Among Friends

[tends2dogs]

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@NYC Susanwrote:

I think you'll be a lot happier (and it will be better for your marriage) if you just accept the fact that these are the kind of gifts you're going to get.  Don't expect anything to change.  It is what it is.

Because this is your husband's family, I wouldn't do anything other than say, "Thank you".  Reciprocating with cheap/inappropriate gifts, refusing to say thank you, and leaving the gifts in her home are all passive-aggressive tactics that will do nothing other than increase the negativity in your own mind and occupy your thoughts more than is necessary. 

Don't provide fodder for gossip or reason for her to say anything negative about you.  And if by some chance she's not being deliberately unkind, no harm will be done.  Just say, "thank you", toss or donate when you get home, and go on with your life.  

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@NYC SusanThis is one of the best answers here.

@mintedroseWhy sink to their level?  You don't like what they are doing  to you, and others here are suggesting you do the same or worse.  Be the bigger person. Getting even is extremely juvenile.  Say thank you and let it drop.  If it isn't a matter of money to you, I would give these people a really nice gift.  Lead by example.......afterall, it is your DH's family.  You can go away feeling that YOU did the right thing.  I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

[Lilysmom]

@tends2dogs@NYC Susan, your answers are the right ones!  Totally agree.  Take the high road.  LM

[LUVNLIFE]

Gift giving should come from the heart and thought towards the person it is given to. Too bad some people think it's just a bother and don't put any thought in to it. It really speaks to their character. If you are not excited about the gift you are giving it probably needs rethinking. 

Have your husband intervene with a suggestion or going in on a gift together(he picks it out). 

[mintedrose]

@tends2dogs I think you are right. I cannot stoop to her level. Even thinking about giving them back to her caused me a little anxiety as if Im doing something wrong. You said if money isnt the issue here then give them nice gifts which I do. I gave my mil a nice louis vuitton scarf since she wears scarfs a lot. Ive never seen her wear it tho. I gave her some nice body butter from qvc and some wen because shes very concerned about her skin and hair. I hope that didnt offend her in some way. 

[mintedrose]

@YorkieonmyPillow I so love your answer! Im sending you a virtual hug right now. Wish I could invite you over for some tea. Actually, i wish i could invite all of you who commented here. I so need good women in my life and need to get in touch with that 'inner diva'.   

[AnikaBrodie]

@mintedrose

As some others have said take the "high road."  Just say thanks for the gift and move on.  Then within a few days or so add it to the donation center box if you don't like it or won't use it. As they say, one man's junk is another man's treasure.  Or, if you have spring or summer yard sales add it to the table for resale. Someone may be able to use it.  It makes no sense to make an issue of it and cause potential conflict with her.

[NYC Susan]

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@Group 5 minus 1wrote:

I guess DH doesn't love his wife enuff to deal w/this issue.

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Wow!  That's harsh.

No one is going to change people who deliberately give terrible gifts.  I'm willing to bet that her husband realizes that and understands the wisdom in not making a mountain out of a molehill.  It's far better for all of us to choose our battles, and there's no need to escalate this into anything more.  He may very well be trying to protect his wife from the drama that will surely follow if he makes a big deal about it.

Commenting about how much someone does or doesn't love someone else is completely inappropriate, by the way, especially when you don't know them or anything at all about their personalities or relationship.  I think what you said was cruel and unnecessary.

[NYC Susan]

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@tends2dogswrote:

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@NYC Susanwrote:

I think you'll be a lot happier (and it will be better for your marriage) if you just accept the fact that these are the kind of gifts you're going to get.  Don't expect anything to change.  It is what it is.

Because this is your husband's family, I wouldn't do anything other than say, "Thank you".  Reciprocating with cheap/inappropriate gifts, refusing to say thank you, and leaving the gifts in her home are all passive-aggressive tactics that will do nothing other than increase the negativity in your own mind and occupy your thoughts more than is necessary. 

Don't provide fodder for gossip or reason for her to say anything negative about you.  And if by some chance she's not being deliberately unkind, no harm will be done.  Just say, "thank you", toss or donate when you get home, and go on with your life.  

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@NYC SusanThis is one of the best answers here.

@mintedroseWhy sink to their level?  You don't like what they are doing  to you, and others here are suggesting you do the same or worse.  Be the bigger person. Getting even is extremely juvenile.  Say thank you and let it drop.  If it isn't a matter of money to you, I would give these people a really nice gift.  Lead by example.......afterall, it is your DH's family.  You can go away feeling that YOU did the right thing.  I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

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Thank you, @tends2dogs!  I appreciate that.  :-)

And I agree that getting even is juvenile.  It's also a waste of energy.  I wouldn't lose any sleep over it either.  I would try to find the humor in the situation, shrug, and move on.  No one is going to bring me down to their level.

[NYC Susan]

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@Lilysmomwrote:

@tends2dogs@NYC Susan, your answers are the right ones!  Totally agree.  Take the high road.  LM

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Thank you! 

Yes, I believe it's the right thing to do, and also - luckily! - the easiest thing to do.

My husband had two family members who always gave me gifts that were not my taste at all.  I'm very easy to buy for, but they were off the mark every single time.  Everything they gave me was their taste, not mine, and the message was pretty clear even at non-gift-giving times that they felt their taste was superior to mine.  I didn't have the time, energy, or inclination to make a big deal out of it, so I never did.  Blowing it out of proportion would have been childish and immature, IMO, and I was perfectly content knowing that I never did anything to escalate the situation into something unnecessarily major.  I did it for my sake more than theirs. There are lots more worthwhile things to get upset about, and I refused to add another stress to my life.  Nipping potential drama in the bud is something I highly recommend.