Do You Defend your Children? - Page 3

Keeper of the koi · ‎12-14-2015

You know what is right, but dealing with somone like your mother is a horrible situation . What ever you do ,do what you want to do. Mothers like this are heartbrealing ,I know because my mother chooses to bad mouth us ,to make herself look better. You know the truth. I wish you peace finding what is right.

Maryanne

wildcat fan · ‎03-23-2010

My husband and I have always said that we'll be the first to celebrate when they do something well, the biggest cheerleaders when they need support, and the first ones to call them out when they do something they shouldn't. If my child's in the wrong, I try not to make excuses but use it as a learning opportunity. I don't feel comfortable airing dirty laundry or negative thoughts about my family or anyone else's family. It's important to be supportive to get everyone on the right track rather than bring them down.

dex · ‎03-09-2010

@wildcat fan@Love what you said.

game-on · ‎03-22-2010

It sounds like your mother has remained consistent in her behavior.... so wishing that she would change probably isnt realistic...sadly. I can hear that it hurts you, and i am sorry. I had a mom that said and did hurtful things also.... so i had to decide what i would do because i felt i couldnt live with myself if i didnt do those things. It wasnt easy, but i had to accept that my mom wasnt going to live forever and i had to keep telling myself that i had chosen to do it.... when she passed i knew i had done what i felt was right. I had to search within myself to find the answers... and develop a thick skin. I cried in private, wrote in my journal... and took care of myself.... because i had to do this. I wish you the best. I know you are having a difficult time. (((hugs)))

wagirl · ‎03-09-2010

My mom used to criticize my kids and husband and my home when she went kind of crazy about 25 years ago. She announced then that she no longer wanted her 3 kids and our families around her for a while. So we let her be and then one day she announced that it was all right to come around her again., but the damage was done and no one wanted to be part of her life. By that time all her grands were grown up and many of them didn't remember her. I did keep my kids away and of course never mentioned the mean things she said.She never once apologized for her words or behaviour. I never spoke to her or saw her in those 25 years. She died 3 years ago in an assisted living place with no one around. She was mentally ill and would not let us help her get any medical help. Very sad and I do forgive her actions but won't forget them.

Q4u · ‎03-17-2010

@ashleigh dupray wrote:
my mother lives out of state and is 86 and had elective surgery at the end of Oct and is now in a nursing home for rehab. she has a "freind" who is wealthy. i wall call Flo. one home in the Hamptons and trust fund wealthy. my mother worked for their family for many years as a housekeeper. in fact when i was a teen, this family was her top priority because she was paid . now, this "friend" Flo and her brother Ebb are the only friends my mother has. they are both in their 70s. the brother is a convicted felon and a level II sex offender. my mother took him in when he was going through the legal process. she still looks after him. . i was in state for a while during her surgery and hospital stat and the SNF, but had to come home to take care of my own biz for two weeks. i will have to go back and get the home ready for my mom's release.

Flo the "friend" has been sending multiple text messages to me telling me all the things that should be done for my mother before she gets out of the nursing facility including retro-fitting the bathroom. today my mother told me that Flo has said a number of negative things about me. my mother has never defended me to any of her past friends. one comment was particularly hurtful.

i am not surprised but i thought at this time in her life she would get a clue and realize that her older daughter, the one that always took family leave (3x for many weeks at a time) when my Dad was sick and now does all she can to help her mother, is the one who will be there for her when she comes home. just like when her hip broke and she broke a foot. my sister has not ever stepped up. she hated my father, but is my mothers favorite. still all she has done is send a bouquet of flowers.

i'm doing the heavy lifting as always, but my body can't do this much longer. i have spinal stenosis and my dics are fried. i just guess i want that " family is #1 " feeling . not getting that... i want to just say no at this point. how can any mother not stick up for her child?

I don't know how any mother can't stick up for their child.... but I do know that honoring your mother (and father) despite family issues, despite not defending you is the highest gift given and while not being recognized here on earth, it will be recognized.... take good care.....

*~"Never eat more than you can lift......" Miss Piggy~*

Imadickens · ‎06-15-2016

That's a hard one! I've never thought about it. I guess if anyone "gossips" about them it's me! I spend so much time keeping them "saints" that I feel I need to balance it out by saying things like, " I wish my dd would take more care in her appearance (which is true!) But, thinking about it now, yes, I definitely would defend my adult children. To be honest, I can't think of anything they do that I couldn't defend. They've both always been like that!

Never underestimate the power of kindness.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@ashleigh dupray wrote:
my mother lives out of state and is 86 and had elective surgery at the end of Oct and is now in a nursing home for rehab. she has a "freind" who is wealthy. i wall call Flo. one home in the Hamptons and trust fund wealthy. my mother worked for their family for many years as a housekeeper. in fact when i was a teen, this family was her top priority because she was paid . now, this "friend" Flo and her brother Ebb are the only friends my mother has. they are both in their 70s. the brother is a convicted felon and a level II sex offender. my mother took him in when he was going through the legal process. she still looks after him. . i was in state for a while during her surgery and hospital stat and the SNF, but had to come home to take care of my own biz for two weeks. i will have to go back and get the home ready for my mom's release.

Flo the "friend" has been sending multiple text messages to me telling me all the things that should be done for my mother before she gets out of the nursing facility including retro-fitting the bathroom. today my mother told me that Flo has said a number of negative things about me. my mother has never defended me to any of her past friends. one comment was particularly hurtful.

i am not surprised but i thought at this time in her life she would get a clue and realize that her older daughter, the one that always took family leave (3x for many weeks at a time) when my Dad was sick and now does all she can to help her mother, is the one who will be there for her when she comes home. just like when her hip broke and she broke a foot. my sister has not ever stepped up. she hated my father, but is my mothers favorite. still all she has done is send a bouquet of flowers.

i'm doing the heavy lifting as always, but my body can't do this much longer. i have spinal stenosis and my dics are fried. i just guess i want that " family is #1 " feeling . not getting that... i want to just say no at this point. how can any mother not stick up for her child?

Seriously ????? How petty can you get ? Your mother is 86 and she's obvously been very ill with long recuperation. Give the lady a break and just let it go,

CatsyCline · ‎07-24-2013

@chrystaltree no surprise form you. have a turkey leg, its obvious your blood sugar is low

KathyPet · ‎03-09-2010

YOu're a grown woman. DOn't like the comments this Flo,person supposedly,made about you then confront Flo yourself. YOu obviously know how to contact her. TO expect your elderly mother who is coming out,of a nursing home to take up,for you against her friend is absurd.