could not comprehend that I am okay with not "knowing" what will happen to me after I die.  This seems to be the crux of the argument for religion - people want to be reassured that they will go someplace nice after they are dead.  While I may worry about the moments leading up to becoming dead, I don't worry at all about being dead.

 

Years ago I heard a wise person say "You don't worry about what you were before you were born, so why would you worry about what you will be after you die?"  This makes so much sense to me. I wish I could credit the source, but I don't know who said it. 

 

I would just reassure your dad that there is nothing to be anxious about.  Tell him that if he has lived a good life and is content with who he is, that he has done all that he can do.  Everything will be fine.  He does not need to embrace anyone else's "truth." 

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half-full or half-empty as long as you still have the rest of the bottle."
Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,491
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

I'm not getting from Housecat that her Dad is an athiest as much as he is an agnostic (waiting for proof that God exists).

 

Many agnostics choose a religion "just in case."

 

I would approach the answer to his question from an agnostic point of view.

 

If their senior center has a relationship with any religious organization, that might be a good place to start.  They may have a religous or a lay person there who can have a conversation with your father about his questions and concerns.  

 

The big questions most people have are "why does God let bad things happen?" and "how can the stories of the bible be true?"

 

People often think these questions are hard to answer. They really aren't.  It's just finding the right person to put it in terms that make sense.

 

I'm a cradle Catholic of the Roman Catholic Church.  I have had periods of time where I've doubted things and I've had periods of time where God is right there, listening to me and giving me the answer or watching over me/protecting me.

 

As someone said early on in this thread, sometimes you have to look and listen for it.

===================================
QVC Shopper - 1993

# IAMTEAMWEN
Honored Contributor
Posts: 69,397
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When my dad was in hospice care at age 93, he was asked if wanted a visit by a clergyman.  He said,"No!" emphatically.  That was the end of it.  I never mentioned it to him again.  If I were you, I'd do the same.  At that advanced age, people know what they do and do not want, and you're not going to change their mind.  To try to do so would be harassment.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
Regular Contributor
Posts: 220
Registered: ‎06-23-2014

(John 14:6)

Explain to him that believing in Jesus is the way to Heaven.   God created His Son just for this purpose.   If your father is "anxious," then he possibly knows already in his heart that a decision will need to be made soon.   Do not delay on this .... simply tell him that one day we can all be together again after we die;  by repenting and making a commitment to follow His teachings is the only way.   

 

Blessings be upon you !

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,491
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

My father was born and raised Catholic but it didn't stick with him.  As he and his wife got older, his wife started to have concerns that they would both go to the basement for all of their various sins.  She joined a church but my father resisted.  When he was in hospice, he finally got worn down by the pastor and basically "converted" for his wife to ease her mind.

 

I am sorry I wasn't there to intervene and would have if I knew that was going on.  No one should be forced or guilted into something.

 

[FTR, this is a post about my family situation and not a commentary on Housecat as I recognize Housecat is not forcing anything, her father simply made a statement/asked a question of her].

===================================
QVC Shopper - 1993

# IAMTEAMWEN
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,997
Registered: ‎03-25-2012

@SHIRAZ wrote:

I too am a non-believer.  I also keep this fact concealed from most people these days.  When I was young I was more vocal about it, but it only brought me grief from people judging me and trying to "save" me.  People argued with me endlessly because they could not comprehend that I am okay with not "knowing" what will happen to me after I die.  This seems to be the crux of the argument for religion - people want to be reassured that they will go someplace nice after they are dead.  While I may worry about the moments leading up to becoming dead, I don't worry at all about being dead.

 

Years ago I heard a wise person say "You don't worry about what you were before you were born, so why would you worry about what you will be after you die?"  This makes so much sense to me. I wish I could credit the source, but I don't know who said it. 

 

I would just reassure your dad that there is nothing to be anxious about.  Tell him that if he has lived a good life and is content with who he is, that he has done all that he can do.  Everything will be fine.  He does not need to embrace anyone else's "truth." 


That is exactly how I explain death to myself and anyone who asks me.  We had no awareness until we were born.  We will be in exactly the same state when we die.  We will have no awareness ever again.  It's frightening, but I have made my peace with it.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,140
Registered: ‎07-01-2012

The issue is not believing or believing, the issue is death.  Considering the circumstance and acknowledgement there is no factual data on what happens, fear is the issue.  One can relate death to sleep, when you sleep you are at peace, whether you are a believer or not.