Re: Do You Defend your Children?

CatsyCline · ‎07-24-2013

my mother has a will of iron. she went ahead and booked this spine surgery and Flo took her to the appt with the surgeon. i BEGGED her to get a 2nd opinion. she would not hear of it. i cannot find any paperwork she would have signed with a list of risks of the surgery. it seems Flo looked at the MRI and concurred with the provider.

she is sharp as a tack. would never agree to move . she wants to stay in her home. she does not want help cleaning or cooking, she doesnt want meals on wheels . i don't believe she should be on her own anymore. my sister refuses to grasp this concept. she just says "We'll See"

one of the things Flo texted was that I should be making lunches and dinners and bringing them to the nursing home daily. i made a stew and a chicken casserole and was met with disgust. thats not the way she makes her dinners

theres a book someone mentioned about a daughter ever being good enough? i keep trying.

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

I can only hope my 84 year old mother (and father) would come to my defense in the event that something mean was said about me.

I'm sure they would!

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

I think most of us like to brag about our kids and don't want anyone to see them in a negative light. That being said, I believe in telling the truth and would not defend any kind of bad behavior my child displayed at any age.

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

@blackhole99 wrote:
I think most of us like to brag about our kids and don't want anyone to see them in a negative light. That being said, I believe in telling the truth and would not defend any kind of bad behavior my child displayed at any age.

Oh I TOTALLY agree. I would never turn an eye away from bad behavior.

I took the OP to mean, something mean was said to her mother about her that wasn't warranted. She was hoping her mother wouldv'e said something in her defense.

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

@ashleigh dupray wrote:
my mother has a will of iron. she went ahead and booked this spine surgery and Flo took her to the appt with the surgeon. i BEGGED her to get a 2nd opinion. she would not hear of it. i cannot find any paperwork she would have signed with a list of risks of the surgery. it seems Flo looked at the MRI and concurred with the provider.

she is sharp as a tack. would never agree to move . she wants to stay in her home. she does not want help cleaning or cooking, she doesnt want meals on wheels . i don't believe she should be on her own anymore. my sister refuses to grasp this concept. she just says "We'll See"

one of the things Flo texted was that I should be making lunches and dinners and bringing them to the nursing home daily. i made a stew and a chicken casserole and was met with disgust. thats not the way she makes her dinners

theres a book someone mentioned about a daughter ever being good enough? i keep trying.

If your mother still has all her faculties, then I think her wishes should be respected and she should be allowed to stay in her own home.

However, I wouldn't feel I had to bring food or anything like that, because you said she doesn't want Meals on Wheels or any sort of assistance.

You are wasting your time trying to please someone who is just playing a game with you.

Leave her be and live your own life, you are only beating your head against a brick wall.

KathyPet · ‎03-09-2010

Why do you seem to be unable to stand up for yourself and expect others to do it for you? YOur problem is easily solved. SImply E Mail this Flo person and tell her that you are not interested in hearing her thoughts or suggestions on what needs to be done for your mother and you would like her to keep her suggestions to herself. ANy future E Mails from her should immediately be deleted without reading them.

I am also confused here. YOu said your mother lives out of state and is currently in a nursing home for rehab from surgery. HOw are you bringing her meals to the nursing home if you are in different states?

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

I won't judge my adult children, I don't feel it is my place as a mother to judge them. My place as a Mother is to just love them. I don't have to agree with what they do or support what they do but I won't judge them.

I will still love them UNCONDITIONALLY.

I don't love them because they behave and stay out of trouble, I love them because I am their Mother and they are my children.

KathyPet · ‎03-09-2010

@KarenQVC wrote:
PPS--NOW would be a good time to get your mother into a basic nursing home near you. Just transfer her right from the SNF to the other nursing home. She is old-old and now is the time while you still have some health left. Your mother may elect to go near your sister--don't forget to offer that too. Hee, hee.

UNless her mother has given full power of attorney to the OP to make medical decisions or the mother is declared incompetent by a court and the OP is given legal guardianship the OPhas no legal standing or any right to force her mother to go into any type of home anywhere or do anything else she doesn't want to do. Just because she is old and stubborn does not mean she gives up her rights to make her own decisions about where and how she lives. THe OP needs to respect her choice. She also needs to stand up for herself and tell this Flo person to get off her back and stop telling her what to do.

KarenQVC · ‎05-13-2010

@KathyPet @CatsyCline You are right. The only thing OP can do now is stop her physical care of her mother and have her mother hire help when her mother decides to do it.