Funeral Viewing Question - Page 6

DowntonAbbey · ‎03-09-2010

Yes of course.........and for all things..........even if you have known someone and be around them for many years. I went to my sisters father in laws funeral last year. My mother had married for a long time a man in the funeral business so I learned a lot of funeral ettique

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

I went to one viewing of a very beloved relative where laughter broke out among the tears. People started telling funny stories about this beloved old gentleman and laughter and tears were in great supply.

It was one of the most beautiful things I can remember. I'm sure some talked about us and thought it inappropriate but they don't count. The people who loved and cherished him and appriciated his humor mattered!

Financialgrl · ‎03-13-2010

@circles wrote:
My response will not be met with favor...but our family all of us...are being cremated right after our death..no viewing...

We all keep in touch with one another all the time..so there is no need to sit for a day or two till being buried or cremated...

Before my aunt died she said she wanted to be cremated immediately...she said if people didn't come and see me when i was alive...i don't want them viewing me after i am dead..
All of us feel the same....

We do the same thing. I personally find the whole viewing/service extremely hard on the family. My dad died 4 years ago and he said absolutely NO viewing or graveside service - but he had a double plot he'd bought 40 years ago when my mother had died. He was cremated and two months later when all the grandkids were out of school and college we, as a family put flowers on the grave and said a few words and met shortly afterward at a local restaurant for a celebration of his life.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

Uh, yes. Why would the sister not want to be there?

Allegheny · ‎03-19-2010

@CalminHeart wrote:
Uh, yes. Why would the sister not want to be there?

@CalminHeart

Hi, I am the OP. The deceased is my 84 year old sister-in-law, not my sister.

My inquiry was whether it was expected for all the deceased person's siblings and their spouses (8 people) be present for both visitation periods at the funeral home inaddition to the deceased's husband, 3 children + spouses and five grands + spouses.

My own personal feeling if the deceased was my sibling, I would definitely be present for both visitation periods and that seemed to be the consensus of others. I would hope my husband would accompany me at both visitations but if he couldn't that would be OK.

alicedee · ‎07-25-2010

I don't think there is a "one size fits all" answer to this question. Everyone handles grief and family situations differently. People should do what they feel in their heart is the right thing and what will most help the closest family members.

It is unkind to sit in judgement on what people are doing when they are in the midst of coping with the death of a loved one. I have seen many varied reactions and behaviors at funerals and funeral homes....and I don't judge anyone. I choose to believe most people do the best they can at that time.

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

If my sister passed, absolutely I would be at the viewing for the entire time.

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

@KathyPet wrote:
I cannot even imagine how physically and emotionally exhausting it must have been for your nephew's parents to stand to greet 1300 people. WHen my 20 year old son was killed we probably had about 75 people at the viewing for 2 hours and when it ended I was on the verge of physical and mental collapse.

My friend's 6 year old son died in an accident. Generally a viewing is held at a funeral home but they knew there would be a lot of people in attendance for him so they held it at the church.

I have no idea how many people were there but the line to get into the church and up to the casket was out of the church, up the entire walkway and up the sidewalk leading to the walkway. The viewing went on from 2 in the afternoon until after 8 at night with no break. It was supposed to be from 2-4 and 6-8.

Recently a state highway patrol officer was killed and they had the funeral mass at a local college. They then proceeded to the cemetery. The people at the beginning of the funeral procession were at the cemetery over 1 hour before the last of the procession got there.

qvcfreak · ‎03-10-2010

Speaking of funerals, my Dad's younger brother died Sunday, we traveled yesterday 4 hours to attend the service this morning and my own cousin didn't attend her own Father's funeral. She went to the viewing yesterday and apparently she had to sleep this morning. We still can't believe it. And she lives there.

sktchy · ‎03-10-2010

The last two funerals I attended where for men that where in their 50's.

One man had been sick for several years off and on with lung cancer. He suffered tremendously and his family and friends where along for the journey.

When he passed away he was cremated. He wanted a Celebration of Life so the the man and his wife pre-planned his Wake at a hall, caterer, bartenders - music - pretty sure NO band - to be used at their convince whenever he passed. There was a on-going video paying through all the moments in his life. It was wonderful.

In the second instance my 1st (ex) Husband died, suddenly, and he was Roasted instead of euglogised. Again - there was a large screen located at the front of the funeral home and his favorite music played in the background. There was a long table with pictures of all his lifes events - including our wedding picture and several pictures of us together. It was hilarious and I know he would have enjoyed himself if he could be there. Afterwards family and close friends went to a restuarant.

Both funerals left everyone feeling that our friends had gone off to their next world with a lot of love and good memories. I still miss my ex occassionally.

Funerals are personal and no one should feel they should conform to someone else's ideal.