Among Friends

[mintedrose]

on what to do when someone gives you bad gifts? My mother in law for example, tends to give not very nice gifts. I hate to even say it because I am very thankful that she even thinks of me to gift anything but lately, its been bugging me. I dont expect it to be expensive or anything fancy, I prefer not to have anything instead of something thats weird. They are doing fine financially so I know its not that. We always get her nice flower arrangements and a nicely done baskets for birthdays or mothers day. When we go for vacation, i always get her something nice as well. I always thought she had very good style and taste but with the gifts shes given me in the past, im not so sure why she would do that. It feels as though she gives me things that someone gave her and she didnt like herself. ;( For my birthday a couple of years ago, she gave me worn out table mats and napkins that she knows are not my style. Now, i know that she wouldnt even use that in her own house while serving. My sister in law on the other hand gave me contact paper for Christmas. I feel awful about it. Im sorry if this offends anyone. Im perhaps hard to please but if it was me, I would not give those things as gifts. Im venting because it really bugs me and makes me wonder if people think twice before gifting someone. What advice would you give? 

[Peaches McPhee]

No advice, but we can all probably relate.  I've gotten gifts from my sisters over the years, where I wondered if they even know me, much less be related to me for the last almost 60 years.  But, I really don't think you can solve this without coming off as snobbish or ungrateful, and I am sure you not either.

[Abrowneyegirl]

I would nicely suggest that since everyone has all the "stuff" we could ever need or use.  To put the gift giving process 'out of it's misery'.  We now use the money we would have spent on gifts to go out as a group and enjoy a meal.  We rather spend time together than pass around un-needed gifts.

[DJP]

I would be gracious and just say thank you. It's easier to keep the peace. 

[NicksmomESQ]

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@DJPwrote:

I would be gracious and just say thank you. It's easier to keep the peace. 

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I agree.Just say thank you & either give it away or toss it. I get a Christmas gift from someone each year that DH & I consider to be junk.We say thank you & toss it when we get home.

[blackhole99]

 The gifts you are talking about being given are IMO cruel and unthinking. I have relatives who have done that to me with gifts and I just conveniently leave the gift at their house.We are out of towners so that was that. I finally told my relatives I did not want to exchange gifts anymore and that was the end of it. I guess they didn't want to be bothered either.

[Mom2Dogs]

Sheesh why gift at all!!  .....my inlaws were gone when I married my dh so I never had problems like that and we never exchanged gifts with DH's family.  

I think my feelings would be hurt, what does your husband say?

I do't think I would say anything....I think it would cause friction that could never be repaired. 

[Desertdi]

My family decided together that 18 was the cut-off age for gift giving.   Truly, it was a blessing...........

[henderson]

My sister's mother-in-law gave her awful gifts, i.e. nightgown size 14 -- my sister is petite, and some used items.  She was married to a doctor so they had plenty of money.  My sister was very offended, but didn't say a word.  They never saw each other as they were miles away.   Are you close to your mother-in-law?  We know that my sister's m-i-l didn't like her.

[mintedrose]

@blackhole99 Thank you, i felt that same about these gits as cruel and thoughtless but I was thankful nonetheless. I wish i couldve left them but i know if I did, I would not forgive myself for it or to make them feel as if I'm being ungrateful or snobbish. In my angry moment, I did think about giving them back to her but didnt. It just hurts a lot because it makes me feel like I dont mean anything to them. ;(