Funeral Viewing Question - Page 5

vermint · ‎04-05-2010

@cerb I only know South Carolina/Georgia customs. Here it is customary, usually the day before the funeral, to have a 2-3 hour "visitation" at the funeral home. The casket is there, sometimes open--sometimes not (even those who are cremated sometimes have a "viewing" before cremation takes place). If a person was very well known, and crowds are expected, sometimes the visitation and/or funeral will be held in a large church. Or, in the case of a teenager or child, at their school. High schoolers especially tend to turn out for classmates funerals. This is considered "standard" for Protestant/Catholic funerals, which are all I have experience with. These "visitations" can be very structured, with receiving lines, or more casual, with everyone just visiting.

It does seem to be a newer trend here to have the visitation right before the funeral. I don't really know why this is. My MIL's was an hour before her service.

shoptilyadropagain · ‎03-19-2014

In most situations I can think of, the siblings were present for all of the viewing/visitations. My dad had two remaining siblings when he passed last May. His one sister was out of state and was unable to come for health & other reasons. I don't think his other sister was there the whole time. Frankly, I don't remember and wouldn't care as she is in her mid 80's (although she has more energy than I do). Looking back at most situations, I'd say that the majority of the time, the siblings were present for the whole viewing time.

I just can't wrap my head around not ever going or even hearing of a visitation before. I think it's becoming a "little" more common now to not have a viewing but I would consider that as rare.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
- Author Unknown

sktchy · ‎03-10-2010

@circles wrote:
My response will not be met with favor...but our family all of us...are being cremated right after our death..no viewing...

We all keep in touch with one another all the time..so there is no need to sit for a day or two till being buried or cremated...

Before my aunt died she said she wanted to be cremated immediately...she said if people didn't come and see me when i was alive...i don't want them viewing me after i am dead..
All of us feel the same....

My body goes to the Anatomy Board - I asked my Son if he wanted the cremains. He can use any money to do something enjoyable and remember me for that.

DrKelli · ‎03-10-2010

My ex-husband's father had a viewing when he died. We had been engaged about 6 months and it was the first time I met his family. He was 14 years older than me and of course, he had a lot of drama with his family. Which I am quite sure he was the instigator of. But anyway--worst time ever to meet your fiance's family. And it was an open casket viewing. I kept trying to get out of the room with the casket and he basically blocked me in so that I was standing right next to it. I should have known that was a harbinger of what was to come. LOL!

My dad did not want a service and was cremated. He always told me--go rent a McDonalds and get a keg.

AnikaBrodie · ‎03-10-2010

When my mother-in-law died my sisters and brothers and their spouses and extended family were with us for the entire time of the viewing. DH is an only child and my family loved M. who was beautiful inside and out and they loved her. It was so comforting for DH and me that they were there. At the end of the viewing they stayed for over an hour to reminisce about her and provide support for us. We felt so loved. The funeral director is a friend and encouraged us to stay as long as we wanted.

Of course, whether you attend and stay is a personal preference, but I can tell you your support will be much appreciated by the family.

"Faith, Hope, Love; the greatest of these is Love." ~The Silver Fox~

lilac lover · ‎01-17-2011

@sunshine45 wrote:
@cerb wrote:
@cherry wrote:
It's a Christian thing, and all denominations that I know of ,observe it
I've attended church all my life (both mainstream denomination and evangelical) and no one I know has held a visitation. I've attended many funerals and memorial services in churches and at funeral homes, but no viewings. I was wondering if it is more common among Catholics? Or more common in the Eastern U.S.? Also, since cremation has been the norm here in southern CA for a long time now, I guess there would be no viewing? Sorry for being a bit off-topic.

(((hugs))) to the OP

no, it is not just for christians or those on the east coast. also, viewings are not necessarily an open casket and can be for all religious or non-religious people. i have been to many viewings where there is no body or no open casket. it is for the family to gather and greet other family members, friends, co-workers of the deceased. it is a time to share your sorrow and share your memories of the person who died. they can be held in a funeral home, a persons home, a hall, or even a country club.

I live in the midwest and almost everyone either has a visitation or a celebration of life. It's to express your sorrow to the family and share memories of the deceased.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Allegheny wrote:
I am curious about something and would like to get understanding from others.

For example, say your sister passes. She is local, married with grown children and grown grandchildren. Would you feel that as sibling you need or it is your place to be present for the entire time of both visitation periods.

I know this probably is a personal preference, but just would like to know others experiences.

I really don't have much experience in this, my mother passed before most of her siblings and I can't remember much from my father's family. Just to preface, this is not my sibling that passed.

Yes, absolutely.

It would make no difference to me where she had lived, if she was married, had children, etc. There's no question in my mind that it would be appropriate to be present for everything. I would find it odd if someone chose not to do that.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@cerb wrote:
@cherry wrote:
It's a Christian thing, and all denominations that I know of ,observe it
I've attended church all my life (both mainstream denomination and evangelical) and no one I know has held a visitation. I've attended many funerals and memorial services in churches and at funeral homes, but no viewings. I was wondering if it is more common among Catholics? Or more common in the Eastern U.S.? Also, since cremation has been the norm here in southern CA for a long time now, I guess there would be no viewing? Sorry for being a bit off-topic.

(((hugs))) to the OP

I've been to viewings for people who were cremated afterward. It's a final chance to say goodbye regardless of whether burial or cremation follows.

hckynut · ‎03-10-2010

@Allegheny

The youngest of my 3 older sisters died of cancer in 1989, at the age of 52. Like myself, she was born here/raised her 5 children to adulthood, before she died.

There was a viewing session only 1 night, and that was before her funeral, which was the following morning. Her husband and her 5 children were there greeting everyone that came to pay their respects.

Myself, nor either on of my 2 older sisters, felt it was our place to be between her family and those who had came to say their goodbye to my sister.

Her funeral was in a Catholic Church and her mass was given by a priest that played for many years in my Adult Hockey League. Her was a very good friend of mine and I conferred with my brother-in-law about maybe having him perform her services.

My brother-in-law knew him from the church and was happy when I told him that this priest was a good friend I had known for many years.

When my mother died 20 years prior to my sister, myself and my 3 sisters were present for each visitation to meet everyone that came to pay their respects to my mother. She had 4 living brothers, living in the same city, and 2 of them came to neither the visitations or her funeral. One of them did send flowers, how nice of them.

That is how I handled the death of my mother and my youngest, older sister's death and the visitations.

hckynut(john)

PamelaSue72 · ‎09-22-2011

We don't have viewings. And we usually have private (family-only) funerals, at the cemetary. When my father became ill, he specifically said no viewing, family-only funeral. As did my mother. As I, and my siblings, have specified as well. Both of my parents were cremated. I will be as well, with my cremains scattered at a place known to DH and me. I do not wish to be buried.

DH wants a viewing and funeral at his church and I will honor his wishes. He hasn't decided about cremation.