Cheerleaders needed, please - stepping out of my zone.

house_cat · ‎03-09-2010

I recently moved to a new part of the country. I joined the Newcomers Club for the area and was pleased to see that there are several groups I would like to join.

I contacted the host of the knit/crochet group and it turns out that the next meeting is Friday of this week at her home. She was extremely gracious and welcoming and is expecting me to attend the meeting.

I'm terrified. It's not obvious when you meet me, because I've learned to cope well, but I am actually very shy and always feel like an imposition. I could really use some moral support and reasons to step out of my comfort zone.

Thank you.

~ house cat ~

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

I think you'll find the more you get out and meet people, putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, the easier it will become and the more confident you'll get.

This group you're visiting will be perfect. It will be a small group with a common interest, plenty to talk about and everyone will be busy with their work, not looking at or focusing on you.

I commend you for taking what must have been a difficult step of initiating the contact to connect with this group. If you're shy, it wasn't easy.

Now go out and turn on the charm.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

Winkk · ‎03-15-2010

I have the same personality as you. I joined a new church not long ago and did not know anyone. One lady reached out to me to join her bible group. I was very nervous but went. Everyone was so nice. That was 5 years ago and now I'm involved in a lot of a activities and have made many friends.

I just kept on thinking that all these other ladies were new at some point too and felt just like me. The more you go the more they learn about you. Go and have a good time.

ThinkingOutLoud · ‎05-01-2020

First, stop stating that you're shy and an imposition, etc. "As a man thinketh, so is he" so use the power of words/thought to create what you want, not what you don't. (google some affirmations to post around your house/repeat to yourself)

Second, remember that not everything is about you. Meaning that *they* want to be accepted just as much as you do.

Third, arm yourself with some tools (conversation starters, good jokes, funny story, etc).

Fourth, you may be the friend someone else is looking for so just be friendly and relax.

Last, smile and enjoy yourself.

Kudos for stepping out of your comfort zone.

Oh - genuine compliments and asking for ideas and opinions can go a long way.

GenXmuse · ‎05-15-2016

It sounds like you got this! That's awesome you're already reaching out and starting to make connections. You're gonna do great!

Bird mama · ‎03-12-2010

@house_cat I've chatted with you for well over a decade and you know I don't like people. Given the choice, I'd be surrounded by animals and in my glory.

You expressed an interest in something that you already do and do very well - crochet/knit. Have confidence that you are meeting with others that share the same passion.

You expressed an interest and she invited you over - you have to go. Backing out would be poor form (You know I'm razzing you right?)

This is the perfect time in your life to engage in groups like this. If you feel shy or awkward, blame it on the pandemic lockdown. Our nation has been through one heck of a trauma and not everyone is ready to get out there like they did in the 'before times'

There are times when you must speak, not because you are going to change the opposing side, but because if you do not speak, they have changed you.

house_cat · ‎03-09-2010

Thank you, everyone.

It really does help.

@Bird mama

Can you please come with me?

~ house cat ~

Pook · ‎03-20-2010

@house_cat You'll do fine. Probably most of us would feel that way. What I always do is bring some type of dessert. I am a good baker so I always make something to bring and that starts many conversations.

ScrapHappy · ‎03-28-2010

I am going to have my daughter (16) read this. She's also shy and never goes out of her comfort zone. The few friends she has now do not treat her well and I'm always telling her to join a club, take a class, etc. to meet new people with similar interests.