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Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,815
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

I'm only guessing that his wife is 'the boss' in their marriage.

 

He doesn't want to 'upset the apple cart', so to speak.

 

I would just accept that it's the way it is in his marriage.  Almost all / or many marriages have their private 'rules' to keep things

rolling along smooth. 

 

I would 'let it go', and plan my own trips with friends or with a tour group, if you are financially able.

  Or just enjoy your life with community neighbors' events, classes, etc. 

 I'm sure that many others are in similar situations, and they just accept them and move on.

 

 The best of luck to you. 

 

 Try to make 2023 as pleasant as possible

for yourself.   Heart

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,815
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Another thought of mine......(as usual)......

 

Maybe he is often embarrassed by his in-laws.  Who knows exactly how they behave in public, etc.

 

Maybe his wife and her family behave a bit or somewhat 'dysfunctionaly'. 

 

Maybe the son doesn't want his mom to see all of that.

 

Again, just one of my thoughts.

 

Also, without going into detail, I know someone like that.  Enough said.  

 

 

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,815
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

p.s.  Another 'maybe this' and 'maybe that' from me.

 

Maybe the wife is a 'spoiled brat' around her mother.  

 

Maybe son doesn't want his mom exposed to that interaction.

 

Maybe the son knows his mom, and figured out that his mom wouldn't be happy or comfortable being around that type of family. Especially for more than a day (on a vacation).

 

All sorts of reasons are 'popping' into my mind.

 

I guess what I'm saying is maybe O/P is 'better off' not being with them on a vacation.  

 

Something to think about.  

 

Wishing O/P well with new friends and acquaintances. Heart

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,562
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Did you ask your son why the made that decision? Have you contacted your granddaughter to tell her that you had wanted to come to her event, but was told it was best that didn't. Still you'll be thinking of her and wish her well.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,151
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@Calcgirl   I do understand although our situations are different. I am 75 and never married. My immediate family lives nearby. When I was younger, I would try to host some holidays ( e.g., Christmas Eve, New Year's Day, etc.) Over time, my only sister took over and I was one of the invited guests. About 8 years ago, I no longer was invited. Oh, I still get a meal delivered from my siater and gifts too, but I have not been invited to her home. So, I spend holidays alone or visit my mother who has advanced dementia. For several years I was angry, hurt, etc.

 

Now, I still am alone but I have started a tradition of FaceTiming single friends who are alone in other states on big holidays. I still have a nagging sadness, but I now am grateful for whatever I receive on holidays but also look forward to my new normal in terms of celebrating with others who also are alone.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,562
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@KailaS 

 

Did your sister offer a reason, or just delete you without cause or explanation?  

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,151
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@occasionalrain  No reason given. Just as there is no reason given for her not giving me a ride to or from surgery . I have surmised that she just feels overwhelmed with her own life, but nothing ever was said. She does send me cards for holidays and provides a meal. I'd prefer the company rather than gifts, but I have tried to honor her choice/ decision and move on.