Among Friends

[haddon9]

 You never know where you might find the opportunity to meet new friends.  It could be through your town...do they have an online "Patch" to let you know what's going on locally?...a local newsletter maybe?  Have your tried meetup online?  New groups start up often.

What about local adult evening classes in fun subjects like cooking, art, etc. that might interest you?  I would also check the senior center unless you felt that it's mostly people much older than you...you never know though if they might have an interesting group....maybe a book club through your local library or book store.

I've been getting my nails done at the same small nail salon for many years.  I have a regular standing appointment and have met some women there.  One of the women teaches Mah Jongg and organized a group of 8 to play and we usually have two games going.  We meet every other Monday for lunch at a local Corner Bakery then play for a few hours in the restaurant's community room.

Keep your options open and don't give up!

[qualitygal]

Just join something.  People, people, people.  You need and so do they. @this is my nic

I once thought I'd start my own club, but I didn't.  So out of self-survival, I joined a group.  Eventually, I hope to make a habit of getting back to church.  (It's a physical thing now.) 

I'd see about clubs through the library.  I wonder if your husband was military as some of your points rang a bell with me. 

Wish we lived closer.  I'm sure you're the kind of person who will meet and find new friends.  Good luck on that.  Do join something in your area.  Your friends may not be from the neighborhood, but maybe this time it will be from town.  Sounds like a new group is in your future. Where there's a will there's a way.

[Mom2Dogs]

@this is my nic.....To bad we don't know each other....I could use a girls day out.

[Happiness Is Inside JOB]

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@BeccaLou wrote:

Try your Senior Center, but don't be to eager for friends,, make your friendships wisely. I have had some very bad choices that were worst than being alone. Get to know them well before you get to close. And that is sometimes a hit and miss. Good Luck.

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I agree with Ms. Becca - My mother goes to the center and WOW, they are always going somewhere as a "group".  She has accepted that she won't find close friends at the center but just people to hang out with during the events.  BUT The key is, the events keep you busy.  At least 3 days a week she goes places.  So if you have church Sunday, then say Monday - she is home, then Tues/Wed - Center, then Thursday - home, Friday- center.

It keeps her out the house for a while, that helps prevent as much bordom and the spirit of depression. 

I encourage everyone - GO to your senior center.

We are in a larger city, and she is a member of the center in two counties so you can go to different centers for different activities. 

[CelticCrafter]

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@Happiness Is Inside JOB wrote:

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@BeccaLou wrote:

Try your Senior Center, but don't be to eager for friends,, make your friendships wisely. I have had some very bad choices that were worst than being alone. Get to know them well before you get to close. And that is sometimes a hit and miss. Good Luck.

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I agree with Ms. Becca - My mother goes to the center and WOW, they are always going somewhere as a "group".  She has accepted that she won't find close friends at the center but just people to hang out with during the events.  BUT The key is, the events keep you busy.  At least 3 days a week she goes places.  So if you have church Sunday, then say Monday - she is home, then Tues/Wed - Center, then Thursday - home, Friday- center.

It keeps her out the house for a while, that helps prevent as much bordom and the spirit of depression. 

I encourage everyone - GO to your senior center.

We are in a larger city, and she is a member of the center in two counties so you can go to different centers for different activities. 

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The OP said that her husband isn't social, so she would probable be going alone.  Around here, solo women at the senior center get treated like they have cooties and have ulterior motives.

[qualitygal]

@Happiness Is Inside JOB,  Thanks for all that info, it's very encouraging!!

[TX-starlight]

@this is my nic I can relate!! In fact I had a thread on this very subject awhile back. I have several "circles" of friends, but seems like I'm usually alone. It IS very hard to make new friends, since I don't trust many people. I live in a small rural area, so there isn't much to do. My closest friend spends almost every waking minute with her recently divorced daughter & g-daughter. I won't invite myself with them, but it would be nice if they included me in their activities, every once in awhile. I attend all my g-kids sports events, but still wish I had people my own age to do things with. 

[hckynut]

@this is my nic

Real friends? Not so easy regardless of where you live/work, or any of the many other places where people can meet "people". To find "friends" like the ones you have expressed, not sure that is easy for anyone, even though they be a few decades younger.

I retired in 1991 at age 52, and there is not a day I have ever regretted my decision. I've met at least hundreds of people since I retired(and we moved 9 years after I retired), never had any "neighbors" I considered close friends. The last close friend neighbors lived in Public Housing Projects. I was born there and lived there until I was 14 years old.

Nice neighbors, many, but those I considered close friends? Nope, not the way I've chose to live my adult life, and it has nothing to do age or retirement, my life choice.

I can converse very easily with strangers no matter where I am at the time. For me I can also be a recluse and not care if I see anyone outside my home, probably because I am happy with how/where we live, and also with my life. Throw in being an optimist all my adult life, and that's about it.

I hope someone here can tell you more of how to people and make friends, than what I have said here. Understanding how you probably feel I cannot directly relate to because of how and where I was born, and just other factors that have influenced much of my life.

My best to you, 

hckynut(john)

[hckynut]

@Happiness Is Inside JOB,

Your "nic" and your statement at the bottom of your posts say it all.  My life's happiness is totally up to me, not my friends/family, or my wife. As your nic says: It is an inside job"!

Thank you for sharing that with the others on this forum, it is something everyone should realize, and the sooner in their lives, the better!

hckynut(john)

[Happiness Is Inside JOB]

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@hckynut wrote:

@Happiness Is Inside JOB,

Your "nic" and your statement at the bottom of your posts say it all.  My life's happiness is totally up to me, not my friends/family, or my wife. As your nic says: It is an inside job"!

Thank you for sharing that with the others on this forum, it is something everyone should realize, and the sooner in their lives, the better!

hckynut(john)

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Thanks Mr. John

I consider you to be a wealth of knowledge and I always look for your commentary!